Tuesday's Quotes, Honeymooners TV Schedule & Ralph Kramden, a NY/NJ NHL fan? Part 10

[Frank Gannucci]

(Both the Washington Capitals and the Carolina Hurricanes won the Eastern Conference Quarterfinals 4 games to 3. The Washington Capitals beat the NY Rangers 2-1. The Carolina Hurricanes beat the NJ Devils 3-2.)

(Ralph & Ed come home. Ralph looks to be extremely upset.)

Alice: "I take it Ralph that both the Rangers and the Devils lost."

Ed: "I can't believe it."

Ralph: "Neither can I. How could the Rangers and Devils SQUANDER their leads? It is mind-boggling. I was hoping that they were going to face each other in the third round. Now, I owe that money that I bet to Joe Fenstablau. I am never going to hear the end of it from him. He's such a big mouth. Who has got a bigger mouth than him...DON'T YOU DARE SAY IT."

McGarrity (from upstairs, yells): "WHOOOPEE! THE RANGERS AND DEVILS LOST. HA HA. THE WASHINGTON CAPITALS ARE NOW SAYING: 'YES, WE CAN.'"

(Ralph goes to the window and sticks his head out.)

Ralph (yells): "MCGARRITY, THE CAPITALS WILL FAIL. THEY CAN'T WIN, LIKE YOU."

McGarrity (from upstairs, yells): "YOU WANT TO TAKE THIS OUTSIDE?"

Ralph (yells): "SURE, BIG MOUTH."

(Ralph & McGarrity go outside to fight while people go to restrain them. Ralph comes home with a black eye.)

Ralph (yells): "I GOT A BIIIIG MOUTH."

Ed: "Yes, you do."

Ralph (yells): "GEEEEEEEET OUT!"

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Folks, Audrey Meadows."

(The audience applauds as Audrey comes and kisses Jackie.)

Jackie: "Art Carney."

(The audience applauds as Art comes and shakes Jackie's hand.)

Jackie: "The Miami Beach audiences are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)

(AmericanLife TV):

(AmericanLife also has an OnDemand Service. This show might be one of the shows to watch.)

TV-G

All times are Eastern.

Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Shelia MacRae as Alice Kramden. Jean Kean as Trixie Norton.

Fri. May 1 10p & Sat. May 2, 2009 12a #11 (aka #163) - "King of the Castle": Back from Europe, Ralph advises Ed to stand up to Trixie -- and suddenly, Alice moves in with Trixie and Ed is living with Ralph.

Fri. May 8 10p & Sat. May 9, 2009 12a #12 (aka #164) – “Movies Are Better Than Ever”:*Ralph treats himself, Alice and the Nortons to the movies for Ed's birthday. Ed's ticket wins the door prize -- a color TV. Ralph declares war on Ed because he paid for the tickets and wants the TV. Eventually they take their case to court but reconcile after hearing Alice's testimony.

(WPIX) & (WPIXD):

Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Audrey Meadows as Alice Kramden. Joyce Randolph as Trixie Norton.

Mon. May 4, 2009 1:30a (CC) #54 (aka #45) - *“Letter to the Boss” ('53 version): Ralph mistakenly thinks a he's been fired and, with Norton's help, writes a nasty letter to his boss. After mailing the letter, Ralph finds out he's been promoted and schemes to get the letter back. CLASSIC QUOTE -"Homina, homina, homina"

Mon. May 11, 2009 1:30a (also showing Sun. May 3, 2009 at 9:30p on WGN America) #004 (aka #095) - "A Woman's Work Is Never Done": Tired of Ralph's complaints about household chores not being done, Alice convinces him to hire a maid. But the new domestic is rapidly getting fed up taking orders from Norton and Ralph, or as she calls them, "the simp and the blimp." Thelma: Betty Garde. Wilson: Frank Marth.

(WGN America) (Not WGN's Chicago feed):

Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Audrey Meadows as Alice Kramden. Joyce Randolph as Trixie Norton.

All episodes on WGN America are in CC.

Sun. May 3, 2009 9p #002 (aka #093) - "Funny Money": Ralph finds a suitcase filled with money, enough, Norton says, to "keep him in pizza for the rest of his life." There's one slight problem: the money is counterfeit, and the gangsters who printed it want it back. Alice's Mother: Ethel Owen. Boss: Boris Aplon. Ziggy: Frank Marth.

Sun. May 10, 2009 9p #005 (aka #096) *- "A Matter of Life & Death": Ralph gets the idea in his head that he has six months to live, so he decides to sell his story to a magazine. But when he learns it's all a mistake and that he can be prosecuted for fraud, he enlists Norton to pose as a doctor ("don't touch me, I'm sterile") who can cure him of the dreaded "arterial monochromia." Publisher: George Petrie.

9:30p #006 (aka #097) - "The Sleepwalker": Norton's sleepwalking becomes a waking nightmare for=2 0Ralph, who can't get any sleep because he's been asked to keep his pal from wandering off on late-night strolls around the neighborhood. Doctor: George Petrie.

"Move Uptown":

Ed: "I would like to have a toast."

Ralph: "You know that is awfully nice of you Norton. I would like to have a toast with you."

Ed: "Good. Got any wine around the house?"

"Move Uptown":

(Ed looks at the peep hole.)

Ed: "What is this used for?"

Ralph: "Oh, that is in case someone knocks on the door and you don't want to let him in like a delivery boy or somebody?"

Ed: "The only thing that you can deliver through that thing is a salami."

"Game Called On Account of Marriage":

Ralph (yellis angerly): "I AM GOING TO THE BALL GAME AND THAT'S THAT."

Alice: "And they say all fat men are jolly."

"Young At Heart":

Ralph: "This isn't a crazy costume. This is what all of us cats wear. I got it. I got it. I'm hip! Ready to go! I'm gone! Gone!"

Alice: "You're gone all right."

"Young At Heart":

Ralph: "What does icky mean?"

Ed: "I don't know. Why?"

Ralph: "Alice just said that I was icky."

Ed: "Must mean fat."

"Young Man With A Horn":

Alice: "Do you know that this morning Ralph insisted on making the beds?"

Trixie: "That is wonderful."

Alice: "What's wonderful is that he got me up at 5am so he could make them."

"Movies Are Better Than Ever":

Ralph: "This poolroom ain't big enough for you and I."

Ed: "This poolroom ain't big enough for you and anybody."

"Out of Sight, Out of Mind":

Doctor: "I notice that you have a slight limp. Is that disability permanent?"

Ralph: "No, it isn't. I got it this morning. I hit myself with a hammer."

Doctor: "You hit yourself with a hammer?"

Ralph: "Don't get the wrong idea. Ed hit my leg with the hammer."

"Without Reservations":

(Everyone is in the broken-down hotel.)

Ralph: "We can knock down those cobwebs."

Alice: "I wouldn't do that Ralph. They are holding up the wall."

Credit goes to sitcomsonline.com, John K's Book "To The Moon", tvland.com, the old honeymooners.net, wpix.com, wgnamerica.com and tvguide.com.

[Frank Gannucci]

Sorry for the errors that I made in regards to ALN's schedule. Here is what is showing for this weekend:

Fri. May 8 10p & Sat. May 9, 2009 12a #13 (aka #166) – “Without Reservations”: Ralph's brother-in-law Stanley persua des Ralph and Ed into buying a strategically located hotel along the route of a proposed highway. The highway ends up bypassing the hotel, putting Ralph and Ed out of business but money in Stanley's pocket since he's a construction worker on the new highway.