Stimulus package explained - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

lilhave · 02-06-2009, 03:13 PM

Sometime this year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:

"Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
"A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

"Q. Where will the government get this money?
"A. From taxpayers.

"Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
"A. No, they are borrowing it from China. Your children are expected to repay the Chinese.

"Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
"A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase an HDTV, thus stimulating the economy.

"Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
"A. #*#* ?

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
If you spend that money at Walmart, all the money will go to China.
If you spend it on gasoline it will go to Hugo Chavez, the Arabs, and Al Qaeda
If you purchase a computer it will go to Taiwan.
If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, Chile, and Guatemala.
If you buy a car it will go to Japan and Korea.
If you purchase prescription drugs it will go to India.
If you purchase heroin it will go to the Taliban in Afghanistan.
If you give it to a charitable cause, it will go to Nigeria.
And none of it will help the American economy.
We need to keep that money here in America. You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.

Harv ey

Jude The Obscure · 02-06-2009, 07:10 PM

^Nice humorous piece

MonarC · 02-06-2009, 10:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilhave

spend it on prostitutes,

Yeah do it like Charles Barkley get a good blow job to stimulate the economy.

Jude The Obscure · 02-06-2009, 11:03 PM

^ WHOA!!!!!!!

MonarC · 02-06-2009, 11:05 PM

Yeah the key word here is 'stimulate'.

James · 02-07-2009, 03:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilhave

If you give it to a charitable cause, it will go to Nigeria.

Even if the "charitable cause" is the Parents Television Council?

Chocoholic · 02-07-2009, 02:08 PM

Funny pice, but sadly very true. It's about time we start bringing manufacturing jobs back here.

02-06-2009, 03:13 PM	#1
lilhave Member Senior Member Join Date: Jul 03, 2004 Location: N.Y.C. Posts: 2,294	Stimulus package explained Sometime this year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format: "Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment? "A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers. "Q. Where will the government get this money? "A. From taxpayers. "Q. So the government is giving me back my own money? "A. No, they are borrowing it from China. Your children are expected to repay the Chinese. "Q. What is the purpose of this payment? "A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase an HDTV, thus stimulating the economy. "Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China? "A. ## ? Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely: If you spend that money at Walmart, all the money will go to China. If you spend it on gasoline it will go to Hugo Chavez, the Arabs, and Al Qaeda If you purchase a computer it will go to Taiwan. If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, Chile, and Guatemala. If you buy a car it will go to Japan and Korea. If you purchase prescription drugs it will go to India. If you purchase heroin it will go to the Taliban in Afghanistan. If you give it to a charitable cause, it will go to Nigeria. And none of it will help the American economy. We need to keep that money here in America. You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US. Harv ey
	__________________ My List http://www.freewebs.com/lilhave/index.htm

02-06-2009, 07:10 PM	#2
Jude The Obscure Retired Eternal Member Forum Veteran Join Date: Dec 10, 2006 Posts: 7,520	^Nice humorous piece

02-06-2009, 11:03 PM	#4
Jude The Obscure Retired Eternal Member Forum Veteran Join Date: Dec 10, 2006 Posts: 7,520	^ WHOA!!!!!!!

02-06-2009, 11:05 PM	#5
MonarC The truth will set you free Forum Fanatic Join Date: Dec 05, 2002 Location: 3rd Stone From The Sun Posts: 9,525	Yeah the key word here is 'stimulate'.

02-07-2009, 02:08 PM	#7
Chocoholic Member Forum Star Join Date: Dec 01, 2000 Location: Between a rock and a hard place. Posts: 11,235	Funny pice, but sadly very true. It's about time we start bringing manufacturing jobs back here.