Monday's Quotes:

[Frank Gannucci]

"A Weighty Problem Part 1":

Ralph (knocking on door): "Got any mashed potatoes out there?"

(Door opens.)

Ralph: "I said do you have any mashed potatoes out there?"

Cook: "We don't even have anything else to throw away."

"Two Tickets To The Fight":

Ralph: "Throw a punch at me and I will duck."

(Ed throws a punch and hits Ralph.)

Ed: "Hey, that's some ducking Ralph. I can never hit you the second time."

"Mama Loves Mambo":

Ed: "Now listen Ralph, as long as we are neighbors, you don't have to call me Norton. Call me Edwardo."

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT!"

"Brother Ralph":

Alice: "Don't you trust me Ralph. Your my husband."

Ralph: "No, I'm your brother."

"Brother Ralph":

Alice: "Ralph, I told my boss that I am not married and that I live with my brother. So, when he gets here tonight, you are my brother."

(Ralph walks into the bedroom.)

Ralph (coming out, yells): "WHAT?"

"Cottage For Sale Part 2":

(The Kramdens and Nortons are in the lemon that is their cottage.)

Ralph: "What do you think is the first thing we should do here?"

Alice: "Burn it down."

"Lawsuit" (Color):

(Ralph is trying to stand on his bad leg while Ed is cracking walnuts.)

Ralph (yells): "I BROKE IT ALICE! I BROKE IT!"

Alice: "That was Ed cracking walnuts."

Ralph (to Ed, yells): "YOU ARE A MENTAL CASE."

"The Main Event":

(Ralph & Ed are sparing in front of Dynamite Moran.)

Ed: "Cover up your face Ralph! Cover your face! Cover your face!"

(Ralph covers his face. Ed hits him in the stomach.)

Ralph
(yells): "ARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGH...OOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! WHY DID YOU HIT ME IN THE STOMACH WHEN YOU TOLD ME TO COVER MY FACE?"

Ed (yells): "I WAS JUST TRYING TO TEACH DYNAMITE NOT TO TRUST ANYBODY IN THE RING."

"We Spy":

Trixie: "Ralph, why didn't you help Ed carrying the suitcases?"

Ralph: "Because I strained my back."

Alice: "How?"

Ralph: "When I put the suitcases in his arms."