Employee Evaluation - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

lilhave · 01-15-2009, 10:48 AM

Actual Quotes from Federal employees' performance
evaluations:

"Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and
has started to dig."

"His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of
morbid curiosity."

"Works well when under constant supervision and when
cornered like a rat in a trap."

"This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

"She sets low personal standards and then consistently
fails to achieve them."

"This employee should go far - and the sooner he starts,
the better."

"This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an
idiot."

Actual Quotes from military Officer Efficiency Reports
(OERs):

"Not the sharpest knife in the drawer."

"Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold
it all together."

"A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary
ignoramus."

"A photographic memory, but with the lens cover glued
on."

"A prime candidate for natural de-selection."

"One-celled organisms outscore him in IQ tests."

"Fell out of the family tree."

"Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train
isn't coming."

"Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out
looking for it."

"He's so dense, light bends around him."

"If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get
change."

"If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the
ocean."

"It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other
sperm."

"Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only
gargled."

"Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."

Chocoholic · 01-15-2009, 04:26 PM

Harvey, where do you find all these lists?

Marvo301 · 01-15-2009, 06:50 PM

Very, very funny!!!!!!

catlover79 · 01-15-2009, 09:13 PM

I think I've worked with some of those people.

Courtnee · 01-15-2009, 09:50 PM

catlover79 · 01-15-2009, 10:48 PM

I should print that out and post it on the bulletin board at work.

Yooch · 01-15-2009, 11:40 PM

OH Nuts! · 01-16-2009, 12:37 AM

rotfl !!! what a hoot

01-15-2009, 10:48 AM	#1
lilhave Member Senior Member Join Date: Jul 03, 2004 Location: N.Y.C. Posts: 2,294	Employee Evaluation Actual Quotes from Federal employees' performance evaluations: "Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig." "His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity." "Works well when under constant supervision and when cornered like a rat in a trap." "This young lady has delusions of adequacy." "She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them." "This employee should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better." "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot." Actual Quotes from military Officer Efficiency Reports (OERs): "Not the sharpest knife in the drawer." "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together." "A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus." "A photographic memory, but with the lens cover glued on." "A prime candidate for natural de-selection." "One-celled organisms outscore him in IQ tests." "Fell out of the family tree." "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming." "Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it." "He's so dense, light bends around him." "If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change." "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean." "It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm." "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled." "Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."
	__________________ My List http://www.freewebs.com/lilhave/index.htm

01-15-2009, 06:50 PM	#3
Marvo301 I'm NOT a Blockhead! Forum Celebrity Join Date: May 17, 2002 Location: The Great White North Posts: 21,452	Very, very funny!!!!!!
	__________________ Only a life lived for others is worth living. Albert Einstein A life isn't worth living unless it has impact on other lives. Jackie Robinson Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man. Benjamin Franklin

01-15-2009, 09:13 PM	#4
catlover79 God Bless Val Forum Addict Join Date: May 29, 2006 Location: Bewitched in Ohio Posts: 70,376	I think I've worked with some of those people.
	__________________ "Jesus loves you and He approves this message." "I'm alive. I'm feeling good. I'm trying to live every moment as much as I can." - Valerie Harper, March 2013

01-15-2009, 09:50 PM	#5
Courtnee MAN VS SAMMICH. Forum Star Join Date: Mar 23, 2005 Location: Louisiana Posts: 16,413
	__________________ Whether I'm the rose of sheer perfection A freckle on the nose of life's complexion The Cinderella or the shine apple of its eye I gotta fly once, I gotta try once, Only can die once, right, sir? Ooh, life is juicy, juicy and you see, I gotta have my bite, sir. Get ready for me love, 'cause I'm a "comer" I simply gotta march, my heart's a drummer Don't bring around the cloud to rain on my parade

01-15-2009, 11:40 PM	#7
Yooch Member Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 07, 2006 Location: California Posts: 3,180
	__________________ "The true meaning of America, you ask? It's in a Texas rodeo, in a policeman's badge, in the sound of laughing children, in a political rally, in a newspaper...In all these things and many more, you'll find freedom. And freedom is what America means to the world. And to me." --Audie Leon Murphy June 20, 1924-- May 28, 1971

01-15-2009, 04:26 PM	#2
Chocoholic Member Forum Star Join Date: Dec 01, 2000 Location: Between a rock and a hard place. Posts: 11,235	Harvey, where do you find all these lists?

01-15-2009, 10:48 PM	#6
catlover79 God Bless Val Forum Addict Join Date: May 29, 2006 Location: Bewitched in Ohio Posts: 70,376	I should print that out and post it on the bulletin board at work.

01-16-2009, 12:37 AM	#8
OH Nuts! Member Forum King Join Date: Feb 15, 2005 Posts: 133,383	rotfl !!! what a hoot