Email I received from my Aunt. Agree, or disagree?? - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Brad Russ · 07-10-2009, 02:22 PM

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not satisfied with where I'm at and will definitely makes changes to hopefully improve my life, but I think her words make alot of sense. What do you think?? And you can be completely honest. I won't get offended.

Her email to me:

Hi Bradley:

I just wanted to explain a few things that might make you feel a little better about your illness and the way you feel.

You have an illness. If all the medication doesn't make you 'normal', then you need to be at peace with that. Remember the Serenity Prayer:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change: courage to change the things I can: and wisdom to know the difference.

What if I was suddenly blind. That is an illness. I can no longer work, no long bring in an income, no longer do all the things I could do before, but I'M
BLIND. My family and friends won't love me less.

Even though you had a small taste of life outside your room, it was temporary. If you need to stay in Carmen's house, you need to be at peace with that.
I don't love you less, the rest of us don't love you less. We aren't disappointed! What if your life was
my life. Would you feel less about me when I was still ill with my social disorder? Would you be disappointed that I wasn't able to go to work everyday? Would you hate me for wanting to just stay in my room?

I'm just trying to let you know, you are you, you need to not be so hard on yourself. I wish you could be at peace in your skin. I had a panic attack
when after my first divorce everyone told me to get into real estate. I had to lay in the tub with cold water running on me or I was going to pass out.

I right then and there told myself, if I was going to be this upset just thinking about real estate on my own, then don't do it. I was better immediately.
This is your life Bradley. No one else's. Like I tell mom, Colleen. Like the movie with Sigorney Weaver where she couldn't leave her house, no one thought badly of her. She would just say I have a phobia or disorder. People need to take it or leave it.

You can be thankful you have a room to go to that is yours. You have a computer. Your on line friends. Be happy with that. I don't know what else to say. You were born with this social disorder just as I was born needing glasses. You aren't useless. You give everyone around joy and love. You have a sense of humor. You make me
laugh anytime we are together. Your self worth isn't a job, how much money you make. Like I said,
if I lost both my arms, my life would be completely different. But I hope I would have the attitude to
live my life the best I could with what I had.

I hope you understand what I'm trying to say.
I need to get back to work. I love you. Just live.....
this is all we have. I would actually love to be able to sit here at the computer all day!

ZeldaGilroy · 07-10-2009, 02:26 PM

I think your aunt is a very smart lady and she obviously loves you very much. Take her words to heart and know that she respects and supports your decisions!

sunshinefizzy · 07-10-2009, 03:40 PM

I think that is very nice. I'm glad you have such a supporting family member.

PZelda · 07-10-2009, 03:50 PM

Your aunt sounds awesome! And very wise.

These are great words to live by.

Janice · 07-10-2009, 04:02 PM

Great advice. I just love common sense. She's not telling you to stop trying, but to realize when it's beyond your capabilities. Your aunt loves you a great deal. I wish I had a family member who loved me enough to write something so personal, loving and caring to me. You're a lucky man. So many people love you.

browneyes106 · 07-10-2009, 04:19 PM

That is very good advice from your aunt.

TripperFan · 07-10-2009, 05:05 PM

Man, she said it perfectly Brad!! As Janice says, she's not saying to give up on life - just to enjoy what it is. If it is/was something you can change, and you really want to, then at some point you will. If it's something you can't change, then try to accept it and make the best of it.

And she's totally right - if you can't get out of your room, that doesn't make your life worthless at all. If you were out of your room, probably none of us would know you - or at least not as well and where would we be? You're as valuable to us and we are to you.

I get out and all, but I know my life has improved knowing you're in it.

What a fantastic aunt and person Brad! Don't ever feel badly about your illness Brad. The more of us who stand up to society and let them know that mental illness is just the same as another illness, but it affects the brain the more society will get used to it and stop the stigma attached. I know I've shocked a few people with what I've gone through, but I'm not ashamed of it - I didn't bring any of it on myself so why should I be? You shouldn't be either. Your aunt rocks! I'd copy that to a powerpoint file and fancy it up, print it and hang it on my wall if I were you.

beautifuldreamer · 07-10-2009, 06:45 PM

I think your Aunt is being very intelligent here, Brad. I agree with what everyone else is saying here... you gotta live your life with what you have, and you gotta do the best you can with it... Don't try to be something you're not. Enjoy the wonderful person that we all know as Brad, and don't be so hard on yourself.

Brad Russ · 07-10-2009, 09:04 PM

Thanks for the input guys, as well as for the nice things you said about my Aunt.

