Tuesday's Quotes & Honeymooners TV Schedule (2/6-2/16):

[Frank Gannucci]

(AmericanLife TV):

(AmericanLife also has an OnDemand Service. This show might be one of the shows to watch.)

TV-G

All times are Eastern.

Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Shelia MacRae as Alice Kramden. Jean Kean as Trixie Norton.

Fri. Feb. 6 10p & Sat. Feb. 7, 2009 12a #50 (aka #203) – “Operation Protest”: Ralph gets his big break when he becomes public-relations director for his bus company. But joy may be short-lived: guess which bus company Alice's protester-nephew is picketing. (2254/13902)

Fri. Feb. 13 10p & Sat. Feb. 14, 2009 12a #1 (aka #154) - "In Twenty-Five Words or Less": Ralph wins the Flakey Wakey trip to Europe for four by entering a slogan contest. (2684/11042)

(WGN America) (Not WGN's Chicago feed)

(WGN America's episodes are in CC.)

Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Audrey Meadows as Alice Kramden. Joyce Randolph as Trixie Norton.

Sun. Feb. 8, 2009 12a #??? - Bus driver Ralph Kramden schemes to improve his lot in life. (307408)

9p #67 (aka #51) – “Cottage for Sale (Part One)”: The Kramdens and the Nortons want to buy a summer cottage, but it's too expensive. The seller convinces them that by removing a few luxuries from the cottage, they can afford it. Ralph and Norton immediately accept the offer. (829917)

9:30p #68 – “Cottage for Sale (Part Two)”: Ralph and Norton soon find out that the cottage they bought is not the one they got. When Alice and Trixie refuse to help fix it up, Ralph and Norton try to sell the cottage. (164595)

Sun. Feb. 15, 2009 9p #81(#55) – “Stand-In For Murder (Part One)”: A gangster finds out he is about to be killed by a rival gang. His men discover that Ralph is an amazing look-alike for their boss, and decided to use poor Ralph as a stand-in for murder. FUN FACT -This is the second time in the series Jackie Gleason played a dual role. (372047)

9:30p #82 – “Stand-In For Murder (Part Two)”: Ralph thinks he's gotten the break of his life when he gets a new high-paying position and he and Alice move into a luxury apartment. Meanwhile, the rival gang tries to kill Ralph. FUN FACT - This episode ran overtime and was never completed. (461405)

(WPIX) & (WPIXD)

Mon. Feb. 9, 2009 1a (CC) #71 (#50) – “This is Your Life (Part One)”: Ralph is chosen to be on the television program "This is Your Life," but it must be kept a secret from him. When Ralph sees Alice and the show's producer together, he thinks Alice is having an affair. (WPIX: 99977 WPIXD: 52967)

1:30a #59 (#85) - *“One Big Happy Family”: In an effort to save money, Ralph and Ed decide to share an apartment. But life is not so sweet with Ralph and Alice and Ed and Trixie all under the same roof. (WPIX: 23422 WPIXD: 37064)

Note: WPIX's website says that they are only showing one part of “This Is Your Life.” I am assuming that they, for whatever reason, won't show part 2 which entails Ralph and Norton finding airline tickets in Alice's bag and believing that she is planning to run away with the producer of "This is Your Life."

Mon. Feb. 16, 2009 1a #038 (aka #126) - "Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Mind Your Own Business"): Norton gets fired from his job in the sewer after taking Ralph's advice about demanding a promotion. Finding something new won't be easy, Norton says, because, after all, a sewer worker is like a brain surgeon---"we're both s pecialists." Still, after a couple of weeks, he finds work selling irons door-to-door. And when he tells his pal that he made $40 his first day on the job, Ralph suddenly contemplates leaving the bus company to become a salesman with Norton's company. (WPIX: 93245 WPIXD: 50577)

1:30a #92 (#72) - *“Songwriters”: To Alice's dismay, Ralph buys a piano thinking he and Norton can write a hit song and become rich. (WPIX: 27790. WPIXD: 31332)

The Honeymooners may be shown on local channels in your area.

*: This episode has been edited HEAVILY.

"Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Mind Your Own Business"):

Ed: "Suppose they don't give me the promotion?"

Ralph: "Then you scare them. Tell them that after 17 years in the sewer, you are finally washing your hands of the whole thing."

"The Man From Space":

Ralph: "If you see me coming down the street, get on the other side."

Ed: "When you walk down a street, there AIN'T no other side."

"A Dog's Life":

(Ralph brings some food to Mr. Marshall in his lunch box.)

Ralph: "I got in here (lunch box) a million dollars."

Ed: "Then you must have had a good day on the bus."

"Man In The Blue Suit":

(Ralph and Ed have just finished playing poker with their friends.)

Ralph: "Did you ever see a sore loser like that?"

Ed: "Yes, I did. Two weeks ago when you lost."

"Lawsuit":

Ralph: "I have to put some weight on my broken leg."

Ed: "You are just the boy that can do it."

"Finders Keepers":

Ralph: "I will get the $300 Alice. I will get the $300 if I have to sell everything in this house."

Alice: "Fine. But what are you going to do about the other $280?"

"The Honeymoon Is Over":

(Alice is dresssed up as a young lady.)

Alice: "Who is going to look at me Ralph. I'm an old woman."

Ralph: "Who would look at an old woman? An old man."

"Curse of The Kramdens":

Ralph: "I didn't know that Jackie Gleason was irish."

Ed: "Yeah. His family came during the potato famine. In fact, they may have caused it."

"Ralph Kramden Presents":

Ralph: "Do you have anyone to call to them that you are not coming back?"

Ed: "Who do I have to call? All I have to do is write a note and drop it in the nearest manhole."

Credit goes to wpix.com, wgnamerica.com, tvguide.com, tvland.com, the old honeymooners.net & Yahoo! Groups You're A Riot!,