Gene's childhood abuse and how he improved from his father - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

JRDM · 07-02-2009, 02:03 PM

In the episode about Gene's father we get a glimpse into how sad Gene's childhood must have been. Even as a grown man, his father is constantly criticizing him and putting him down. I think his father loved him, but he had some serious problems. I felt so sorry for the governor in this episode. You could see the years of hurt and pain. For a father tell the coach to take his son out of the game where the team could win is just awful. That hurts so much. I should know. I grew up with a father who constantly criticized me and made me feel like I wasn't as good as other kids. Gene always had a vulnerability to him that probably came from years of hurt.

It's good to see that Gene improved from his father when he became a father. In fact, he was the totally opposite of his father. Gene was very loving and gentle with Katie. He never put her down or made her feel inadequate. Katie had lots of confidence in herself because her father did. He hardly ever yelled at her either. Heck, he even cried when he had to spank her. Disciplining Katie was probably so hard for him because I imagine when Gene's father disciplined him it was in severe anger, and I'm sure it didn't hurt his father at all to do it. Also, I bet he got lickings he did NOT deserve just because his father was in a bad mood!! I know I did. Even as an adult his father tells Gene not to talk back to him.

I know this is a show, but I've seen numerous real-life examples of how kids who grew up being emotionally abused either repeated the pattern with their own kids or who totally stopped the pattern and were good parents. Gene is the perfect example, and this portrayal is so true to life and accurate. Gene would either become just like his father or totally opposite of his father. For Katie's sake, I'm glad he became the opposite. In the first episode he says he waited until he was older to have a child. Perhaps that's because he had some things to work through and wanted to be the best dad possible when he did have a child. I think sometimes people who wait until they're older and wiser make better parents.

I think Gene was a great father. Of course he had to make sacrifices due to his job as the governor, but the time he did spend with Katie was quality time. They loved each other so much. I wish things could have been that way for me when I was growing up. I would have given anything to have had a father like Gene Gatling. He was the kind of dad that would make you feel safe and loved unconditionally. He was also very understanding and would teach you good values. I hope James Noble was like that with his real-life daughter. I'm sure he was. He seems like a very nice guy.

Gene probably decided a long time ago that he didn't want to be like his father. You can't control your childhood, but you can control your adulthood. That's a decision you make, whether you will be like someone you didn't like or whether you will be different. I hope I can come up from my father. I don't have any kids yet, nor am I married. I am 29. I want to be a good parent when I do have kids.

BensonFan · 07-02-2009, 04:58 PM

That is a great post.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and personal situations in analyzing the Governor as a father.

JRDM · 07-02-2009, 05:09 PM

Thanks BensonFan. I identified so much with Gene in that episode. I felt his pain. He had a quality that made you just want to take care of him and comfort him. He was easy to love and respect. Since my situation is very similar, I want to make a total about face when I have kids just like Gene did. Also, I loved Gene's relationship with Katie. I wish mine had been that way with my father. No such luck. My father was too much like Gene's father. However, my father, unlike Gene's, put on a front in public so I suffered a lot in silence. I may be dumb to be inspired so much by a fictional character, but some of the Benson episodes were very true to life. That was a great thing about Benson. The show reflected real life on so many levels.

JRDM · 07-02-2009, 05:30 PM

Sorry to keep replying to my own post, but I wanted to add that it always catches my attention when parents apologize to their children for something. I liked the way Gene apologized to Katie in "Trust Me" for getting upset with her that morning and confining her to the house. My father NEVER apologized to me for anything, and he did far worse things than that. Gene really didn't even have a reason to apologize to Katie anyway. She was driving him nuts and wouldn't stop. Anyway, I guess he felt bad. I bet his father never apologized to him. I would like to know Gene's reaction when Katie admitted to him that she had disobeyed him and not only left the house but had gone to the KISS concert. Any father would have been mad about that. I'm not sure if he punished her though.

Also, I liked how Gene handled Katie being upset with Benson when Benson had to fire Miss Ellie. He didn't go up there and start in yelling at her for getting mad at Benson. Instead, he talked to her calmly and softly. However, he was very much to the point and wouldn't let her interrupt him. He got the point across effectively. If I had done that my father would have come to my room yelling and screaming. He would have been embarrassed and mad at me for embarrassing him. He would NOT have understood my feelings. Gene knew Katie was hurting. She was a kid and didn't understand why Miss Ellie had to be fired. Gene explained it and helped her understand it better and made her see that Benson was not at fault.

catlover79 · 07-02-2009, 08:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JRDM

Thanks BensonFan. I identified so much with Gene in that episode. I felt his pain. He had a quality that made you just want to take care of him and comfort him. He was easy to love and respect. Since my situation is very similar, I want to make a total about face when I have kids just like Gene did. Also, I loved Gene's relationship with Katie. I wish mine had been that way with my father. No such luck. My father was too much like Gene's father. However, my father, unlike Gene's, put on a front in public so I suffered a lot in silence. I may be dumb to be inspired so much by a fictional character, but some of the Benson episodes were very true to life. That was a great thing about Benson. The show reflected real life on so many levels.

