The Cat's Bill of Rights - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

icecream · 01-16-2009, 09:53 PM

I am the cat, and I have certain inalienable rights.
I have the right to walk over your face anytime I wish, day or night.
I have the right to observe and comment on any and all bathroom behavior. Further, I have the right to be highly offended by any closed door.
I have the right to smell your shoes to determine if you have been fraternizing or cavorting or frolicking with any highly questionable animals.
I have the right to assist in any food preparation, cooking, cleaning or eating event that may occur in the home.
I have the right to wake you at three in the morning if I find my food dish is not to my satisfaction.
I have the right to tip over any water container I deem unsuitable for consumption.
I have the right to curse at squirrels and birds that may dare to pass my windows.
I have the right to inspect any grocery items that come into the home. Furhter, I have the right to inhabit any paper bag or cardboard box that you bring home for as long as I wish.
I have the right to nap at any time and place I darn well please, without the distraction of being called or moved just because you want to sit down, wash your hands or use your computer keyboard.
I have the right to sleep on top of any appliance that is warm.
I have the right to assist in any changing of bed linens and to chase the phantom creatures that hide beneath the sheets.
I have the right to look aloof when scolded for mistaking your toes for one of those pesky phantom creatures that hide beneath the sheets.
I have the right to kill paper-towel rolls that otherwise might sneak up on you at night.
I have the right to your complete attention anytime you sit down to read or work.
And finally, I have the right to be loved, petted, pampered and entertained, for, as you know, the best things in life...purr.
And, should you err in your ways, I will graciously forgive. After all, you are only human, but I love you anyway.

Signed,
The Cat

catlover79 · 01-16-2009, 09:59 PM

YES!!

MonarC · 01-17-2009, 03:30 PM

Cats are such special creatures.

TheHappyBurgerMeister · 01-17-2009, 07:35 PM

So true!

Janice · 01-17-2009, 08:18 PM

So funny and so very true, every word of it.

Chocoholic · 01-17-2009, 09:51 PM

I love cats... as long as they're cooked properly!

<Sorry, couldn't resist>

MonarC · 01-17-2009, 11:16 PM

How to cook a cat? Simmer on low for 6 hours.

catlover79 · 01-17-2009, 11:23 PM

Ardis, those photos are just precious. The cat in the Crock Pot looks just like my sister and brother-in-law's cat, Ginger.

Hey, you don't suppose?...

catlover79 · 01-17-2009, 11:27 PM

Here's one of my all-time faves - my very own Lucky!

catlover79 · 01-17-2009, 11:30 PM

Check these kitty videos out!!

http://video.yahoo.com/network/10000...74&l=100000085

Marvo301 · 01-18-2009, 01:35 AM

Caption for picture of Lucky:

Why do I always end up in the bad kitty box?

catlover79 · 01-18-2009, 01:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marvo301

Caption for picture of Lucky:

Why do I always end up in the bad kitty box?

MonarC · 01-18-2009, 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by catlover79

Here's one of my all-time faves - my very own Lucky!

Awwwww what a beautiful cat.

catlover79 · 01-18-2009, 03:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MonarC

Awwwww what a beautiful cat.

Thank you!!

TripperFan · 01-18-2009, 04:09 PM

I loved these when I got them. Some are not considered pg-13 so I can't post those ones (which of course, are usually the best), but....