You guys are right, she is a very intelligent woman, who always has good and practical advice. I have to admit, when I first read this email I didn't know what to make of it. In a way I thought she was telling me to stay the way I am, but upon a couple more readings, and with your guys' reassurance I now know that that's not what she was saying. She's basically telling me that right now my circumstances are as they are, and instead of tormenting myself over it, I need to accept it for what it is. She wasn't saying not to improve and get better, but just to deal with what I'm going through right now, and not worry about what others think, and try to just be content where I'm at. I think that's the basic message anyway. lol!! Thanks again for your input guys'. I plan on putting her words into practice, I really do.

clj2 · 07-10-2009, 09:06 PM

I will echo and say your aunt sounds like a very wise, sweet, intelligent woman. You are lucky to have one like her!

Brad Russ · 07-10-2009, 09:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by clj2

I will echo and say your aunt sounds like a very wise, sweet, intelligent woman. You are lucky to have one like her!

Thanks alot, I really appreciate that. I'm seeing what you're saying more and more each time I talk to her. I know many people don't even get along with their aunt's, and uncle's, and so I realize how fortunate I am to have her!!

Jude The Obscure · 07-10-2009, 09:17 PM

Your Big Bro here says

TripperFan · 07-10-2009, 09:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Little Mel

Thanks alot, I really appreciate that. I'm seeing what you're saying more and more each time I talk to her. I know many people don't even get along with their aunt's, and uncle's, and so I realize how fortunate I am to have her!!

Is she your mom's sister Brad?

Nighthawk76 · 07-10-2009, 09:28 PM

I agree with what everyone else had to say. I think that your aunt is a wise woman, Brad.

Brad Russ · 07-10-2009, 09:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pus$y Galore

Is she your mom's sister Brad?

Yep, she's my mom's older sister who we visited in Arizona earlier this year. My mom also has a half sister, and a brother.

07-10-2009, 02:22 PM	#1
Brad Russ Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Feb 17, 2002 Location: Portland, Oregon Posts: 10,085	Email I received from my Aunt. Agree, or disagree?? Now don't get me wrong, I'm not satisfied with where I'm at and will definitely makes changes to hopefully improve my life, but I think her words make alot of sense. What do you think?? And you can be completely honest. I won't get offended. Her email to me: Hi Bradley: I just wanted to explain a few things that might make you feel a little better about your illness and the way you feel. You have an illness. If all the medication doesn't make you 'normal', then you need to be at peace with that. Remember the Serenity Prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change: courage to change the things I can: and wisdom to know the difference. What if I was suddenly blind. That is an illness. I can no longer work, no long bring in an income, no longer do all the things I could do before, but I'M BLIND. My family and friends won't love me less. Even though you had a small taste of life outside your room, it was temporary. If you need to stay in Carmen's house, you need to be at peace with that. I don't love you less, the rest of us don't love you less. We aren't disappointed! What if your life was my life. Would you feel less about me when I was still ill with my social disorder? Would you be disappointed that I wasn't able to go to work everyday? Would you hate me for wanting to just stay in my room? I'm just trying to let you know, you are you, you need to not be so hard on yourself. I wish you could be at peace in your skin. I had a panic attack when after my first divorce everyone told me to get into real estate. I had to lay in the tub with cold water running on me or I was going to pass out. I right then and there told myself, if I was going to be this upset just thinking about real estate on my own, then don't do it. I was better immediately. This is your life Bradley. No one else's. Like I tell mom, Colleen. Like the movie with Sigorney Weaver where she couldn't leave her house, no one thought badly of her. She would just say I have a phobia or disorder. People need to take it or leave it. You can be thankful you have a room to go to that is yours. You have a computer. Your on line friends. Be happy with that. I don't know what else to say. You were born with this social disorder just as I was born needing glasses. You aren't useless. You give everyone around joy and love. You have a sense of humor. You make me laugh anytime we are together. Your self worth isn't a job, how much money you make. Like I said, if I lost both my arms, my life would be completely different. But I hope I would have the attitude to live my life the best I could with what I had. I hope you understand what I'm trying to say. I need to get back to work. I love you. Just live..... this is all we have. I would actually love to be able to sit here at the computer all day!
	__________________ St. John 15:13 - Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." Currently my favorite song.

07-10-2009, 03:50 PM	#4
PZelda Two Valeries! <3 Forum Addict Join Date: Jul 15, 2002 Location: I'm STILL missing NYC. :( Posts: 78,223	Your aunt sounds awesome! And very wise. These are great words to live by.
	__________________ Cheers behind the couch!