That's such a beautiful post. I too think Gene was a great dad. I know what you mean about Benson episodes affecting you - read what I wrote about the episode "War Stories":

http://www.sitcomsonline.com/boards/...d.php?t=209719

Scoobiedoo30 · 07-02-2009, 11:30 PM

that is a great post

blink · 07-03-2009, 06:46 PM

When I say successful people are often the product of domineering parents, I don't want to sound like I'm taking up for Gene's father, after all the man was defiantly abusive but it's possible that Gene's success may have been due in part to his father's misguided motivational tactics. Sadly, some parents believe that criticism actually motivates children, when this happens the child either continually tries to live up to the parent's expectations or they just give up and take a path of their own, either way emotional scars may be left behind.

We'll never know if Gene's father was one of those misguided parents who thought belittling his children would somehow motivate them or just a very bitter individual who thought nothing was ever good enough, I'll go with the latter. One thing's for sure, despite all of it, Gene was an all-around success and the writers really hit it out of the ballpark on the episode "Old Man Gatling", it had just the right balance of humor and emotion, defiantly a lost art in today's world of trashy and pointless sitcoms.

As far as James Noble as a father in real life, I once read somewhere that Missy Gold was guite fond of him, she even jokingly said she thought of petitioning to see if she could have the Noble's adopt her.

I presume she was joking!

JRDM · 07-07-2009, 10:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blink

When I say successful people are often the product of domineering parents, I don't want to sound like I'm taking up for Gene's father, after all the man was defiantly abusive but it's possible that Gene's success may have been due in part to his father's misguided motivational tactics. Sadly, some parents believe that criticism actually motivates children, when this happens the child either continually tries to live up to the parent's expectations or they just give up and take a path of their own, either way emotional scars may be left behind.

We'll never know if Gene's father was one of those misguided parents who thought belittling his children would somehow motivate them or just a very bitter individual who thought nothing was ever good enough, I'll go with the latter. One thing's for sure, despite all of it, Gene was an all-around success and the writers really hit it out of the ballpark on the episode "Old Man Gatling", it had just the right balance of humor and emotion, defiantly a lost art in today's world of trashy and pointless sitcoms.

As far as James Noble as a father in real life, I once read somewhere that Missy Gold was guite fond of him, she even jokingly said she thought of petitioning to see if she could have the Noble's adopt her.

I presume she was joking!

That is interesting that she would say that. I wouldn't think someone would joke about something like that unless there was a little truth in it. I wonder if Missy was not close with her real-life dad. I know her and her siblings were adopted by their stepfather. I am a lawyer, and I know that an adoption cannot take place unless the parent's rights are terminated, or they are dead, or they agree to the adoption. Either way, it doesn't sound good as far as Missy's real dad. She didn't even carry his name. I don't know if she was close with her stepfather either, even though she did have his name.

Perhaps she wasn't close with either of them, and perhaps she wished that James Noble was her dad in real life as well as on the show. That would have been something if he had of adopted her and had become her real-life parent too. On the dvd Mr. Noble says that she always acted with him off-screen in a very daughterly manner, and that they had a good relationship. If she said she wished he could adopt her, I'm sure there was some truth to it even if she was supposedly joking. Well, at least he was her dad on-screen. Do you have the link to that article? I would love to read the whole thing.

catlover79 · 07-07-2009, 11:42 AM

According to Tracey Gold's memoir, Room To Grow, the girls were adopted by their stepfather at a very young age. Their father up and left the family when Tracey and Missy were very little, and to my knowledge hasn't been in the picture since. They loved Harry Gold right from the beginning, and he always treated the girls like his own. Harry and Bonnie (the girls' mom) went on to have three more daughters.

JRDM · 07-07-2009, 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by catlover79

According to Tracey Gold's memoir, Room To Grow, the girls were adopted by their stepfather at a very young age. Their father up and left the family when Tracey and Missy were very little, and to my knowledge hasn't been in the picture since. They loved Harry Gold right from the beginning, and he always treated the girls like his own. Harry and Bonnie (the girls' mom) went on to have three more daughters.

