Saturday's Quotes: - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frank Gannucci · 06-06-2009, 09:20 AM

"Please Leave The Premises":

(Ralph & Alice are fighting the rent increase by doing without heat, gas, water & electricity. Alice wants to leave.)

Ralph: "I'm the General. What I say goes."

Alice: "Than you better say Alice because I am going."

"Man From Space":

Ralph: "You are not up on the latest developments."

Alice: "I'm not? Who is it that lets your pants out every week?"

"A Weighty Problem Part 2":

(Alice gives Ralph some celery sticks.)

Alice: "How do you like your supper Ralph?"

Ralph: "My supper? You mean to tell me that that was my supper? What are these things (knife & fork) for, to commit suicide with?"

"A Weighty Problem Part 1":

Ralph: "Look me over. Now describe my build to me."

Ed: "Well, if I were to describe your build I would sya that you have well-developed muscles, got good bone structure, fine frame...and the whole thing is covered with fat."

"Hero Part 1":

(Ralph opens a can of turpinetine. Tommy is amazed.)

Tommy: "That proves that I am right."

Ralph: "Right about what?"

Tommy: "Well, I say that it is all muscle. But, all my friends say that you are a big load of fat."

"Without Reservations":

(Everyone is in their uniforms. Ed's bellhop uniform is too tight.)

Ralph: "Are there any questions?"

Ed: "Yes, how do I get out of this chicken outfit?"

"Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Mind Your Own Business"):

Trixie: "Ed, that is very encouraging that you sold to your last customer. Maybe after talking to all those people, you finally hit on the right approach. Now, do you remember what you said?"

Ed: "Sure. I said: `Mama, you just go to buy this iron.'"

"Life Upon The Wicked Stage":

(Ralph is dressed up as a hola girl. Trixie is dressed up as a sailor. They are rehearsing for a talent contest. Ralph comes in.)

Ralph: "What are you doing and who is he?"

Alice: "That's Trixie."

Ralph (to Trixie): "All right. What are you doing and who is she (Alice)?"

"Life Upon The Wicked Stage":

Alice: "My mother had an offer to appear in silent pictures but she turned that down."

Ralph: "For your information, the reason why she did that was because she couldn't keep silent."

06-06-2009, 09:20 AM	#1
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,041	Saturday's Quotes: "Please Leave The Premises": (Ralph & Alice are fighting the rent increase by doing without heat, gas, water & electricity. Alice wants to leave.) Ralph: "I'm the General. What I say goes." Alice: "Than you better say Alice because I am going." "Man From Space": Ralph: "You are not up on the latest developments." Alice: "I'm not? Who is it that lets your pants out every week?" "A Weighty Problem Part 2": (Alice gives Ralph some celery sticks.) Alice: "How do you like your supper Ralph?" Ralph: "My supper? You mean to tell me that that was my supper? What are these things (knife & fork) for, to commit suicide with?" "A Weighty Problem Part 1": Ralph: "Look me over. Now describe my build to me." Ed: "Well, if I were to describe your build I would sya that you have well-developed muscles, got good bone structure, fine frame...and the whole thing is covered with fat." "Hero Part 1": (Ralph opens a can of turpinetine. Tommy is amazed.) Tommy: "That proves that I am right." Ralph: "Right about what?" Tommy: "Well, I say that it is all muscle. But, all my friends say that you are a big load of fat." "Without Reservations": (Everyone is in their uniforms. Ed's bellhop uniform is too tight.) Ralph: "Are there any questions?" Ed: "Yes, how do I get out of this chicken outfit?" "Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Mind Your Own Business"): Trixie: "Ed, that is very encouraging that you sold to your last customer. Maybe after talking to all those people, you finally hit on the right approach. Now, do you remember what you said?" Ed: "Sure. I said: `Mama, you just go to buy this iron.'" "Life Upon The Wicked Stage": (Ralph is dressed up as a hola girl. Trixie is dressed up as a sailor. They are rehearsing for a talent contest. Ralph comes in.) Ralph: "What are you doing and who is he?" Alice: "That's Trixie." Ralph (to Trixie): "All right. What are you doing and who is she (Alice)?" "Life Upon The Wicked Stage": Alice: "My mother had an offer to appear in silent pictures but she turned that down." Ralph: "For your information, the reason why she did that was because she couldn't keep silent."