Tuesday's Quotes & Honeymooners TV Schedule (5/15-5/25): - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frank Gannucci · 05-12-2009, 10:16 PM

(AmericanLife TV):

(AmericanLife also has an OnDemand Service. This show might be one of the shows to watch.)

TV-G

All times are Eastern.

Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Shelia MacRae as Alice Kramden. Jean Kean as Trixie Norton.

Fri. May 15 10p & Sat. May 16, 2009 12a #14 (aka #167) – “Life Upon The Wicked Stage”:*Ralph pairs up with Ed and Alice pairs up with Trixie to enter a talent contest. Alice and Trixie win first place and Alice uses her winnings to buy Ralph the expensive fishing gear he's had his eyes on.

Fri. May 22 10p & Sat. May 23, 2009 12a #15 (aka #168) – “Rafitii, Brooklyn Style”: Ralph tries to score points with his boss by collecting money from the drivers at the depot and buying the boss' daughter an elegant watch as a wedding present. Alice and her mother discover the watch and since it's Alice's birthday, jump to the wrong conclusion. Ralph stages a phony holdup to get the watch back but is thwarted when a real crook overhears his scheme.

(WPIX) & (WPIXD) [aka New York feed of CWHD]:

Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Audrey Meadows as Alice Kramden. Joyce Randolph as Trixie Norton.

Mon. May 18, 2009 1a #014 (aka #105) - "The Man From Space": Intending to take home first prize at the Raccoon Lodge's costume ball, Ralph---unable to wangle a loan from Norton---puts together his own costume and dubs himself "The Man From Space" in a memorable episode that was originally telecast Dec. 31, 1955. Angry with Norton (who's going as the Frenchman who "built the sewers of Paris") and obsessed with winning, Ralph appropriates an assortment of household items---including a faucet, a pot, a radio tube and the icebox door---to create a costume that will, he says, make Norton's rented outfit look like "a piece of French cheesecloth." The episode contains a classic example of Jackie Gleason's gift for ad-libbing when, unexpectedly; a piece of Ralph's costume falls off. "Let me have that," he improvises to Alice. "That's my denaturizer."

1:30a (CC) #74 (aka #71) - *“Brother-in-Law”: When Ralph's brother in law wants to borrow money to buy a hotel, Ralph says no; instead he schemes to buy the hotel himself.

Mon. May 25, 2009 1a (CC) #46 (aka #84) - *“Stars Over Flatbush”: Norton convinces Ralph that astrology will help him predict how to get a raise, and Ralph lets the stars rule his life.

1:30a (CC) #95 (aka #56) - *“Move Uptown”: Ralph and Alice plan to move but must sublet their old apartment first. When they can't find a new tenant, Ralph tries to break the lease.

(WGN America) (Not WGN's Chicago feed):

Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Audrey Meadows as Alice Kramden. Joyce Randolph as Trixie Norton.

All episodes on WGN America are in CC.

Sun. May 17, 2009 9p #007 (aka #098) - "Better Living Through TV": In a classic episode, Ralph and Norton g o on live TV in an attempt to sell the Handy Housewife Helper. The inspired (and ad-lib laden) "Better Living Through TV" (originally telecast Nov. 12, 1955) finds Ralph talking Norton into buying TV time so the two of them can go on the air and sell 2000 of the kitchen gadgets. The idea is for "Chef of the Future" Ralph to demonstrate to "Chef of the Past" Norton the many things the gizmo can do, such as open cans, remove corns and, of course, "core a apple." In the rehearsal, Ralph is the picture of calm, but as they prepare to go on the air, panic sets in and he warns a worrisome Ed: "Stop talking like that, nervous, you're going to get yourself all Norton." CLASSIC QUOTE - "Can it core a apple?"

9:30p #008 (aka #099) - "Pal O' Mine": A great friendship is strained after a ring t hat Norton had planned to give a co-worker winds up stuck on Ralph's finger. The episode concludes with a classic hospital scene that contains a memorable one-word ad-lib by Norton, who's saying good-bye to a doctor. Teddy Oberman: Ned Glass. Doctor: John Seymour. Nurse: Abbie Lewis. (
*
Sun. May 24, 2009 9p #009 (aka #100) - "Brother Ralph": A layoff at the bus company prompts Ralph and Alice to add up their total savings from all of their accounts ($12.83). That's reason enough for Alice to get a job, leaving Ralph to take care of the cooking and cleaning. But Ralph becomes really steamed after he discovers that her boss looks like a matinee idol---and that Alice told him that Ralph is her brother.
*
9:30p #010 (aka #101) - "Hello Mom": Ralph and Alice Kramden (Jackie Gleason, Audrey Meadows) squabble over the impending arrival of Ralph's mother-in-law in this classic, and ultimately touching, episode. The king is told that his castle is soon to be invaded by Alice's mom. Ralph painfully remembers how his mother-in-law said at his wedding, "I'm not losing a daughter, I'm gaining a ton," and refuses to let her visit. But when Alice stands up to him and insists her mother's coming, Ralph decides to move in with the Nortons until the visit's over. Humor and poignancy meet in a conclusion that once again shows Alice, who sees beyond Ralph's insecurities, to be the bigger person

*: This episode has been edited HEAVILY.

