Mary Tyler Moore's Lifetime of Challenges

[Zoneboy]

Emmy Award-winner Mary Tyler Moore discusses the joys and pitfalls of fame and admits her personal regrets as a mother.

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Mary Tyler Moore swings open the door of her Greenwich, Conn., home, and I am suddenly greeted by her four dogs. Her laughter is a lovely counterpoint to the barking all around us and calms the canine brood. It calms me, too. This lightness is one of the secrets of her appeal. Another is her still-balletic carriage at age 72 as she walks to her favorite fireside chair for an afternoon chat.

Moore’s light touch has helped leaven a surprisingly difficult life. In her newest memoir, Growing Up Again, Moore chronicles her 40 years of living with type 1 diabetes. Proceeds from the book will go to the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation, of which she is the international chairman. “I’ve had the fame and the joy of getting laughter—those are gifts,” she tells me. “Now I want others to learn how I fell down and picked myself up.”

Moore also has been public about her alcoholism. She says she hasn’t had a drink since 1984. Her mother was an alcoholic and her father an emotionally distant man whose approval she never felt she achieved. She has been divorced twice. The original “cougar,” she has been married to her third husband, Dr. Robert Levine, for 25 years. He is 18 years her junior. In 1980, her only child—Richard Meeker Jr., from her first marriage—died at 24 from an accidental, self-inflicted gunshot wound.

We talk about all this and, as Moore stares into the fire, I ask if she has finally forgiven herself for not being...

“...a good mother?” she quietly finishes my question. “No, I haven’t. I still feel as if I weren’t a good enough mother. I didn’t break any rules. I didn’t cause my son any pain. But I did bring to my life some of my father, who was very controlling and very remote. I was working a lot. I wasn’t there enough.”

“Do you still want to work?” I ask.

She straightens in her chair. “Oh, God, yes,” says the seven-time Emmy-winning actress. “I love it. But when one looks at what’s happened to television, there are so few shows that interest me. I do watch a lot of Fox News. I like Charles Krauthammer and Bill O’Reilly.” Is Mary Tyler Moore a right-winger? “Maybe more of a libertarian centrist. If McCain had asked me to campaign for him, I would have.”

What about embryonic stem-cell research? The Republican Party is mostly against it, and yet some say it may help us find a cure for diabetes. How does she reconcile that?

“Certainly George Bush felt he had an obligation to his religion to say he was afraid of it,” Moore says. “But no fetus is involved. It’s much the same as a family who loses a child. Isn’t it a good thing to be able to give those organs to help someone?”

To lighten things up, I mention three great sex symbols she worked with: Elvis Presley, Robert Redford—and Ed Asner. Which one was most her type?

“I think maybe Elvis, because he went so against the grain,” Moore says. “The only leading man I ever had a crush on was James Garner.” She pauses. “And Frank Sinatra did come on to me once.” She was separated at the time from her second husband, Grant Tinker. “Frank had his assistant phone me and ask if I would take a call from him. I said, ‘Please, by all means.’ For two days, no call. Then, Grant and I were out having dinner and thinking about getting back together. Not two feet away from us sat Frank Sinatra. He came over to say hello. I never heard from him after that.

“The only other man who ever looked at me the way Frank did was—and don’t take this the wrong way—Pope John Paul II. Both men seemed to look into my soul and instantly know me.”

Moore stares into the fire again. “Quick,” I say to her. “Fill in the blank. Mary Tyler Moore is...”

“Trustworthy,” she answers. “Honest.” Her laughter—that lovely lightness of it—fills the room. “Unless I’m lying,” she says, smiling.

[catlover79]

Great article!! Mary has always been forthright about her flaws, but she uses them for good. She doesn't wallow in pity, but instead is upbeat and cheerful. I think we could all learn a lesson or two from her.

[OH Nuts!]

Yep. Just like the long from her signature shows title song "Who can turn the world on with a smile?" Mary Tyler Moore. It was nice reading this article as I've just come off watching all of Season 4. Thanks for sharing this great article Charles!

[PGood97041]

ya gotta love frank sinatra
even for him, MTM woulda been an incredible notch in the belt!

[SpunkiiMonkii7078]

Reading this just reinforced why I love Mary.