Help!! Advice!!

[Waterston_Fan]

Hey.. I had Business 101 class I took over the fall and an ex-classmate of mine has called today and left a message.

It seems she is going in for a job interview and wanted me to confirm that she is going to school and that I did have her in my Business 101 class.

I don't want to be anybody's reference or even to confirm that she is going to school or any personal reference. I don't know if she's going to school, I'm not cause I messed up on the registration for the Spring classes by being too slow..

I have a feeling she might have given the job place my number but I need to call her back cause she wants me to..

If the job place calls, what do I tell them? I don't want her to not get the job because I didn't give her a good reference.

Truthfully, the former classmate is kinda annoying and I feel like she's rude but we all need a job.

Ideas as to what to say to her and the job place if they call?

[TripperFan]

As Jack Webb would say, "Just the facts Ma'am!"

I'd confirm that you did have her in your past Bus 101 class, but because you were late in registering yourself, you can't confirm if she'll be continuing the class this Spring. If the company wants to confirm her current registration, then they'll have to contact the school directly.

No one should be expected to lie when giving a reference, and if she does expect that, then she's not your friend anyway - she's just using people she think she can manipulate.

And I think it's pretty cool of you to be worrying over someone you're not overly fond of anyway because of people needing work. You're a good person - don't let others change that in you.

[Waterston_Fan]

Originally Posted by TripperFan

As Jack Webb would say, "Just the facts Ma'am!"

I'd confirm that you did have her in your past Bus 101 class, but because you were late in registering yourself, you can't confirm if she'll be continuing the class this Spring. If the company wants to confirm her current registration, then they'll have to contact the school directly.

No one should be expected to lie when giving a reference, and if she does expect that, then she's not your friend anyway - she's just using people she think she can manipulate.

And I think it's pretty cool of you to be worrying over someone you're not overly fond of anyway because of people needing work. You're a good person - don't let others change that in you.

It sounded like on the answering machine she was expecting me to tell them that she is going to school.

But what if they ask me what is she like? Or if they ask me, is she a hard worker?

I don't even know when the job interview is either but maybe they can tell what kind of person she really is by just talking to her. (Which I'm hoping anyway.)

What should I say if they ask me about her and stuff?

Could I say that I don't know much about her to answer your question even though she was in my class. (I don't know if I want to mention tutor part though even though she, I and two other classmates did have tutors the last 6 weeks of class.)

Thanks.

[Sharop]

How well do you know this person?

If you don't know her very well, then you should probably just tell the company that you're only acquaintances and you don't have a lot of knowledge about her.

[Waterston_Fan]

Originally Posted by Sharop

How well do you know this person?

If you don't know her very well, then you should probably just tell the company that you're only acquaintances and you don't have a lot of knowledge about her.

I really don't know her well other than she is annoying and seems to be the 'it's all about me' type person.

I like your suggestion to just tell them I don't have a lot of knowledge about her.

Could I also say to them that she was just my classmate last semester and really don't know too much about her?

[TripperFan]

^ Yup - that's exactly what I was going to advise you to do.

Think about it. You don't owe this person anything. You're not "friends" - just acquaintances. That makes me suspect a lot more about her and I already figured because of her asking you that she was "an all about me" person. I know the type well.

They ask someone who's an acquaintance because (1) they either have very few friends, or (2) they know they're not going to get a good reference from anyone else other than family!!!! lol

Even though she needs a job, so do a lot of good people out there. Let the best person win and if she can't give good references then there's a good reason for that. Would you want your name associated with that to the company? Who knows, down the road you may end up having a business connection to the same company and you don't want anyone remembering your name attached to hers. Why should you warp your morals for someone you barely know. Honesty is the best policy always in these cases. Just give direct answers to their questions, don't elaborate unless you're asked to and let the chips fall where they may. She'll never know whether you gave a good or bad reference (company's usually don't tell you who they contacted or if they contacted anyone unless you're hired anyway).

And actually, if she hasn't even had the interview yet, I wouldn't get your undies in a twist about it - references are only asked for JUST before they're ready to hire anyway and have it down to one or two candidates. She's no where near that point yet.

Oh and yah - just the fact that she just left you a message about it and didn't speak to you in person is classless in itself. Honestly, if it were me, I'd say f-you just for that - especially if you haven't really talked since school.

