Wednesday's Quotes & a Honeymooners July 4th:

[Frank Gannucci]

(The Kramdens & Nortons are on the beach in Coney Island, New York.)

Trixie: "Alice, where did our boys go?"

Alice: "They said that they are bringing a big surprise for us since we are going to watch the fireworks from here."

Trixie: "This will be good."

Ralph (yelling loudly to the point he is startling other beachgoers): "HERE WE ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRE!"

(The girls have a shocked look on their faces when they see Ralph & Ed push a bar-b-q grill onto the beach.)

Alice: "Ralph, you are not allowed to bring that onto this beach."

Ralph: "Of course we are. This is our beach too. I brought all the food with the grill and I got some fireworks right here that I plan to shoot."

Ed: "He got them on the street. Some guy gave him a great deal."

Alice: "Ralph, we are going to get kicked off this beach."

Ralph: "Don't be so paranoid Alice. I know what I am doing. After all, how many times have I misfired fireworks?"

Alice: "ALL the time."

(Ed laughs.)

Ralph (yells): "SHUT UP NORTON!"

Alice: "Ralph, if you fire those fireworks and we get in trouble, the life you save might be your own."

Ralph: "Oh, don't frighten me. My only wish is that we were celebrating with these fireworks at Miami Beach."

(Audience cheers.)

Harvey (in the distance, yells): "HEY KRAMDEN! WHY DIDN'T YOU ENTER THE HOT DOG EATING CONTEST. YOU WOULD HAVE WON EASILY. HA HA HA HA."

(Ed laughs.)

Ralph: "You say one more word like that to me Norton and UP you go."

(Later on, Macys is launching their fireworks.)

Ralph (yells): "OKAY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, TIME TO LAUNCH THIE FIREWORKS."

(Ralph launches the fireworks, they catch the attention of the police officers.)

Policeman: "Hey sir."

(He sees the fireworks.)

Policeman: "Sir, those fireworks are illegal and it is also illegal to have this grill out here. Are these your friends?"

Ralph: "Haminahamina."

Harvey (in the distance, yells): "YES, THEY ARE. I AM NOT."

Policeman: "You are all going to the station with me."

Alice: "Ralph."

Ralph: "Don't you give me those 'I told you so''s Alice."

Ed: "Ralph, this is one plan that went up in smoke."

Ralph (yells): "SHUT UP NORTON!"

Harvey (in the distance, yells and sings): "NA-NA-NA-NA/NA-NA-NA-NA/HEY-HEY/GOOD-BYE."

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "How sweet it is."

(Audience cheers.)

Jackie: "Folks, I want to wish everyone a happy July 4th especially to the U.S. Service people in the front row."

(Audience cheers.)

Jackie: "Folks, Jean Kean."

(Audience cheers as Jean comes out and greets Jackie.)

Jackie: "Audrey Meadows."

(Audience cheers as Audrey comes out and kisses Jackie.)

Jackie: "Art Carney."

(Audience cheers as Art comes out and greets Jackie.)

Jackie: "This is the World's Greatest Country and as usual the Miami Beach audiences are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)

"Flushing Ho":

Ralph: "Do you know what it like Alice to own a home? You can walk outside, pick up some dirt and say: 'This is all mine.'"

Alice: "I can go out in the hallway right now and do the same thing."

"Stars Over Flatbush":

Ralph: "Let's face it Alice. You are the fat of the land."

Alice: "Let's face it Ralph. You ARE the fat of the land."

"Teamwork Beats The Clock":

Ralph: "As usual, I am carrying the whole laod on my shoulders."

Alice: "You are carrying the laod all right but it's not on your shoulders."

"Young Man With A Horn":

Ralph: "I am making a list of all my weak points."

Ed: "Oh, is that all the paper you are going to use?"

"Young At Heart":

Ed: "As time wore on, I grew older. I matured."

Ralph: "Yeah, now you are a full-grown nut."

"Songwriters":

Ralph: "I wear the pants around this house."

Alice: "Belive me, those pants would fit around this house."

"Dial J For Janitor":

Ralph: "One hand washes the other while both hands wash the face."

Ed: "Never mind that. Just give me some water. I know how to wash."

"We Spy":

Ralph: "When you are in a foreign country, you are supposed to act like a tourist and not a native."

Alice: "In Brooklyn, I live like a native."

"You're In he Picutre":

Alice: "You cut yourself this morning and now you are starting to bleed?"

Ed: "Well, with the way Ralph is built, it takes a long time for his blood to reach the surface."