Tuesday's Quotes:

[Frank Gannucci]

AmericanLife TV):

(AmericanLife also has an OnDemand Service. This show might be one of the shows to watch.)

TV-G

All times are Eastern.

Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Shelia MacRae as Alice Kramden. Jean Kean as Trixie Norton.

Fri. Jan. 9 10p & Sat. Jan. 10, 2009 12a #45 (aka #199) – “The Sun & Raccoon Capital”: The end of the harmonious Honeymooners quartet may be near. At the Miami convention of the Raccoons, it's election time. Opponents for the office of High Exalted Mystic Ruler? Ralph and Norton! (Fri.: 5915/Sat.: 94373)

Fri. Jan. 16 10p & Sat. Jan. 17, 2009 12a #46 (aka #200) – “The Match Game”: Frances Langford plays the brain behind a computer-match service, as the Honeymooners breeze into the Windy City. Computer-wise, the Norton's match really clicks -- but Cupid somehow missed with the Kramdens! Who's at fault, man or machine? (Fri.: 4852/Sat.: 95500)

(WGN America) (Not WGN's Chicago feed) (WPIX) & (WPIXD):

(WGN America's episodes are in CC.)

Sun. Jan. 11, 2009 12a #86 (aka #36/#19) – “‘The Prowler’/‘Glow Worm Cleaning Powder’”: (For “The Prowler”): In the middle of the night the police warn the Kramdens that there is a prowler loose in the building. (For “Glow Worm Cleaning Powder”): Alice is chosen to be next month's "Glow Worm Girl" but Ralph won't let her do it. (440492)

9p #75 (aka #139) - *“Catch a Star”: At a Raccoon Lodge meeting, Ralph lies that he knows Jackie Gleason and can get him to appear at the Raccoon's annual dance. Desperately, Ralph and Norton go to the hotel where Gleason is staying and try to convince "The Great One" to appear. FUN FACT - Jackie Gleason, Art Carney, Audrey Meadows and Joyce Randolph play dual roles in this episode but Audrey's appearance is edited out in syndication. (440492)

9:30p #76 (aka #40/14) – “‘Lucky Number’/‘Pickles’”: (For “Lucky Number”): When Ralph takes off from work to go to a ball game with Norton, he wins $1,000 but can't accept it without losing his job. (For “Pickles”): When Alice has a craving for pickles; Ralph concludes that she is pregnant. (562188)

Sun. Jan. 18, 2009 12a #85 (#23/#46) – “‘Anniversary Gift’/‘Finger Man’”: (For “Anniversary Gift”): Ralph is embarrassed when the anniversary gift he bought Alice is the same one Trixie bought for her. (For “Finger Man”): Ralph heroically catches a murderer on his bus, but fears for his life when the murderer escapes from jail and vows to "get the man who put the finger on him." (VCR Plus code is unavailable.)

9p #77 (aka #60) – “Box Top Kid (Part One)”: Ralph gets jealous when his brother in law wins a trip to Europe in a box top contest. He and Norton start to buy every product they can find with a box top contest. (768895)

9:30p #78 – “Box Top Kid (Part Two)”: Ralph wins a Slim-O Bread contest by claiming he lost 80 pounds. There's only one problem; he must lose the weight before the publicity photos are taken or he will be disqualified.
(840963)

(WPIX & WPIXD):

Mon. Jan. 12, 2009 1a #104 (CC) (aka #78) – “Little Man Who Wasn’t There (Part One)”: Ralph is sent to the company psychiatrist when he loses his temper once too often on the job. He is advised to give up his friendship with Norton, Norton mistakes his farewell note for a suicide note, and shadows Ralph to keep him out of trouble. (WPIX: 93299. WPIXD: 83251)

1:30a #105 – “Little Man Who Wasn’t There (Part Two)”: Ralph, seeing Norton everywhere he looks and thinks he's losing his mind ...until the truth comes out and the psychiatrist decides that Norton and Kramden belong together. (WPIX: 18096. WPIXD: 24096.)

