Thursday's Quotes: - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frank Gannucci · 02-19-2009, 11:33 AM

"A Little Man Who Wasn't There Part 1":

Ralph: "I got news for you Alice. Your husband is crazy."

Alice: "Okay. So what's the big news?"

"The Loudspeaker":

Ralph: "Do you realize that at the annual clambake I have the honor of opening the first clam! And as we take our cruise up the Hudson River I get to go up to the bridge and steer - as we pass Raccoon Point."

Alice: "Well golly gee!"

"A Dog's Life":

Ralph: "Gee, I remember when I used to weigh 165. Did you see me when I weighed 165?"

Ed: "No Ralph. I never did see your baby pictures."

"Follow The Boys":

Ralph: "For one of a shoe, a horse was lost. For one of a horse, a battle was lost. For one of a battle, a war was lost. For one of a war...for one of a war...it was all lost."

Alice: "Yeah? Why don't you get lost?"

"Lost Baby":

(Ralph found a "baby" on his bus.)

Ed: "I still say that baby is John Wadamaker's (sp?) baby."

Ralph: "Are you crazy? John is a millionaire."

Ed: "You're right. If he was that rich, he would have left that baby in a taxi."

"Hair To A Fortune":

Ed: "Here's on bottle. H2O."

Ralph: "H2O. Oh, that is pronounced ho."

"Oh My Aching Back":

(Ed puts a lit match near the thermometer.)

Ed: 'Hey Ralph, what is a normal temperature, around 98 isn't it?"

Ralph: "98.6."

Ed: "What would you say a bad temperature is?"

Ralph: "102. 103. What is it Norton? What is my temperature?"

(A pause.)

Ralph (yells): "WHAT IS MY TEMPERATURE NORTON?"

Ed (starting to cry, yells): "111."

"Life Upon The Wicked Stage":

Ralph & Ed (singing loudly): "WELL, STROLLING THROUGH THE PARK ONE DAY IN THE MERRY, MERRY MONTH OF MAY. I WAS TAKEN BY SURPRISE BY A PAIR OF RUGGISH EYES..."

Garrity (from upstairs, yells): "WILL YOU TWO KEEP IT QUIET DOWN
THERE? I'M TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP."

Ralph: "That's that wise guy Garrity."

(Ralph goes to the window and opens it.)

Ralph (yells): "AREN'T YOU HOME EARLY GARRITY? WHAT HAPPENED, DID THE
SALOON BURN DOWN?"

Jellybeans":

Ralph: "I have always been lucky at contests. Remember last year at Harry's Grove when I won the clam eating contest?"

Alice (from bedroom): "Yeah?"

Ralph: "I got $5 from that. $5."

Alice (coming out of the bedroom): "You sure did and you spent $7 on Alka-Seltzer."

02-19-2009, 11:33 AM	#1
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,043	Thursday's Quotes: "A Little Man Who Wasn't There Part 1": Ralph: "I got news for you Alice. Your husband is crazy." Alice: "Okay. So what's the big news?" "The Loudspeaker": Ralph: "Do you realize that at the annual clambake I have the honor of opening the first clam! And as we take our cruise up the Hudson River I get to go up to the bridge and steer - as we pass Raccoon Point." Alice: "Well golly gee!" "A Dog's Life": Ralph: "Gee, I remember when I used to weigh 165. Did you see me when I weighed 165?" Ed: "No Ralph. I never did see your baby pictures." "Follow The Boys": Ralph: "For one of a shoe, a horse was lost. For one of a horse, a battle was lost. For one of a battle, a war was lost. For one of a war...for one of a war...it was all lost." Alice: "Yeah? Why don't you get lost?" "Lost Baby": (Ralph found a "baby" on his bus.) Ed: "I still say that baby is John Wadamaker's (sp?) baby." Ralph: "Are you crazy? John is a millionaire." Ed: "You're right. If he was that rich, he would have left that baby in a taxi." "Hair To A Fortune": Ed: "Here's on bottle. H2O." Ralph: "H2O. Oh, that is pronounced ho." "Oh My Aching Back": (Ed puts a lit match near the thermometer.) Ed: 'Hey Ralph, what is a normal temperature, around 98 isn't it?" Ralph: "98.6." Ed: "What would you say a bad temperature is?" Ralph: "102. 103. What is it Norton? What is my temperature?" (A pause.) Ralph (yells): "WHAT IS MY TEMPERATURE NORTON?" Ed (starting to cry, yells): "111." "Life Upon The Wicked Stage": Ralph & Ed (singing loudly): "WELL, STROLLING THROUGH THE PARK ONE DAY IN THE MERRY, MERRY MONTH OF MAY. I WAS TAKEN BY SURPRISE BY A PAIR OF RUGGISH EYES..." Garrity (from upstairs, yells): "WILL YOU TWO KEEP IT QUIET DOWN THERE? I'M TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP." Ralph: "That's that wise guy Garrity." (Ralph goes to the window and opens it.) Ralph (yells): "AREN'T YOU HOME EARLY GARRITY? WHAT HAPPENED, DID THE SALOON BURN DOWN?" Jellybeans": Ralph: "I have always been lucky at contests. Remember last year at Harry's Grove when I won the clam eating contest?" Alice (from bedroom): "Yeah?" Ralph: "I got $5 from that. $5." Alice (coming out of the bedroom): "You sure did and you spent $7 on Alka-Seltzer."