Things to do in a movie theater

[Cactus Jack]

1. Inform the entire theatre that you have to go to the bathroom. Wait a minute or so and tell everyone that you feel better now.

2. Applaud.

3. Laugh loudly during serious and sad scenes.

4. Sing along with the backround music.

5. Whenever someone opens a door yell "Don't go in there, he's got a gun!"

6. Snore.

7. Yell "Hey, down in front!" even if you are sitting in the front.

8. Make shadow puppets.

9. If you've seen the movie before, say what's going to happen right before it happens. Act amazed at your wonderful foresight.

10. Walk around behind the screen. Jump through it. Run like hell.

11. Pull out a squirt gun and shoot the "bad guys." Tell people that you are a part of this new "live action" movie. Squirt any movie personnel telling you to stop.

12. Read the credits out loud.

13. Dress as a cheerleader. Keep the actors' enthusiasm up.

14. Stand by the screen and sign the movie.

15. Rip off one end of a straw wrapper and blow in the straw. The wrapper will fly across the theatre, hopefully hitting someone.

16. (Variation of above) Dip the wrapper end in ketchup. This will make it a permanent part of the screen.

17. If it's a Disney film, go up to the projector room and replace the film with an adult film.

18. Talk loudly to a friend. Whenever someone else makes the slightest noise, tell them they are inconsiderate little bastards for disrupting your viewing pleasure.

19. Put Ex-Lax in the drinks. Lock all the doors.

20. Say "beep" loudly at every vulgarity. Tell those objecting that you are from the EPA here to stop noise pollution.

21. Throw Runts at people so you can use the drive by fruiting joke.

22. Sacrifice small furry creatures in the front of the theatre.

23. Sit by the aisle. Trip everyone that walks by.

24. Walk in front of the screen, fall, and lay there for a few minutes. Then get up and go back to your seat as if nothing happened. Do it again every ten minutes.

25. Play an appropriate instrument for the movie:
western=banjo, comedy=cazoo, action=synthesizer or guitar, mystery=bad whistle, etc.

26. Say the lines with the movie, in Swahili.

27. Collect donations for charity.

28. Bring a portable T.V. Watch the ball game. Cheer loudly.

29. Aerosol can. Zippo. 'nuff said.

30. Throw paper airplanes. Anounce their take off like air traffic control personnel.

31. Candle + flashpaper = fireballs!

32. Yell "Ow!" after every gunshot.

33. Stand on your head in the aisle during the duration of the movie.

34. Have a barbecue.

35. Gargle your soft drink.

36. Juggle.

37. Bowl in the isle.

38. Throw smoke grenades.

39. Play Battleship with someone accross the theatre.

40. Wear a trench coat and sunglasses. Whenever someone enters or exits the theatre ask to see their identification.

41. Do shots.

42. Eat a lot of beans or chili before the movie. Hope the theatre is crowded.

43. Leave death threats on various seats. Give sinister glances to people as they leave the theatre.

44. Break into a chorus of "I Will Survive" during climatic parts of the movie.

45. Do some needlepoint. Suddenly yell "Ow! That hurt. Woah cool, it's spurting."

46. Find the light switch. Turn the lights on.

47. Throw water balloons.

48. Bring lots of gerbils and mice. Think snowball fight.

49. Have a friend call your beeper every 5 minutes. Make sure it's loud.

Annoying things

1. Sit in front of other people who are trying to watch the movie and kiss your significant other. If you don't have a significant other, kiss the person sitting beside you.

2. Wear a top hat.

3. Sing Zoot Suit Riot at the top of your lungs during the best part of the movie.

4. Sit behind a woman with long hair, and stick your bare feet in her hair.

5. Throw Milk Duds at the screen when something interesting is happening.

6. Go to a good movie you've already been to with some friends who have also already seen it, and then argue loudly about what is going to happen next.

7. Run up and down in the aisle and between the rows of seats, screaming that the movie sucks.

8. On your way to the bathroom, casually step on people's feet and spill their popcorn and soda until the floor is a sticky mess. On the way back, squeak your shoes in the soda and complain loudly that the theater is dirty.