[Waterston_Fan]

Damn, she's braindead!! I swear.. I got so many words I want to use that I might get banned from here if I use it.

She already had the interview and I suggested that they can ask for a transcript from the school.

'No, they don't do that'.

So I really hope they don't call but I would think that they, the company could ask the school for a transcript or something like that.

[Doodyville10019]

I'd be direct and to the point.

"Yes, I know this girl, but only casually"

"Yes she was in Business 101 during the fall...I really don't know her that well, so I can't say with all honesty if she's continuing on with her studies"

"I really can't make that kind of a clear judgment with respect to her - we are only acquaintances. I honestly don't know her well enough to make a fair assessment of her skills/talent/personality".

And if she doesn't get the job it's NOT YOUR FAULT. Don't ever think that. Besides, I'm positive you are not the only reference she left at the door.

I still think that it's cool that you are even doing this for her. If it were me, I'd tell her "no way" straight up - "I don't know you that well", I'd tell her.

[Waterston_Fan]

Originally Posted by Doodyville10019

I'd be direct and to the point.

"Yes, I know this girl, but only casually"

"Yes she was in Business 101 during the fall...I really don't know her that well, so I can't say with all honesty if she's continuing on with her studies"

"I really can't make that kind of a clear judgment with respect to her - we are only acquaintances. I honestly don't know her well enough to make a fair assessment of her skills/talent/personality".

And if she doesn't get the job it's not YOUR fault. Don't ever think that. Besides, I'm positive you are not the only reference she left at the door.

I still think that it's cool that you are even doing this for her. If it were me, I'd tell her "no way" straight up - "I don't know you that well", I'd tell her.

But Doody, she already put me as a reference without asking me and already had the job interview.

I would have told her no if she had asked me first.

EDIT: Yeah, I guess you could say that I am willing to do this even though she didn't ask me first.

[Doodyville10019]

Originally Posted by Waterston_Fan

But Doody, she already put me as a reference without asking me and already had the job interview.

I would have told her no if she had asked me first.

EDIT: Yeah, I guess you could say that I am willing to do this even though she didn't ask me first.

I misunderstood. I apologize. But when (and if) the call comes in, I'd still suggest being honest, direct and to the point.

[Waterston_Fan]

Originally Posted by Doodyville10019

I misunderstood. I apologize. But when (and if) the call comes in, I'd still suggest being honest, direct and to the point.

Don't worry about it.

At the time I posted it, I didn't know if she had a job interview till after I called her.

She must think she did well in order to use me as a reference.

But I will do what you guys have suggested.

Thanks.

[browneyes106]

Originally Posted by TripperFan

As Jack Webb would say, "Just the facts Ma'am!"

I'd confirm that you did have her in your past Bus 101 class, but because you were late in registering yourself, you can't confirm if she'll be continuing the class this Spring. If the company wants to confirm her current registration, then they'll have to contact the school directly.

No one should be expected to lie when giving a reference, and if she does expect that, then she's not your friend anyway - she's just using people she think she can manipulate.

And I think it's pretty cool of you to be worrying over someone you're not overly fond of anyway because of people needing work. You're a good person - don't let others change that in you.

I agree just confirm she was in the fall class and answer any character questions about her.

[Brad Russ]

That's a real tough situation to be in, and any advice I give is just based on how I would handle it, and to be honest with you, I would just tell the truth. If they ask you question that may put her in a negative light, I would share it, and if they ask you a question that may put her in a positive light, I would share that too. I may be wrong, but I always feel like honesty is usually the best policy, and if this woman made you a referrance without your permission, then it's wrong for her to just expect you to praise her left and right. Like I said, I may be totally wrong here, but if they call you, I'd just answer honestly. Just my opinion, but others here have offered good advice as well, so you may want to take theirs.

[beautifuldreamer]

Originally Posted by Little Mel

That's a real tough situation to be in, and any advice I give is just based on how I would handle it, and to be honest with you, I would just tell the truth. If they ask you question that may put her in a negative light, I would share it, and if they ask you a question that may put her in a positive light, I would share that too. I may be wrong, but I always feel like honesty is usually the best policy, and if this woman made you a referrance without your permission, then it's wrong for her to just expect you to praise her left and right. Like I said, I may be totally wrong here, but if they call you, I'd just answer honestly. Just my opinion, but others here have offered good advice as well, so you may want to take theirs.