Mon. Jan. 19, 2009 1a #026 (aka #117) - "Young Man With A Horn": The discovery of his old cornet and an unexpected visit by a self-made millionaire prompt Ralph to wonder why he hasn't achieved more success and hit the "high note" in his life. As a result, he decides to make a list of his good points and do something to correct his bad ones. (WPIX: 74616. WPIXD: 80616.)

1:30a #40 (aka #64) - *“Ralph's Sweet Tooth”: When Ralph is invited to appear in a candy bar commercial, he refuses to let a bad toothache interfere. (WPIX: 32631. WPIXD: 12703.)

*: This episode has been edited HEAVILY.

(WNET) (WNET HD) (PBS affiliate from Newark, NJ)
(WLIW) (Long Island PBS affiliate)
(WGCU) (Southwest Florida PBS affiliate)

Two hours long.

Wed. Jan. 14, 2009 8p (WNET [93375] & WNET HD [6400]) & (WGCU & WGCU & HD [6400] Yes, both channels supossedly have the same VCR Plus Code),
Wed. Jan. 14, 2009 10p (WGCU & WGCU HD [2820])
Thu. Jan. 15, 2009 1a (WGCU & WGCU HD [84424])
Thu. Jan. 15, 2009 9p (WLIW) (51467)
Fri. Jan. 16, 2009 1a (WLIW) (324992)
Fri. Jan. 16, 2009 3a (WGCU & WGCU HD [135061])
Sat. Jan. 17, 2009 1:30a (WNET [35630] & WNET HD [76429])

Episode Detail: Nerds, Jerks & Oddballs: Would Ya Hit a Guy with Glasses?; Breadwinners and Homemakers: Honey, I'm Home! - Make 'Em Laugh: The Funny Business of America

Billy Crystal hosts a history of American comedy, which explores the funny business via performances, profiles and interviews. It begins with a look at comedic outsiders and spans comics from Harold Lloyd to Steve Martin and also includes such icons as Bob Hope, Phyllis Diller and Andy Kaufman. Then, the domestic comedy concept is examined. Shows include "The Goldbergs," "I Love Lucy," "The Honeymooners," "The Dick Van Dyke Show," "All in the Family," "The Cosby Show," "Roseanne" and "Seinfeld."

"Hero Part 1":

Tommy: "He (Mr. Kramden) was a a great end in football."

Ed: "Great? Probably the biggest end in the business."

"Hero Part 1":

Alice: "Let me tell you something Ralph. When was the last time you lifted 400 pounds?"

Ed: "This morning when he got out of bed."

"Man In The Blue Suit":

Ralph: "While I am gone, don't you even think about giving away this
furniture."

Alice: "I tried, but they wouldn't accept it."

"Opportunity Knocks, But":

Ralph: "After tonight, I may have my own pooltable in my apartment."

Ed: "If you do, you will probably have to stand on the sink to make a shot."

"Ralph Kramden Inc.":

Ralph: "Are you sure that that suitcase can hold $40,000,000? Why don't you cut pieces of paper into the sizes of dollar bills and find out."

(Ed opens the suitcase to reveal that he did just that.)

Ed: "Small details."

"Sleepy Time Gal":

Ralph: "Norton, do you like the furniture here?"

Ed: "Yeah."

Ralph (to Alice): "There you are."

Ed: "Of course. I don't live here."

"Sleepy Time Gal":

(Ralph tries to butter up Alice.)

Ralph: "Do you know how foolish I am going out every night when I have a beautiful wife at home?"

Ed: "At least I got a good excuse."

"A Matter of Life & Death":

Ralph: "Norton, I'm going to remember you in my will. I'm leaving you my bowling shoes."

Ed: "Boy, thanks pal. I was just going to go out and buy myself a new pair of bowling shoes! This couldn't happen at a better time!"

"Be It Ever So Humble":

(The gang is in the broken-down home.)

Ed: "How long is this lease for?"

Ralph: "The usual."

Ed: "How long is that?"

Ralph "99 years."

Ed: "99 years?"

Ralph: "Yes, 99 years. That's what America gets from Great Britian when they do that lend-lease stuff."

Ed: "Yeah, but this place isn't exactly Bermuda."

Credit goes to zap2it.com, tvguide.com, tvland.com & the old honeymooners.net.