Thursday's Quotes & Honeymooners TV Schedule (4/5-4/13):

[Frank Gannucci]

(AmericanLife TV):

(AmericanLife also has an OnDemand Service. This show might be one of the shows to watch.)

TV-G

All times are Eastern.

Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Shelia MacRae as Alice Kramden. Jean Kean as Trixie Norton.

Fri. April 10 2009 10p & Sat. April 11, 2009 12a #8 (aka #161) - "We Spy": Ralph and Ed wander onto a Russian firing range while visiting Germany and are mistaken for spies. (5774/11590)

(WPIX) & (WPIXD):

Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Audrey Meadows as Alice Kramden. Joyce Randolph as Trixie Norton.

Mon. April 6, 2009 1:30p #009 (aka #100) - "Brother Ralph": A layoff at the bus company prompts Ralph and Alice to add up their total savings from all of their accounts ($12.83). That's reason enough for Alice to get a job, leaving Ralph to take care of the cooking and cleaning. But Ralph becomes really steamed after he discovers that her boss looks like a matinée idol---and that Alice told him that Ralph is her brother. (WPIX: 45148. WPXD: 42490.)

Mon. April 13, 2009 #45 (aka #80) (CC) - *“The Great Jewel Robbery”: Ralph collects money at the bus company to buy a wedding present for the boss' daughter, but Alice thinks the gift is for her. (WPIX: 61684. WPIXD: 77684)

(WGN America) (Not WGN's Chicago feed):

Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Audrey Meadows as Alice Kramden. Joyce Randolph as Trixie Norton.

All episodes on WGN America are in CC.

Sun. April 5, 2009 12a #108 (aka #52/#59) – “‘Lawsuit’/‘What’s The Name’”: (For “Lawsuit”): Ralph threatens to sue when he breaks his leg in a bus accident. (For “W.T.N.”): The Kramdens and Ed Norton argue about the name of a movie star. (939056 or 25698)

9p #106 (aka #86) – “A Weighty Problem (Part One)”: Ralph has to take a physical for the bus company and is informed that he has to diet or he would fail the physical and lose his job. (681747 or 3495)

9:30p #107 – “A Weighty Problem (Part Two)”: Ralph is going crazy on his diet but manages to lose enough weight so he can pass the physical and still be a bus driver. (770105 or 66747)

Sun. April 12, 2009 12a #40 (aka #64) - *“Ralph's Sweet Tooth”: When Ralph is invited to appear in a candy bar commercial, he refuses to let a bad toothache interfere. (290164 or 64724)

9p #41 (aka #65) - *“Game Called On Account of Marriage”: Ralph gets tickets to a World Series game, but the game falls on the same day as Alice's sister's wedding. (975183 or 3251)

9:30p #42 (aka #69) - *“Battle of the Sexes”: When Ralph and Ed decide to show their wives who's boss, Alice and Trixie fight back, leaving the guys to survive on their own. (150819 or 48893)

The second VCR Plus Code is from the National Listings section of TV Guide.com.

Credit goes to wpix.com, wgnamerica.com, tvguide.com, tvland.com & the old honeymooners.net.

"Ralph Kramden, Hero At Large":

(The crooks are in the apartment. Ralph picks up a water pistol.)

Ralph (yells): "ALL RIGHT! STICK 'EM UP! GET 'EM UP!"

(The crooks get their arms up. Knock on door.)

Ralph (yells): "WHO IS IT?"

Tommy (from outside): "It's me Tommy. Do you have my water pistol in there?"

"Safety Award":

Ed: "Can I wear this hankerchef?"

Ralph: "It's one of my new ones. Remember, it's for showing, not blowing."

"Boys & Girls Together":

Alice (hugging Ralph): "Maye it's better with the lights on so that way I can see my big handsome man."

(Alice kisses Ralph.)

Ralph: "Have you been at that beer?"

"Stars Over Flatbush":

Ed (reading an astrology book): "Taurus the Bull shows wisodm in all money manners and is attractive to the opposite sex."

Ralph: "That's me all right."

"Two Men On A Horse":

Ed: "We Racoons do a lot of things for this communitty."

Alice: "Name one."

Ed: "Last year, we planted a bush in the park."

"King of The Castle":

(Trixie kicked Ed out.)

Ralph: "I don't know what went wrong. I told you to say to her that you are the king of your castle."

Ed: "I knew my part. Trixie didn't know hers."

"You're In The Picture":

(The man is holding a picture of Ralph and a girl kissing. If Alice found out, she would get mad.)

Man: "You give me $500 so you can have this picture or I will give it to your wife."

Ed: "Don't take the money. Let Alice have the picture than you can get it from her for nothing."

"Out of Sight, Out of Mind":

Ralph: "Can you take a hint?"

Ed: "Yes."

Ralph: "All right." (yells): "I HATE YOU! HATE YOU! HATE YOU! NOW GET OUT!"

Ed: "Okay. What's the hint?"

"Ralph Kramden, Hero At Large" (aka "Trapped"):

Ralph: "You are the only man that can turn my stomach upside-down."

Ed: "There isn't a man in this city that is strong enough to do that."