Sunday's Quotes:

[Frank Gannucci]

"Without Reservations":

Ralph: "Your brother is a moocher, a swindler, and a bum."

Alice: "What did you say?"

Ralph: "I said that your brother is a bum."

Alice: "My brother is just as good as any member of your family."

Ralph: "He's still a bum."

"Better Living Through TV":

Ralph: "Nobody is 100% Alice."

Alice: "You are. You have been wrong every time."

"Better Living Through TV":

Ralph: "How long do you think it would take one man if he sold all of these (Handy Housewife Helpers) if we went from door-to-door?"

Alice: "About one minute if this was the first door he knocked on."

"Two For The Money":

(Ralph just lost the money from the lodge.)

Ralph: "Let's not get panicky."

Alice: "Ralph, did you put the money in an envelope?"

Ralph: "See? Now you are getting panicky."

"Without Reservations":

Stanley: "Ralph, tell me. Are there any more openings at the bus depot?"

Ralph: "No."

Stanley: "Then how do you get in the building?"

"The Deciding Vote":

(Ralph looks at the vaccum cleaner.)

Ed: "I think that motor needs a drop of erl."

Ralph: "Yeah, that's all that it needs. A drop of oil."

Alice: "A drop of oil? It wouldn't help if you dipped it in Texas."

"Brother Ralph":

Alice: "Don't you trust me Ralph. You're my husband."

Ralph: "No, I'm your brother."

"Brother Ralph":

Ralph: "In the bottom drawer, there's only one pair of my pants. Why is only one pair of my pants in the bottom drawer?"

Alice: "Because that is all that will fit in there."

"Stars Over Flatbush":

Ed: "I was born under the sign of Pieces, the fish."

Ralph: "You were born under the sign of Pistachio, the nut."

"Stars Over Flatbush":

Ralph: "Since I found out that I'm Taurus the Bull, I have become a new man."

Alice: "You may be a new man but it's the same old bull."

"Principle of The Thing":

Ralph: "At last, I have a bathtub that I can be comfy in."

Alice: "What did you order, a round one?"