Friday's Quotes & a Honeymooners President's Day:

[Frank Gannucci]

(Ralph & Ed are shopping at Walmart to take advantage of the President's Day sales.)

Ed: "Look at thos refrigerators Ralph. They are so empty, I think I am going to cry."

Ralph: "Oh! Look at those pictures of Barack Obama. This is going to be his day. I wonder what Presidents do on President's Day."

Ed: "Celebrate I guess. With all the love he gets, a lot of people will wish him a happy Presidents Day especially if he revives our economy."

Ralph: "That is another reason why we are shopping here. I want to take advantage of the sales. I need a new bowling ball."

Ed: "I am a Simpsons fan. I need a Krusty The Clown book."

(Ralph rolls his eyes.)

Ralph: I wonder what our previous presidents like George Washington or Abe Lincoln are thinking of Barack. I bet they think a lot about him and they probably wish him a Happy Presidents Day. He could be a great role model."

Ed: "Yes, you are right. He can show presidents how to make jobs in this world. You know the sewers are laying off 200,000 people."

Ralph: "Yes and my bus company is laying off a lot of workers beside me."

Ed: "They can't lay you off Ralph. They can't even lift you up."

Ralph (yells): "OH, YOU ARE A RIOT NORTON!" (normally): "Well, we need to pay homage to our presidents past and presnet and what better way to do it by way of a holiday especially for Presidents who truly help our country and succeed."

(They sing a song about U.S. Presidents.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Come on out here Art. Take a bow."

(Audience applauds as Art comes out and shakes Jackie's hand, rasies his leg and then bows.)

Jackie: "As usual, the Miami Beach audiences are the BEST! Good night!"

(The crowd applauds.)


"Brother Ralph":

Ralph: "We have money in the bank, don't we?"

Alice: "Yeah, we have money in the bank. $3.31."

"TV or Not TV":

Ralph: "You are taking that TV set over my dead body."

Ed: "I can't do that. What do you think I am, a mountain climber?"

"A Weighty Problem Part 1":

Ralph: "Look me over. Now describe my build to me."

Ed: "Well, if I would I would say that you have very well-developed muscles. Got good bone structure. Very good bone structure. Fine frame...and the whole thing is covered with fat."

"Boys & Girls Together":

(Ralph comes home. The lights are out and Alice has a candlelight dinner ready.)

Alice: "Hello Ralph."

Ralph: "So, you forgot to pay the electric bill, huh?"

"Letter To The Boss":

Ralph: "Today, I'm fired. Tomorrow, I'm forgotten. They probably won't even know what I look like."

Ed: "That's okay. You go down there tomorrow and apply for another job."

"The Main Event":

(Alice is upset that Dynamite is staying with them.)

Ralph: "This guy holds the record for the quickest knockout."

Alice (getting ready to punch Ralph): "Get ready for a new record."

"Hawaii! Oh! Oh!":

Ralph (to Charlie): "I'm on a diet. I've gone from 220."

Ed: "That's his room number. He actually gone from 280."

"The Sleepwalker":

(Ed has been annoying Ralph while Ralph is trying to get some sleep.)

Ed: "Ralph, are you sure you don't want a kumpquat?"

Ralph (rolling over in bed, yells): "WILL YOU GET TO BED?"

"Mexican Hat Trick":

Ed: "La Cucaracha Shop. Is that the name of the boss?"

Swifty Jenkins: "No, it means The Cockroach Shop."