Wednesday's Quotes: - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frank Gannucci · 03-25-2009, 02:59 PM

"The Sleepwalker":

Ralph: "All right Weisenhemimer. I am now going to put the key in a place which even if you know that it was there, you wouldn't be able to get it. I am going to put it under my pillow. Now, you will have to lift me up bodily in order to get the key."

Ed: "I got to hand it to you Ralph. You came up with something even Dick Tracy couldn't solve."

"Game Called On Account of Marriage":

Ralph: "Grogan, if you had two tickets to a World Series game and your sister-in-law was going to get married at the same time as the game, where would you go?"

Grogan: "I would go to the wedding."

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT!"

"Stars Over Flatbush":

(Ralph is trying to scratch an itch on his back by rubbing his back on the ice box. Ed comes in.)

Ed: "What do you say there Taurus?"

Ralph: "I was trying to scratch an itch that I couldn't reach."

Ed: "Oh, for a minute there I thought you were practicing the ol' Shake, Rattle & Roll."

"Mama Loves Mambo":

Ralph: "You mean that fter taking one look at that Carlos, you are going to give him Trixie's potato salad?"

Ed: "Of course. This will fix his wagon. Before I started eating Trixie's cooking, I was a regular Clark Gable."

"Vacation At Fred's Landing":

Ralph: "Just for that remark Alice, when we get to Fred's Landing, I won't introduce you to Fred."

Alice: "From this blow, I may never recover."

"Norton Moves In" (Color version):

(Ralph gets hurt by Norton's lit cigarette that Norton accidently dropped.)

Alice: "What happened?"

Ralph (yells): "NORTON WANTED TO HAVE A CIGARETTE."

Alice: "So?"

Ralph (yells): "HE USED ME FOR AN ASHTRAY."

"Movies Are Better Than Ever":

Alice: "How could you even think of going to the movies when Ed took you to the Kit Kat Club on your birthday?"

Ralph: "Did I ask him to take me there? Did I ask him?"

Alice: "No, you suggested going to the Copa."

"Young Man With A Horn":

Ralph: "I don't remember the song I used to play on this cornette. I got the music right here."

(Ralph plays the cornette. No sound is heard.)

Alice: "Not so loud Ralph. You will disturb the neighbors."

"Ralph Kramden Presents":

(Jackie Gleason is in the other room.)

Ed: "Why do you think everyone gave Jackie the nickname 'The Fat One'?"

Ralph: "That's 'The Great One.'"

03-25-2009, 02:59 PM	#1
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,043	Wednesday's Quotes: "The Sleepwalker": Ralph: "All right Weisenhemimer. I am now going to put the key in a place which even if you know that it was there, you wouldn't be able to get it. I am going to put it under my pillow. Now, you will have to lift me up bodily in order to get the key." Ed: "I got to hand it to you Ralph. You came up with something even Dick Tracy couldn't solve." "Game Called On Account of Marriage": Ralph: "Grogan, if you had two tickets to a World Series game and your sister-in-law was going to get married at the same time as the game, where would you go?" Grogan: "I would go to the wedding." Ralph (yells): "GET OUT!" "Stars Over Flatbush": (Ralph is trying to scratch an itch on his back by rubbing his back on the ice box. Ed comes in.) Ed: "What do you say there Taurus?" Ralph: "I was trying to scratch an itch that I couldn't reach." Ed: "Oh, for a minute there I thought you were practicing the ol' Shake, Rattle & Roll." "Mama Loves Mambo": Ralph: "You mean that fter taking one look at that Carlos, you are going to give him Trixie's potato salad?" Ed: "Of course. This will fix his wagon. Before I started eating Trixie's cooking, I was a regular Clark Gable." "Vacation At Fred's Landing": Ralph: "Just for that remark Alice, when we get to Fred's Landing, I won't introduce you to Fred." Alice: "From this blow, I may never recover." "Norton Moves In" (Color version): (Ralph gets hurt by Norton's lit cigarette that Norton accidently dropped.) Alice: "What happened?" Ralph (yells): "NORTON WANTED TO HAVE A CIGARETTE." Alice: "So?" Ralph (yells): "HE USED ME FOR AN ASHTRAY." "Movies Are Better Than Ever": Alice: "How could you even think of going to the movies when Ed took you to the Kit Kat Club on your birthday?" Ralph: "Did I ask him to take me there? Did I ask him?" Alice: "No, you suggested going to the Copa." "Young Man With A Horn": Ralph: "I don't remember the song I used to play on this cornette. I got the music right here." (Ralph plays the cornette. No sound is heard.) Alice: "Not so loud Ralph. You will disturb the neighbors." "Ralph Kramden Presents": (Jackie Gleason is in the other room.) Ed: "Why do you think everyone gave Jackie the nickname 'The Fat One'?" Ralph: "That's 'The Great One.'"