Thanks catlover79. I need to read Tracey's memoir. It sounds interesting. That's so sad that the girls' father abandoned them. It sounds like his rights were terminated if the girls were able to be adopted. I'm proud they were close with their stepfather. However, I'm sure they never got over the hurt of what their father did to them. Who would not want a daughter like Missy? She was the cutest little thing and VERY smart.

catlover79 · 07-07-2009, 07:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JRDM

Thanks catlover79. I need to read Tracey's memoir. It sounds interesting. That's so sad that the girls' father abandoned them. It sounds like his rights were terminated if the girls were able to be adopted. I'm proud they were close with their stepfather. However, I'm sure they never got over the hurt of what their father did to them. Who would not want a daughter like Missy? She was the cutest little thing and VERY smart.

No problem! Tracey's book mainly deals with her anorexia and how she beat it, but her insights about her family are wonderful.

blink · 07-07-2009, 08:04 PM

Sorry, I don't remember if I read it on the internet or in an old print article, I've been a fan of Missy and Tracey for so long that it's all starting to get foggy now.
In Tracey's bio she described her family as being very close and her mother as being strict but loving. My guess would be that Missy was kidding around and it was just something that subconsciously slipped out. I wouldn't read too much into it, you know how kids always wish their parent's weren't so strict.
"Room To Grow" is available on EBay. Search Tracey Gold + Books.

teen-machine · 07-14-2009, 05:30 PM

Gene did NOT improve from his own father. Gene spanked his daughter just like his father spanked him and she was hurt for life.

07-02-2009, 02:03 PM	#1
JRDM Member Occasional Poster Join Date: May 23, 2007 Posts: 88	Gene's childhood abuse and how he improved from his father In the episode about Gene's father we get a glimpse into how sad Gene's childhood must have been. Even as a grown man, his father is constantly criticizing him and putting him down. I think his father loved him, but he had some serious problems. I felt so sorry for the governor in this episode. You could see the years of hurt and pain. For a father tell the coach to take his son out of the game where the team could win is just awful. That hurts so much. I should know. I grew up with a father who constantly criticized me and made me feel like I wasn't as good as other kids. Gene always had a vulnerability to him that probably came from years of hurt. It's good to see that Gene improved from his father when he became a father. In fact, he was the totally opposite of his father. Gene was very loving and gentle with Katie. He never put her down or made her feel inadequate. Katie had lots of confidence in herself because her father did. He hardly ever yelled at her either. Heck, he even cried when he had to spank her. Disciplining Katie was probably so hard for him because I imagine when Gene's father disciplined him it was in severe anger, and I'm sure it didn't hurt his father at all to do it. Also, I bet he got lickings he did NOT deserve just because his father was in a bad mood!! I know I did. Even as an adult his father tells Gene not to talk back to him. I know this is a show, but I've seen numerous real-life examples of how kids who grew up being emotionally abused either repeated the pattern with their own kids or who totally stopped the pattern and were good parents. Gene is the perfect example, and this portrayal is so true to life and accurate. Gene would either become just like his father or totally opposite of his father. For Katie's sake, I'm glad he became the opposite. In the first episode he says he waited until he was older to have a child. Perhaps that's because he had some things to work through and wanted to be the best dad possible when he did have a child. I think sometimes people who wait until they're older and wiser make better parents. I think Gene was a great father. Of course he had to make sacrifices due to his job as the governor, but the time he did spend with Katie was quality time. They loved each other so much. I wish things could have been that way for me when I was growing up. I would have given anything to have had a father like Gene Gatling. He was the kind of dad that would make you feel safe and loved unconditionally. He was also very understanding and would teach you good values. I hope James Noble was like that with his real-life daughter. I'm sure he was. He seems like a very nice guy. Gene probably decided a long time ago that he didn't want to be like his father. You can't control your childhood, but you can control your adulthood. That's a decision you make, whether you will be like someone you didn't like or whether you will be different. I hope I can come up from my father. I don't have any kids yet, nor am I married. I am 29. I want to be a good parent when I do have kids.

07-02-2009, 04:58 PM	#2
BensonFan Board Psychologist Senior Member Join Date: Mar 16, 2004 Location: Chicago, IL USA Posts: 2,733	That is a great post. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and personal situations in analyzing the Governor as a father.
	__________________ HEY, SONY: Thank you for Benson, Season 2! Now can we get started on Season 3 plans?

