Sunday's Quotes: - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frank Gannucci · 05-31-2009, 10:01 AM

"Oh My Aching Back":

(Ed puts a lit match near the thermometer.)

Ed: 'Hey Ralph, what is a normal temperature, around 98 isn't it?"

Ralph: "98.6."

Ed: "What would you say a bad temperature is?"

Ralph: "102. 103. What is it Norton? What is my temperature?"

(A pause.)

Ralph (yells): "WHAT IS MY TEMPERATURE NORTON?"

Ed (starting to cry, yells): "111."

"Quiz Show":

Ed: "I was on a quiz show once. I was so nervous, that I couldn't answer the first question."

Ralph: "What question was that?"

Ed: "My name."

"The New Manager":

Ralph: "I know. We will take the Nortons on our honeymoon."

Trixie: "Ralph, you don't want us on your honeymoon."

Ed: "Will you keep quiet woman?"

"Head of The House":

Ed: "In my household, I am the boss of the household."

Interviewer: "Mmm-hmm."

Ed: "I think that any man that is afraid of his wife, isn't a man."

Interviewer: "Mmm-hmmm."

Ed: "And I can't stree this too strongly that a husband is the boss."

Interviewer: "Yes?"

Ed: "Now don't quote me because if my wife reads that, she will kill me."

"Teamwork Beats The Clock":

Ed: "I watch your show. It's very educational."

Bud Collyer (as himself): "Educational?"

Ed: "Yeah, it's a wonder what you could do with whipped cream on this
show."

"Life Upon The Wicked Stage":

Ralph & Ed (singing loudly): "WELL, STROLLING THROUGH THE PARK ONE DAY IN THE MERRY, MERRY MONTH OF MAY. I WAS TAKEN BY SURPRISE BY A
PAIR OF RUGGISH EYES..."

Garrity (from upstairs, yells): "WILL YOU TWO KEEP IT QUIET DOWN THERE? I'M TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP."

Ralph: "That's that wise guy Garrity."

(Ralph goes to the window and opens it.)

Ralph (yells): "AREN'T YOU HOME EARLY GARRITY? WHAT HAPPENED, DID THE
SALOON BURN DOWN?"

"A Little Man Who Wasn't There Part 1":

Ralph: "I got news for you Alice. Your husband is crazy."

Alice: "Okay. So what's the big news?"

"Game Called On Account of Marriage":

Ed: "Why don't you take Stanley and Sally to your apartment to see how you and Alice get along?"

Ralph: "I want to postpone the wedding. Not cancel it forever."

"Poor People of Paris":

Ralph: "If I were you, I wouldn't go out in May."

Ed: "Why?"

Ralph: "Because that is when they gather nuts."

05-31-2009, 10:01 AM	#1
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,041	Sunday's Quotes: "Oh My Aching Back": (Ed puts a lit match near the thermometer.) Ed: 'Hey Ralph, what is a normal temperature, around 98 isn't it?" Ralph: "98.6." Ed: "What would you say a bad temperature is?" Ralph: "102. 103. What is it Norton? What is my temperature?" (A pause.) Ralph (yells): "WHAT IS MY TEMPERATURE NORTON?" Ed (starting to cry, yells): "111." "Quiz Show": Ed: "I was on a quiz show once. I was so nervous, that I couldn't answer the first question." Ralph: "What question was that?" Ed: "My name." "The New Manager": Ralph: "I know. We will take the Nortons on our honeymoon." Trixie: "Ralph, you don't want us on your honeymoon." Ed: "Will you keep quiet woman?" "Head of The House": Ed: "In my household, I am the boss of the household." Interviewer: "Mmm-hmm." Ed: "I think that any man that is afraid of his wife, isn't a man." Interviewer: "Mmm-hmmm." Ed: "And I can't stree this too strongly that a husband is the boss." Interviewer: "Yes?" Ed: "Now don't quote me because if my wife reads that, she will kill me." "Teamwork Beats The Clock": Ed: "I watch your show. It's very educational." Bud Collyer (as himself): "Educational?" Ed: "Yeah, it's a wonder what you could do with whipped cream on this show." "Life Upon The Wicked Stage": Ralph & Ed (singing loudly): "WELL, STROLLING THROUGH THE PARK ONE DAY IN THE MERRY, MERRY MONTH OF MAY. I WAS TAKEN BY SURPRISE BY A PAIR OF RUGGISH EYES..." Garrity (from upstairs, yells): "WILL YOU TWO KEEP IT QUIET DOWN THERE? I'M TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP." Ralph: "That's that wise guy Garrity." (Ralph goes to the window and opens it.) Ralph (yells): "AREN'T YOU HOME EARLY GARRITY? WHAT HAPPENED, DID THE SALOON BURN DOWN?" "A Little Man Who Wasn't There Part 1": Ralph: "I got news for you Alice. Your husband is crazy." Alice: "Okay. So what's the big news?" "Game Called On Account of Marriage": Ed: "Why don't you take Stanley and Sally to your apartment to see how you and Alice get along?" Ralph: "I want to postpone the wedding. Not cancel it forever." "Poor People of Paris": Ralph: "If I were you, I wouldn't go out in May." Ed: "Why?" Ralph: "Because that is when they gather nuts."