Friday's Quotes: - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frank Gannucci · 06-19-2009, 09:23 AM

"Ralph's Sweet Tooth":

(After Ralph's idea to get the tooth out fails [him and Ed tied one side of a string on a doorknob and the other end on his tooth and they slammed the door shut only to have the doorknob come out], Ralph has a doorknob hanging out of his mouth.)

Ed: "I got an idea. We tie one side of a string on your tooth and the other side to the end of the car, I put the car in drive and vroom! Out goes the tooth."

Ralph: "You are an idiot!"

Ed (yells): "Maybe I am but I don't have a doorknob hanging out of my mouth."

"The Next Champ":

Mr. Amrstrong: "Is this (Ed Norton) you're fighter?"

Ralph: "No, he just looks punch-drunk."

"Ralph Kramden Presents":

(Ralph tries to get Art Carney's autograph for Alice.)

Art: "What's the name?"

Ralph: "My name is Ralph Kramden, but she knows that."

"Two Faces of Ralph Kramden":

(Nick and another guy offer Ralph a job and $600 before he starts it.)

Ralph: "$600, I don't know what to do first."

Ed: "I do."

Ralph: "What is that?"

Ed: "I wouldn't tell Trixie."

"Norton Moves In":

(Ralph and Norton are sharing the cot. Ed is having a cigarette.)

Ed: "Ralph, I dropped the match in the bed. Ralph?"

Ralph: "Nee na miz."

Ralph (feeling the lit match, yells): "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!"

"Nephew of The Bride":

Alice: "Aunt Ethel is only staying for a couple of days."

Ralph: "Yeah, those days are Decoration Day, fourth of July and Groundhogs Day."

"Alice & The Blonde":

Ralph: "It just so happens that the Raccoon Lodge is going through a
financial crisis. And I'm the Treasurer Alice, I'm responsible. If I don't get some money into that treasury you know what might happen? The Bensonhurst chapter of the Raccoon Lodge may no longer be! Do you know what that means?"

Alice: "Yeah, real estate values in Bensonhurst will go up 100%."

"Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Mind Your Own Business"):

Trixie: "Ed, that's very encouraging that you sold to your last costumer. Maybe after talking to all those people, you found the right thing to say. Did you remember what you said to that last costumer?"

Ed: "Sure I do. I said: 'Mama, you just got to buy this iron.'"

"The Babysitter":

Ralph: "That phone is for you-you-you."

(The phone rings.)

Alice: "Hello?" (poking Ralph with the receiver): "It's for you-you-you."

06-19-2009, 09:23 AM	#1
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,041	Friday's Quotes: "Ralph's Sweet Tooth": (After Ralph's idea to get the tooth out fails [him and Ed tied one side of a string on a doorknob and the other end on his tooth and they slammed the door shut only to have the doorknob come out], Ralph has a doorknob hanging out of his mouth.) Ed: "I got an idea. We tie one side of a string on your tooth and the other side to the end of the car, I put the car in drive and vroom! Out goes the tooth." Ralph: "You are an idiot!" Ed (yells): "Maybe I am but I don't have a doorknob hanging out of my mouth." "The Next Champ": Mr. Amrstrong: "Is this (Ed Norton) you're fighter?" Ralph: "No, he just looks punch-drunk." "Ralph Kramden Presents": (Ralph tries to get Art Carney's autograph for Alice.) Art: "What's the name?" Ralph: "My name is Ralph Kramden, but she knows that." "Two Faces of Ralph Kramden": (Nick and another guy offer Ralph a job and $600 before he starts it.) Ralph: "$600, I don't know what to do first." Ed: "I do." Ralph: "What is that?" Ed: "I wouldn't tell Trixie." "Norton Moves In": (Ralph and Norton are sharing the cot. Ed is having a cigarette.) Ed: "Ralph, I dropped the match in the bed. Ralph?" Ralph: "Nee na miz." Ralph (feeling the lit match, yells): "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!" "Nephew of The Bride": Alice: "Aunt Ethel is only staying for a couple of days." Ralph: "Yeah, those days are Decoration Day, fourth of July and Groundhogs Day." "Alice & The Blonde": Ralph: "It just so happens that the Raccoon Lodge is going through a financial crisis. And I'm the Treasurer Alice, I'm responsible. If I don't get some money into that treasury you know what might happen? The Bensonhurst chapter of the Raccoon Lodge may no longer be! Do you know what that means?" Alice: "Yeah, real estate values in Bensonhurst will go up 100%." "Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Mind Your Own Business"): Trixie: "Ed, that's very encouraging that you sold to your last costumer. Maybe after talking to all those people, you found the right thing to say. Did you remember what you said to that last costumer?" Ed: "Sure I do. I said: 'Mama, you just got to buy this iron.'" "The Babysitter": Ralph: "That phone is for you-you-you." (The phone rings.) Alice: "Hello?" (poking Ralph with the receiver): "It's for you-you-you."