Friday's Quotes: - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frank Gannucci · 05-15-2009, 01:57 PM

"Dial J For Janitor":

Ralph: "Why should I cut out bowling? It's my only relaxation. Besides, the exercise is good for me to keep down my weight."

Alice: "You don't need anything to keep your weight down. You need something to hold it up."

"Young At Heart":

Ed: "As time wore on, I grew older. I matured."

Ralph: "Yeah, now you are a full-grown nut."

"Hero Part 1":

Alice: "Let me ask you something Ralph. WHen was the last time you ever lifted 400 pounds?"

Ed: "This morning when he got out of bed."

"Expectant Father":

Ed: "My little kid grow up from a little guy. Education: Grammer school, high school, then on to college. When he gets out of college and is ready to face the world, I will get him a job with me in the sewer."

Ralph: "When your son graduates from college, you are going to get him a job in the sewer?"

Ed: "Certainly. The sewer accepts college grads."

"Something's Fishy":

Ralph: "When did you ever catch anything?"

Alice: 15 years ago. I caught 300 lbs. of blubber."

"The Babysitter":

Ralph: "Don't you realize that this is man's place of business? How would you feel if someone came down to where you worked at and helped himself to everything he saw?"

Ed: "Help himself to what?"

"Teamwork Beats The Clock":

Bud Collyer: "Have you lived in Brooklyn all your life?"

Ralph: "Not yet."

"The Honeymoon Is Over":

(Ed puts a beauty mark on Ralph's left cheek after the makeup put some makeup on Ralph's eyes and lipstick.)

Ralph: "What did you just do?"

Ed: "I put a beauty mark on your left cheek."

Ralph: "Why did you do that?"

Ed: "Without it, you look exactly like Barbara Streisand."

"The Honeymoon Is Over":

Ed: "Mike Douglas was down the sewer one time to present the USO Award."

Ralph: "USO Award?"

Ed: "Yeah United Sewerworkers Of."

Ralph: "Of what?"

Ed: "We don't know yet. No one will take us."

"Hawaii! Oh! Oh!":

(After Ralph threatens that him and Ed are going to jump out the hotel window if the wives don't give them the money, Ed accidentally falls out.)

Ed: "I forgot. We are on the ground floor."

Ralph: "You don't know how to fall correctly."

Ed: "I would if we were on the 15th floor."

05-15-2009, 01:57 PM	#1
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,064	Friday's Quotes: "Dial J For Janitor": Ralph: "Why should I cut out bowling? It's my only relaxation. Besides, the exercise is good for me to keep down my weight." Alice: "You don't need anything to keep your weight down. You need something to hold it up." "Young At Heart": Ed: "As time wore on, I grew older. I matured." Ralph: "Yeah, now you are a full-grown nut." "Hero Part 1": Alice: "Let me ask you something Ralph. WHen was the last time you ever lifted 400 pounds?" Ed: "This morning when he got out of bed." "Expectant Father": Ed: "My little kid grow up from a little guy. Education: Grammer school, high school, then on to college. When he gets out of college and is ready to face the world, I will get him a job with me in the sewer." Ralph: "When your son graduates from college, you are going to get him a job in the sewer?" Ed: "Certainly. The sewer accepts college grads." "Something's Fishy": Ralph: "When did you ever catch anything?" Alice: 15 years ago. I caught 300 lbs. of blubber." "The Babysitter": Ralph: "Don't you realize that this is man's place of business? How would you feel if someone came down to where you worked at and helped himself to everything he saw?" Ed: "Help himself to what?" "Teamwork Beats The Clock": Bud Collyer: "Have you lived in Brooklyn all your life?" Ralph: "Not yet." "The Honeymoon Is Over": (Ed puts a beauty mark on Ralph's left cheek after the makeup put some makeup on Ralph's eyes and lipstick.) Ralph: "What did you just do?" Ed: "I put a beauty mark on your left cheek." Ralph: "Why did you do that?" Ed: "Without it, you look exactly like Barbara Streisand." "The Honeymoon Is Over": Ed: "Mike Douglas was down the sewer one time to present the USO Award." Ralph: "USO Award?" Ed: "Yeah United Sewerworkers Of." Ralph: "Of what?" Ed: "We don't know yet. No one will take us." "Hawaii! Oh! Oh!": (After Ralph threatens that him and Ed are going to jump out the hotel window if the wives don't give them the money, Ed accidentally falls out.) Ed: "I forgot. We are on the ground floor." Ralph: "You don't know how to fall correctly." Ed: "I would if we were on the 15th floor."