9. If you're wearing platform shoes, stand up and start doing the wave.

10. Start singing Get Down Tonight if the actors passionately kiss.

11. If the actors only kiss on the cheek, start screaming and encouraging them to do more than that.

12. If there are gay characters in the movie, yell, "GAY, MACARENA! 2nd VERSE! SAME AS THE 1st! A LITTLE BIT LOUDER AND A WHOLE LOT WORSE!" Continue getting louder and worse until you are ejected from the theater. While you are being ejected, try to fight the theater security and tell them that you are Rodney King, and you represent the 1st Amendment.

13. Go to a Disney Movie and begin talking to yourself in a British or Australian accent while shooting at the movie screen. If people protest, scream, "What the hell?! Don't you support the NRA?"

14. Buy more food than you can carry and strategically drop it on the way to your seat.

15. Repeatedly throw up on the person sitting next to you.

16. If you're watching a horror movie, slowly pour your drink on the floor. Look at the people sitting next to you, then say, "Ah, what a relief! Scary movies always make me do that."

17. Jump about 3 feet in the air, then land on an inflated whoopie cushion. If people look at you strangely, complain that the popcorn gives you gas and nobody should eat it.

18. Bring a colicky baby to a silent film.

19. Go to a Spanish movie and make fun of the actors by feigning a Spanish accent and shouting, "¡Yo quiero Taco Bell!" If that doesn't bother anybody, yell, "¡Yo vivo en España! Los personas de Norté America son muy estupidos."

20.Start a fight with a stupid person who never knows when to finish what you want everyone else to think they started.

21. Curse as loudly as you can.

22. Go to an action movie in a trench coat. When the movie starts to get violent, start streaking the theater.

23. Bring a boom box and start playing Bittersweet Symphony during the previews for other movies.

[Hollow]

yell "HEY ERIC, IF YOU'RE IN HERE, WE'RE ALL GOING TO MARTY'S AFTER THE MOVIE" and see if anyone happens to catch the reference.

[Cactus Jack]

Sit by a guy that's laughing really loud and try to laugh louder


When a couple in front of you starts to display public displays of affection ask if they brought a condom


If you see a little kid that happens to be a boy in the theater for High School Musical/Hannah Montana/Jonas Bros. tell him this will screw any chances he has of picking up chicks if he doesn't keep it secret he was there

During a love scene if the music is boring, burst out into the chorus of "Cant Fight This Feeling" or "Let's Get It On" loudly, and see if the audience joins in

[browneyes106]

23. Bring a boom box and start playing Bittersweet Symphony during the previews for other movies.

Love this tip

[Cactus Jack]

Originally Posted by browneyes106

23. Bring a boom box and start playing Bittersweet Symphony during the previews for other movies.

Love this tip

Me too, chances are it will go witjh half the trailers in the theater LOL

[Sharop]

I am never going to the cinema with any of you guys!

[Cactus Jack]

Originally Posted by Sharop

I am never going to the cinema with any of you guys!

These are all from the internet LOL, the post of mine are the first reply is madeu p stuff though

[Sharop]

Originally Posted by Cactus Jack

These are all from the internet LOL, the post of mine are the first reply is madeu p stuff though

All the same...I think I'll play it safe and go by myself!

[MickeyMac]

As mentioned before making out is something two people can do in a theater, or go a little further. I've never done that, but I have heard stories.

[Cactus Jack]

Originally Posted by MickeyMac

As mentioned before making out is something two people can do in a theater, or go a little further. I've never done that, but I have heard stories.

Did you ask if they brought condoms?

[catlover79]

I worked in a movie theater for 6 1/2 years, and you have no idea how accurate (and scary) that list is.

[Cactus Jack]

Originally Posted by catlover79

I worked in a movie theater for 6 1/2 years, and you have no idea how accurate (and scary) that list is.

LOL so someone played Bittersweet Sympohny during trailers or asked a couple if they had a condom? LOL

[catlover79]

Originally Posted by Cactus Jack

LOL so someone played Bittersweet Sympohny during trailers or asked a couple if they had a condom? LOL

You should've seen the kind of stuff on the floors when we used to clean out each auditorium between shows.

[Chocoholic]

That's why I'm not allowed at the movies anymore!

[Cactus Jack]

Originally Posted by catlover79

You should've seen the kind of stuff on the floors when we used to clean out each auditorium between shows.

LOL I can imagine!


"That...is NOT MILK!"