Credit goes to sitcomsonline.com, John K's Book "To The Moon", tvland.com, the old honeymooners.net, wpix.com, wgnamerica.com and tvguide.com.

"Funny Money":

Ralph: "One of these days, you are going to push me too far."

Alice's Mom: "The only thing that can push you is a bulldozer."

"$99,000 Answer":

Herb Norris: "What is your wives name?"

Ralph: "Mrs. Kramden."

"On Stage":

Ed: "While I was in the Navy, I studied typing under the GI Bill and I happened to be the best in the class."

Ralph: "Why didn't you get a job in an office instead of owrking in the sewer?"

Ed: "I couldn't stand the thought of being cooped up in a stuffy office all day."

"Cottage For Sale Part 1":

"Mr. Mosby": "This cottage has features Mr. Kramden that compare favorably to your city home."

Ed: "If it has a door on the knob, it's way ahead."

"Cottage For Sale Part 1":

Ed: "Hey Ralph, the door is busted."

Alice: "Ed, this is a Dutch door."

Ed: "Boy, those Dutch people must be very short."

"Songwriters":

Ralph: "I wear the pants around this house."

Alice: "Believe me, those pants would fit around this house."

"You're In The Picture":

(The Kramdens & Nortons are in Spain. Alice wants to buy something.)

Ralph: "What do you think I am, made of posadas?"

Alice: "I said posadas. Not potatoes."

"Movies Are Better Than Ever":

(It's Ed's birthday and Ralph wants to get off cheaply.)

Alice: "Ed took you to the Kit Kat Klub on your birthday."

Ralph: 'Did I ask him?"

Alice: "No, you suggested the Copa Cabana."

"Play It Again, Norton":

Ed: "Take it from the top Norton."

(Ed is sitting on the piano.)

Ralph (yells): "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

Ed (yells): "YOU TOLD ME TO TAKE IT FROM THE TOP."