01-16-2009, 09:53 PM	#1
icecream Cat-tastic and Whiskerlicious Forum Celebrity Join Date: Sep 01, 2006 Location: The Catacombs Posts: 20,702	The Cat's Bill of Rights I am the cat, and I have certain inalienable rights. I have the right to walk over your face anytime I wish, day or night. I have the right to observe and comment on any and all bathroom behavior. Further, I have the right to be highly offended by any closed door. I have the right to smell your shoes to determine if you have been fraternizing or cavorting or frolicking with any highly questionable animals. I have the right to assist in any food preparation, cooking, cleaning or eating event that may occur in the home. I have the right to wake you at three in the morning if I find my food dish is not to my satisfaction. I have the right to tip over any water container I deem unsuitable for consumption. I have the right to curse at squirrels and birds that may dare to pass my windows. I have the right to inspect any grocery items that come into the home. Furhter, I have the right to inhabit any paper bag or cardboard box that you bring home for as long as I wish. I have the right to nap at any time and place I darn well please, without the distraction of being called or moved just because you want to sit down, wash your hands or use your computer keyboard. I have the right to sleep on top of any appliance that is warm. I have the right to assist in any changing of bed linens and to chase the phantom creatures that hide beneath the sheets. I have the right to look aloof when scolded for mistaking your toes for one of those pesky phantom creatures that hide beneath the sheets. I have the right to kill paper-towel rolls that otherwise might sneak up on you at night. I have the right to your complete attention anytime you sit down to read or work. And finally, I have the right to be loved, petted, pampered and entertained, for, as you know, the best things in life...purr. And, should you err in your ways, I will graciously forgive. After all, you are only human, but I love you anyway. Signed, The Cat
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01-16-2009, 09:59 PM	#2
catlover79 God Bless Val Forum Addict Join Date: May 29, 2006 Location: Bewitched in Ohio Posts: 70,376	YES!!
	__________________ "Jesus loves you and He approves this message." "I'm alive. I'm feeling good. I'm trying to live every moment as much as I can." - Valerie Harper, March 2013

01-17-2009, 03:30 PM	#3
MonarC The truth will set you free Forum Fanatic Join Date: Dec 05, 2002 Location: 3rd Stone From The Sun Posts: 9,525	Cats are such special creatures.
	Last edited by MonarC; 01-17-2009 at 11:13 PM.

01-17-2009, 07:35 PM	#4
TheHappyBurgerMeister Member Senior Member Join Date: Jul 23, 2002 Location: Wisconsin, USA Posts: 2,209	So true!
	__________________ Kristina Thinkin' 'Bout Something Official Music Video Shout it Out- Hanson's 5th studio album in stores June 8th!

01-17-2009, 11:27 PM	#9
catlover79 God Bless Val Forum Addict Join Date: May 29, 2006 Location: Bewitched in Ohio Posts: 70,376	Here's one of my all-time faves - my very own Lucky! Attached Images

01-17-2009, 08:18 PM	#5
Janice Retired Admin - Hollywood Swingin' Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 03, 2001 Location: Beantown Posts: 36,388	So funny and so very true, every word of it.

01-17-2009, 09:51 PM	#6
Chocoholic Member Forum Star Join Date: Dec 01, 2000 Location: Between a rock and a hard place. Posts: 11,235	I love cats... as long as they're cooked properly! <Sorry, couldn't resist>

01-17-2009, 11:16 PM	#7
MonarC The truth will set you free Forum Fanatic Join Date: Dec 05, 2002 Location: 3rd Stone From The Sun Posts: 9,525	How to cook a cat? Simmer on low for 6 hours.

01-17-2009, 11:23 PM	#8
catlover79 God Bless Val Forum Addict Join Date: May 29, 2006 Location: Bewitched in Ohio Posts: 70,376	Ardis, those photos are just precious. The cat in the Crock Pot looks just like my sister and brother-in-law's cat, Ginger. Hey, you don't suppose?...

01-17-2009, 11:30 PM	#10
catlover79 God Bless Val Forum Addict Join Date: May 29, 2006 Location: Bewitched in Ohio Posts: 70,376	Check these kitty videos out!! http://video.yahoo.com/network/10000...74&l=100000085

01-18-2009, 01:35 AM	#11
Marvo301 I'm NOT a Blockhead! Forum Celebrity Join Date: May 17, 2002 Location: The Great White North Posts: 21,452	Caption for picture of Lucky: Why do I always end up in the bad kitty box?
	__________________ Only a life lived for others is worth living. Albert Einstein A life isn't worth living unless it has impact on other lives. Jackie Robinson Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man. Benjamin Franklin

01-18-2009, 04:09 PM	#15
TripperFan In God's Arms Now Forum Star Join Date: Sep 14, 2003 Location: Heartbreak Ridge Posts: 12,086	I loved these when I got them. Some are not considered pg-13 so I can't post those ones (which of course, are usually the best), but.... Attached Images
	__________________ If I don't see you in this world, I'll meet you in the next one.....don't be late James Marshall Hendrix Voodoo Chile The Forum Legend formerly known as TripperFan "religion is for people who are afraid of hell--spirituality is for people who have been through hell"---anonymous