Saturday's Quotes & Ralph Kramden, a NY/NJ NHL fan? (Part 3)

[Frank Gannucci]

(The NY Rangers beat the Washington Capitals 1 - 0.)

(Ralph & Ed watched the game in the poolroom.)

Ralph: “Those Rangers are on a roll. Look at those disappointed Capitals fans. The Rangers will have an edge in game 3 because now the series comes home. He he he.”

Ed: “There is no place like home. The Capitals will have a hard time winning at MSG. The Rangers have waited 15 years to get a Cup.”

Ralph: “Yes, 15 LONG years. I hope the Devils meet them in the third round. I would love for one of them getting the Cup.”

Harvey (walking by): “Looks like you are at it again, huh Kramden? You will be disappointed again. I think that both teams will lose by it's time for the third round.”

Ralph: “If they don't Harvey, I will eat your hat.”

Ed: “He will eat anything.”

Ralph (yells): “SHUT UP!”

Harvey: “Oh, you will huh? If they get to the third round, I will eat your HAT.”

Ed: “That is a BIG hat.”

Ralph (yells): “SHUT UP!” (to Harvey): “The bet is on and you will lose because I am not afraid to back it up. If you don't live up to your end of the deal, I will beat you up.”

Harvey: “Every time you fight me, you run away. It's a miracle that you don't get a heart attack.”

Ed: “Ha ha ha ha ha.”

Ralph (yells): “GET OUT! GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET OUT!”

(Ed leaves.)

Ralph: “I will back up my promise Harvey. Wait and see.”

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: “Thank you. How sweet it is. Art Carney.”

(Audience applauds as Art Carney comes by and shakes Jack's hand.)

Jackie Gleason: “GOOD NIGHT!”

(Audience cheers.)

"Ralph Kramden Inc.":

Ralph: "Are you sure that that suitcase can hold $40,000,000. Why don't you cut pieces of paper into the shape of dollars bills and find out?"

(Ed opens up his case to reveal that he did just that.)

Ed: "Small details."

"Young Man With A Horn":

Ralph: "I am writing down a list of all my weak points."

Ed: "Oh, is that all the paper you are going to use?"

"Dial J For Janitor":

Ralph: "Why should I cut out bowling? It's my only relaxation. Besides, the exercise is good for me to keep down my weight."

Alice: "You don't need something to keep your weight down. You need something to hold it up."

"Letter To The Boss":

Ed: "I know what you should do your boss after he fires you."

Ralph: "What?"

Ed: "Write him another nasty letter."

"Letter To The Boss":

Ed: "I got a solution to open up that mailbox. Dynamite."

Ralph: "What is it?"

Ed: "That is waht I said. Dynamite."

"The People's Choice" & "Finger Man":

Ed: "My Uncle's place in New Jersey. Bullets will never find you there."

Ralph: "He won't."

Ed: "Of course not. I have been down there three Sundays in a row. I can't even find the place myself."

"Sleepy Time Gal":

Ralph: "Norton, do you like the furniture here?"

Ed: "Yeah."

Ralph (to Alice): "There you are."

Ed: "Of course. I don't live here."

"Sleepy Time Gal":

(Ralph tries to butter up Alice.)

Ralph: "Do you know how foolish I am going out every night when I have a beautiful wife at home?"

Ed: "At least I got a good excuse."

"Be It Ever So Humble":

(The gang is in the broken-down home.)

Ed: "How long is this lease for?"

Ralph: "The usual."

Ed: "How long is that?"

Ralph "99 years."

Ed: "99 years?"

Ralph: "Yes, 99 years. That's what America gets from Great Britian when they do that lend-lease stuff."

Ed: "Yeah, but this place isn't exactly Bermuda."