05-12-2009, 10:16 PM	#1
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,067	Tuesday's Quotes & Honeymooners TV Schedule (5/15-5/25): (AmericanLife TV): (AmericanLife also has an OnDemand Service. This show might be one of the shows to watch.) TV-G All times are Eastern. Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Shelia MacRae as Alice Kramden. Jean Kean as Trixie Norton. Fri. May 15 10p & Sat. May 16, 2009 12a #14 (aka #167) – “Life Upon The Wicked Stage”:Ralph pairs up with Ed and Alice pairs up with Trixie to enter a talent contest. Alice and Trixie win first place and Alice uses her winnings to buy Ralph the expensive fishing gear he's had his eyes on. Fri. May 22 10p & Sat. May 23, 2009 12a #15 (aka #168) – “Rafitii, Brooklyn Style”: Ralph tries to score points with his boss by collecting money from the drivers at the depot and buying the boss' daughter an elegant watch as a wedding present. Alice and her mother discover the watch and since it's Alice's birthday, jump to the wrong conclusion. Ralph stages a phony holdup to get the watch back but is thwarted when a real crook overhears his scheme. (WPIX) & (WPIXD) [aka New York feed of CWHD]: Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Audrey Meadows as Alice Kramden. Joyce Randolph as Trixie Norton. Mon. May 18, 2009 1a #014 (aka #105) - "The Man From Space": Intending to take home first prize at the Raccoon Lodge's costume ball, Ralph---unable to wangle a loan from Norton---puts together his own costume and dubs himself "The Man From Space" in a memorable episode that was originally telecast Dec. 31, 1955. Angry with Norton (who's going as the Frenchman who "built the sewers of Paris") and obsessed with winning, Ralph appropriates an assortment of household items---including a faucet, a pot, a radio tube and the icebox door---to create a costume that will, he says, make Norton's rented outfit look like "a piece of French cheesecloth." The episode contains a classic example of Jackie Gleason's gift for ad-libbing when, unexpectedly; a piece of Ralph's costume falls off. "Let me have that," he improvises to Alice. "That's my denaturizer." 1:30a (CC) #74 (aka #71) - “Brother-in-Law”: When Ralph's brother in law wants to borrow money to buy a hotel, Ralph says no; instead he schemes to buy the hotel himself. Mon. May 25, 2009 1a (CC) #46 (aka #84) - “Stars Over Flatbush”: Norton convinces Ralph that astrology will help him predict how to get a raise, and Ralph lets the stars rule his life. 1:30a (CC) #95 (aka #56) - “Move Uptown”: Ralph and Alice plan to move but must sublet their old apartment first. When they can't find a new tenant, Ralph tries to break the lease. (WGN America) (Not WGN's Chicago feed): Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Audrey Meadows as Alice Kramden. Joyce Randolph as Trixie Norton. All episodes on WGN America are in CC. Sun. May 17, 2009 9p #007 (aka #098) - "Better Living Through TV": In a classic episode, Ralph and Norton g o on live TV in an attempt to sell the Handy Housewife Helper. The inspired (and ad-lib laden) "Better Living Through TV" (originally telecast Nov. 12, 1955) finds Ralph talking Norton into buying TV time so the two of them can go on the air and sell 2000 of the kitchen gadgets. The idea is for "Chef of the Future" Ralph to demonstrate to "Chef of the Past" Norton the many things the gizmo can do, such as open cans, remove corns and, of course, "core a apple." In the rehearsal, Ralph is the picture of calm, but as they prepare to go on the air, panic sets in and he warns a worrisome Ed: "Stop talking like that, nervous, you're going to get yourself all Norton." CLASSIC QUOTE - "Can it core a apple?" 9:30p #008 (aka #099) - "Pal O' Mine": A great friendship is strained after a ring t hat Norton had planned to give a co-worker winds up stuck on Ralph's finger. The episode concludes with a classic hospital scene that contains a memorable one-word ad-lib by Norton, who's saying good-bye to a doctor. Teddy Oberman: Ned Glass. Doctor: John Seymour. Nurse: Abbie Lewis. ( * Sun. May 24, 2009 9p #009 (aka #100) - "Brother Ralph": A layoff at the bus company prompts Ralph and Alice to add up their total savings from all of their accounts ($12.83). That's reason enough for Alice to get a job, leaving Ralph to take care of the cooking and cleaning. But Ralph becomes really steamed after he discovers that her boss looks like a matinee idol---and that Alice told him that Ralph is her brother. * 9:30p #010 (aka #101) - "Hello Mom": Ralph and Alice Kramden (Jackie Gleason, Audrey Meadows) squabble over the impending arrival of Ralph's mother-in-law in this classic, and ultimately touching, episode. The king is told that his castle is soon to be invaded by Alice's mom. Ralph painfully remembers how his mother-in-law said at his wedding, "I'm not losing a daughter, I'm gaining a ton," and refuses to let her visit. But when Alice stands up to him and insists her mother's coming, Ralph decides to move in with the Nortons until the visit's over. Humor and poignancy meet in a conclusion that once again shows Alice, who sees beyond Ralph's insecurities, to be the bigger person *: This episode has been edited HEAVILY. Credit goes to sitcomsonline.com, John K's Book "To The Moon", tvland.com, the old honeymooners.net, wpix.com, wgnamerica.com and tvguide.com. "Funny Money": Ralph: "One of these days, you are going to push me too far." Alice's Mom: "The only thing that can push you is a bulldozer." "$99,000 Answer": Herb Norris: "What is your wives name?" Ralph: "Mrs. Kramden." "On Stage": Ed: "While I was in the Navy, I studied typing under the GI Bill and I happened to be the best in the class." Ralph: "Why didn't you get a job in an office instead of owrking in the sewer?" Ed: "I couldn't stand the thought of being cooped up in a stuffy office all day." "Cottage For Sale Part 1": "Mr. Mosby": "This cottage has features Mr. Kramden that compare favorably to your city home." Ed: "If it has a door on the knob, it's way ahead." "Cottage For Sale Part 1": Ed: "Hey Ralph, the door is busted." Alice: "Ed, this is a Dutch door." Ed: "Boy, those Dutch people must be very short." "Songwriters": Ralph: "I wear the pants around this house." Alice: "Believe me, those pants would fit around this house." "You're In The Picture": (The Kramdens & Nortons are in Spain. Alice wants to buy something.) Ralph: "What do you think I am, made of posadas?" Alice: "I said posadas. Not potatoes." "Movies Are Better Than Ever": (It's Ed's birthday and Ralph wants to get off cheaply.) Alice: "Ed took you to the Kit Kat Klub on your birthday." Ralph: 'Did I ask him?" Alice: "No, you suggested the Copa Cabana." "Play It Again, Norton": Ed: "Take it from the top Norton." (Ed is sitting on the piano.) Ralph (yells): "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Ed (yells): "YOU TOLD ME TO TAKE IT FROM THE TOP."