Monday's Quotes: - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frank Gannucci · 06-29-2009, 10:29 PM

"A Promotion Part 2":

Ralph: "A derrick couldn't get me out of this chair."

Alice: "A good big one might be able to."

"A Man's Pride":

(Ralph is trying to tell Bill Davis that he has a VERY IMPORTANT job.)

Ralph: "I am in the transportation business."

Bill Davis: "What do you do?"

Ralph: "Oh, I run things."

Bill: "You run things?"

Ed: "Yeah, everyday he's in the driver's seat."

"Alice & The Blonde":

Rita: "Do you have any nicknames that you like to call your husband?"

Alice: "Oh, I got several I love to call him."

Rita: "All you have to do is pick your husband's outstanding feature and find a name that fits."

Alice: "Oh, I see." (to Ralph): "Isn't that a good idea Tubby?"

"The Safety Award":

Ed: "Someone thought about putting a plaque on Ralph's bus saying: 'You are on the bus of the World's Safest Bus Driver: Ralph Kramden.'"

Alice: "Oh, a plaque like that. Ed, you can tell me. Who thought of that idea?"

Ed: "Ralph."

"Finders Keepers":

Ralph: "I'll get the $300 Alice. I'll get it if I have to sell everything in this house."

Alice: "Fine. But, what are you going to do about the other $280?"

"Ralph's Sweet Tooth":

Alice: "I read in a magazine once that 50% of a toothache is mental. 50% of the pain of that toothache is here (the mouth). The other 50% is in here (the head.)
Ralph: "For you information, 100% of it is here (the mouth.) There is nothing up there (the head.)"

"Follow The Boys":

Ed (reading): "'Four-letter word for place of dwelling.' I got that one. House: H-o-s-e. That is the trouble with these puzzles. They are not challenging."

Alice: "Yeah, they are easy. Easy: E-z-y."

"Follow The Boys":

Ralph: "I have to go bowling. I am the anchorman."

Alice: "Of what, the Queen Mary?"

"Flushing Ho":

(Ralph is looking for apaper with his social security # on it.)

Ralph: "I think I found it. Here it is: 56-68-73."

Alice: "Those are the measurements for that new suit you bought."

"Follow The Boys":

Ed (reading): "'Four-letter word for place of dwelling.' I got that one. House: H-o-s-e. That is the trouble with these puzzles. They are not challenging."

Alice: "Yeah, they are easy. Easy: E-z-y."

"Follow The Boys":

Ralph: "I have to go bowling. I am the anchorman."

Alice: "Of what, the Queen Mary?"

"Flushing Ho":

(Ralph is looking for a paper with his social security # on it.)

Ralph: "I think I found it. Here it is: 56-68-73."

Alice: "Those are the measurements for that new suit you bought."

06-29-2009, 10:29 PM	#1
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,042	Monday's Quotes: "A Promotion Part 2": Ralph: "A derrick couldn't get me out of this chair." Alice: "A good big one might be able to." "A Man's Pride": (Ralph is trying to tell Bill Davis that he has a VERY IMPORTANT job.) Ralph: "I am in the transportation business." Bill Davis: "What do you do?" Ralph: "Oh, I run things." Bill: "You run things?" Ed: "Yeah, everyday he's in the driver's seat." "Alice & The Blonde": Rita: "Do you have any nicknames that you like to call your husband?" Alice: "Oh, I got several I love to call him." Rita: "All you have to do is pick your husband's outstanding feature and find a name that fits." Alice: "Oh, I see." (to Ralph): "Isn't that a good idea Tubby?" "The Safety Award": Ed: "Someone thought about putting a plaque on Ralph's bus saying: 'You are on the bus of the World's Safest Bus Driver: Ralph Kramden.'" Alice: "Oh, a plaque like that. Ed, you can tell me. Who thought of that idea?" Ed: "Ralph." "Finders Keepers": Ralph: "I'll get the $300 Alice. I'll get it if I have to sell everything in this house." Alice: "Fine. But, what are you going to do about the other $280?" "Ralph's Sweet Tooth": Alice: "I read in a magazine once that 50% of a toothache is mental. 50% of the pain of that toothache is here (the mouth). The other 50% is in here (the head.) Ralph: "For you information, 100% of it is here (the mouth.) There is nothing up there (the head.)" "Follow The Boys": Ed (reading): "'Four-letter word for place of dwelling.' I got that one. House: H-o-s-e. That is the trouble with these puzzles. They are not challenging." Alice: "Yeah, they are easy. Easy: E-z-y." "Follow The Boys": Ralph: "I have to go bowling. I am the anchorman." Alice: "Of what, the Queen Mary?" "Flushing Ho": (Ralph is looking for apaper with his social security # on it.) Ralph: "I think I found it. Here it is: 56-68-73." Alice: "Those are the measurements for that new suit you bought." "Follow The Boys": Ed (reading): "'Four-letter word for place of dwelling.' I got that one. House: H-o-s-e. That is the trouble with these puzzles. They are not challenging." Alice: "Yeah, they are easy. Easy: E-z-y." "Follow The Boys": Ralph: "I have to go bowling. I am the anchorman." Alice: "Of what, the Queen Mary?" "Flushing Ho": (Ralph is looking for a paper with his social security # on it.) Ralph: "I think I found it. Here it is: 56-68-73." Alice: "Those are the measurements for that new suit you bought."