07-10-2009, 05:05 PM	#7
TripperFan In God's Arms Now Forum Star Join Date: Sep 14, 2003 Location: Heartbreak Ridge Posts: 12,086	Man, she said it perfectly Brad!! As Janice says, she's not saying to give up on life - just to enjoy what it is. If it is/was something you can change, and you really want to, then at some point you will. If it's something you can't change, then try to accept it and make the best of it. And she's totally right - if you can't get out of your room, that doesn't make your life worthless at all. If you were out of your room, probably none of us would know you - or at least not as well and where would we be? You're as valuable to us and we are to you. I get out and all, but I know my life has improved knowing you're in it. What a fantastic aunt and person Brad! Don't ever feel badly about your illness Brad. The more of us who stand up to society and let them know that mental illness is just the same as another illness, but it affects the brain the more society will get used to it and stop the stigma attached. I know I've shocked a few people with what I've gone through, but I'm not ashamed of it - I didn't bring any of it on myself so why should I be? You shouldn't be either. Your aunt rocks! I'd copy that to a powerpoint file and fancy it up, print it and hang it on my wall if I were you.
	__________________ If I don't see you in this world, I'll meet you in the next one.....don't be late James Marshall Hendrix Voodoo Chile The Forum Legend formerly known as TripperFan "religion is for people who are afraid of hell--spirituality is for people who have been through hell"---anonymous

07-10-2009, 09:06 PM	#10
clj2 Member Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 16, 2005 Location: SC Posts: 3,501	I will echo and say your aunt sounds like a very wise, sweet, intelligent woman. You are lucky to have one like her!
	__________________ -Chris

07-10-2009, 02:26 PM	#2
ZeldaGilroy Dobie and Zelda Forever!!! Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Nov 14, 2000 Location: I don't know...I'm probably lost! Posts: 4,144	I think your aunt is a very smart lady and she obviously loves you very much. Take her words to heart and know that she respects and supports your decisions!

07-10-2009, 03:40 PM	#3
sunshinefizzy Member Senior Member Join Date: Sep 27, 2006 Location: Craptown Posts: 2,054	I think that is very nice. I'm glad you have such a supporting family member.

07-10-2009, 04:02 PM	#5
Janice Retired Admin - Hollywood Swingin' Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 03, 2001 Location: Beantown Posts: 36,388	Great advice. I just love common sense. She's not telling you to stop trying, but to realize when it's beyond your capabilities. Your aunt loves you a great deal. I wish I had a family member who loved me enough to write something so personal, loving and caring to me. You're a lucky man. So many people love you.

07-10-2009, 04:19 PM	#6
browneyes106 Member Forum Veteran Join Date: Apr 01, 2008 Posts: 6,094	That is very good advice from your aunt.

07-10-2009, 06:45 PM	#8
beautifuldreamer Member Senior Member Join Date: Jan 30, 2009 Location: In a constant state of oblivion Posts: 1,361	I think your Aunt is being very intelligent here, Brad. I agree with what everyone else is saying here... you gotta live your life with what you have, and you gotta do the best you can with it... Don't try to be something you're not. Enjoy the wonderful person that we all know as Brad, and don't be so hard on yourself.

07-10-2009, 09:04 PM	#9
Brad Russ Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Feb 17, 2002 Location: Portland, Oregon Posts: 10,085	Thanks for the input guys, as well as for the nice things you said about my Aunt. You guys are right, she is a very intelligent woman, who always has good and practical advice. I have to admit, when I first read this email I didn't know what to make of it. In a way I thought she was telling me to stay the way I am, but upon a couple more readings, and with your guys' reassurance I now know that that's not what she was saying. She's basically telling me that right now my circumstances are as they are, and instead of tormenting myself over it, I need to accept it for what it is. She wasn't saying not to improve and get better, but just to deal with what I'm going through right now, and not worry about what others think, and try to just be content where I'm at. I think that's the basic message anyway. lol!! Thanks again for your input guys'. I plan on putting her words into practice, I really do.

07-10-2009, 09:17 PM	#12
Jude The Obscure Retired Eternal Member Forum Veteran Join Date: Dec 10, 2006 Posts: 7,520	Your Big Bro here says

07-10-2009, 09:28 PM	#14
Nighthawk76 Rachel Berry Forum Celebrity Join Date: Feb 28, 2003 Location: Illinois Posts: 23,254	I agree with what everyone else had to say. I think that your aunt is a wise woman, Brad.