Saturday's Quotes: - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frank Gannucci · 03-07-2009, 10:25 AM

"The Deciding Vote":

(Ralph turns on the vaccum cleaner. It doesn't work.)

Ed: "I think that motor needs a drop or erl."

Ralph: "Yeah, that is all that it needs. A drop of oil."

Alice: "A drop of oil? It wouldn't help if you dipped it in Texas."

"Ralph's Sweet Tooth":

Alice: "I read in a magazine once where they said 50% of the pain is mental. 50% of that toothache is here (in the mouth). The other 50% is here (head)."

Ralph: "For your information, 100% of it is in here (mouth). There is nothing up there (head)."

"Pal O' Mine":

Ralph: "Is there any lard around here?"

Alice: "Yeah, about 300 lbs. of it."

"Pal O' Mine":

(Ed just showed the ring that he is going to give to his boss, Jim McKeever.)

Alice: "Why didn't you get the store where you got this from to gift-wrap it for you?"

Ed: "Oh, they got some silly rule down there. 'No gift-wrapping for any purchase less than $3."

"Sleepy Time Gal":

(The boys come home.)

Ralph: "Shh! Alice is asleep."

Ed: "What?"

Ralph: "I said that Alice is asleep."

Ed: "I can't hear you."

Alice (from bedroom): "He said: 'Shh! Alice is asleep.'"

"The Hypnotist Part 1":

Ralph: "This furniture is good for me."

Alice: "Sure it is. But, just because you are a Raccoon doens't mean that I have to live in a hole in the ground."

"Peacemaker":

Ralph: "You know that when I lay down on that bed, it takes me an hour to get to sleep."

Alice: "Remarkable. Every night for fifty-nine minutes, you snore before you go to sleep."

"Flushing Ho":

(Ed comes out with a sailboat. Ralph wants to take a bath.)

Ralph: "You don't mean to tell me that you kept me waiting out here for 20 minutes while you were in there playing with a boat in the tub?"

Ed: "I'm sorry Ralph. This is a new boat. We were on the Shakedown Cruise!"

"Boy Next Door":

(Ralph and Mrs. Paterson think that Ed loves Alice but the feeling isn't matual.)

Mrs. Paterson: "Why don't you give your wife the benefit of a doubt?"

Ralph: "All right, maybe they don't love each other but if they do, they are going to have a lot of fun on the moon."

"Ship Of Fools":

(The photographer feels Alice's leg.)

Ralph (yells): "HEY! HEY! HEY!"

Alice: "All he wants is a little chesse cake."

Ralph: "Why doesn't he go to a deli then?"

03-07-2009, 10:25 AM	#1
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,064	Saturday's Quotes: "The Deciding Vote": (Ralph turns on the vaccum cleaner. It doesn't work.) Ed: "I think that motor needs a drop or erl." Ralph: "Yeah, that is all that it needs. A drop of oil." Alice: "A drop of oil? It wouldn't help if you dipped it in Texas." "Ralph's Sweet Tooth": Alice: "I read in a magazine once where they said 50% of the pain is mental. 50% of that toothache is here (in the mouth). The other 50% is here (head)." Ralph: "For your information, 100% of it is in here (mouth). There is nothing up there (head)." "Pal O' Mine": Ralph: "Is there any lard around here?" Alice: "Yeah, about 300 lbs. of it." "Pal O' Mine": (Ed just showed the ring that he is going to give to his boss, Jim McKeever.) Alice: "Why didn't you get the store where you got this from to gift-wrap it for you?" Ed: "Oh, they got some silly rule down there. 'No gift-wrapping for any purchase less than $3." "Sleepy Time Gal": (The boys come home.) Ralph: "Shh! Alice is asleep." Ed: "What?" Ralph: "I said that Alice is asleep." Ed: "I can't hear you." Alice (from bedroom): "He said: 'Shh! Alice is asleep.'" "The Hypnotist Part 1": Ralph: "This furniture is good for me." Alice: "Sure it is. But, just because you are a Raccoon doens't mean that I have to live in a hole in the ground." "Peacemaker": Ralph: "You know that when I lay down on that bed, it takes me an hour to get to sleep." Alice: "Remarkable. Every night for fifty-nine minutes, you snore before you go to sleep." "Flushing Ho": (Ed comes out with a sailboat. Ralph wants to take a bath.) Ralph: "You don't mean to tell me that you kept me waiting out here for 20 minutes while you were in there playing with a boat in the tub?" Ed: "I'm sorry Ralph. This is a new boat. We were on the Shakedown Cruise!" "Boy Next Door": (Ralph and Mrs. Paterson think that Ed loves Alice but the feeling isn't matual.) Mrs. Paterson: "Why don't you give your wife the benefit of a doubt?" Ralph: "All right, maybe they don't love each other but if they do, they are going to have a lot of fun on the moon." "Ship Of Fools": (The photographer feels Alice's leg.) Ralph (yells): "HEY! HEY! HEY!" Alice: "All he wants is a little chesse cake." Ralph: "Why doesn't he go to a deli then?"