07-02-2009, 11:30 PM	#6
Scoobiedoo30 Member Forum Superstar Join Date: Jun 27, 2002 Location: KENNER, LOUISIANA Posts: 27,654	that is a great post
	__________________ Who Dat

07-07-2009, 08:04 PM	#12
blink Member Forum Regular Join Date: Apr 17, 2004 Location: Texarkana AR. Posts: 950	Sorry, I don't remember if I read it on the internet or in an old print article, I've been a fan of Missy and Tracey for so long that it's all starting to get foggy now. In Tracey's bio she described her family as being very close and her mother as being strict but loving. My guess would be that Missy was kidding around and it was just something that subconsciously slipped out. I wouldn't read too much into it, you know how kids always wish their parent's weren't so strict. "Room To Grow" is available on EBay. Search Tracey Gold + Books.
	Last edited by blink; 07-07-2009 at 08:21 PM.

07-02-2009, 05:09 PM	#3
JRDM Member Occasional Poster Join Date: May 23, 2007 Posts: 88	Thanks BensonFan. I identified so much with Gene in that episode. I felt his pain. He had a quality that made you just want to take care of him and comfort him. He was easy to love and respect. Since my situation is very similar, I want to make a total about face when I have kids just like Gene did. Also, I loved Gene's relationship with Katie. I wish mine had been that way with my father. No such luck. My father was too much like Gene's father. However, my father, unlike Gene's, put on a front in public so I suffered a lot in silence. I may be dumb to be inspired so much by a fictional character, but some of the Benson episodes were very true to life. That was a great thing about Benson. The show reflected real life on so many levels.

07-02-2009, 05:30 PM	#4
JRDM Member Occasional Poster Join Date: May 23, 2007 Posts: 88	Sorry to keep replying to my own post, but I wanted to add that it always catches my attention when parents apologize to their children for something. I liked the way Gene apologized to Katie in "Trust Me" for getting upset with her that morning and confining her to the house. My father NEVER apologized to me for anything, and he did far worse things than that. Gene really didn't even have a reason to apologize to Katie anyway. She was driving him nuts and wouldn't stop. Anyway, I guess he felt bad. I bet his father never apologized to him. I would like to know Gene's reaction when Katie admitted to him that she had disobeyed him and not only left the house but had gone to the KISS concert. Any father would have been mad about that. I'm not sure if he punished her though. Also, I liked how Gene handled Katie being upset with Benson when Benson had to fire Miss Ellie. He didn't go up there and start in yelling at her for getting mad at Benson. Instead, he talked to her calmly and softly. However, he was very much to the point and wouldn't let her interrupt him. He got the point across effectively. If I had done that my father would have come to my room yelling and screaming. He would have been embarrassed and mad at me for embarrassing him. He would NOT have understood my feelings. Gene knew Katie was hurting. She was a kid and didn't understand why Miss Ellie had to be fired. Gene explained it and helped her understand it better and made her see that Benson was not at fault.

07-03-2009, 06:46 PM	#7
blink Member Forum Regular Join Date: Apr 17, 2004 Location: Texarkana AR. Posts: 950	When I say successful people are often the product of domineering parents, I don't want to sound like I'm taking up for Gene's father, after all the man was defiantly abusive but it's possible that Gene's success may have been due in part to his father's misguided motivational tactics. Sadly, some parents believe that criticism actually motivates children, when this happens the child either continually tries to live up to the parent's expectations or they just give up and take a path of their own, either way emotional scars may be left behind. We'll never know if Gene's father was one of those misguided parents who thought belittling his children would somehow motivate them or just a very bitter individual who thought nothing was ever good enough, I'll go with the latter. One thing's for sure, despite all of it, Gene was an all-around success and the writers really hit it out of the ballpark on the episode "Old Man Gatling", it had just the right balance of humor and emotion, defiantly a lost art in today's world of trashy and pointless sitcoms. As far as James Noble as a father in real life, I once read somewhere that Missy Gold was guite fond of him, she even jokingly said she thought of petitioning to see if she could have the Noble's adopt her. I presume she was joking!

07-07-2009, 11:42 AM	#9
catlover79 God Bless Val Forum Addict Join Date: May 29, 2006 Location: Bewitched in Ohio Posts: 70,376	According to Tracey Gold's memoir, Room To Grow, the girls were adopted by their stepfather at a very young age. Their father up and left the family when Tracey and Missy were very little, and to my knowledge hasn't been in the picture since. They loved Harry Gold right from the beginning, and he always treated the girls like his own. Harry and Bonnie (the girls' mom) went on to have three more daughters.

07-14-2009, 05:30 PM	#13
teen-machine Banned Banned!! Occasional Poster Join Date: Jul 06, 2009 Posts: 10	Gene did NOT improve from his own father. Gene spanked his daughter just like his father spanked him and she was hurt for life.