Episode Reviews: "Jellybeans" & "Six Months To Live" ('52 version):

[Frank Gannucci]

Episode #15
TV: Attached to "Goodnight Sweet Prince."
VCR: Attached to "Cottage For Sale."
DVD: Attached to "Hot Dog Stand", "Alice Plays Cupid" and "Cottage For Sale."

The episode opens up with Ralph seeing how many jellybeans he can put into the can jar. Alice comes home after visiting her ill mother. She says that she wants to buy a dress that is on sale. Alice eventually notices that Ralph hasn't said hello to her and is still counting. Alice asks him what he is doing. Ralph responds by saying that on his way home, he stopped by a store and in the store they had a contest in which you had to guess how many jellybeans are in the jar. He got an idea. He got a jar that looks like the one the store had and bought some jellybeans. I don't know what the name of the store is. He figures that without guessing on his part, he will win the prize which he thinks is $100. Alice says that Ralph's head is full of jellybeans.

Alice says to Ralph to come with her so she can buy the dress. Alice: "Come on! Hurry up! The sale ends tonight." Ralph: "So does the contest. I am not leaving until I finish counting." Alice says that the first night of the sale, she couldn't go because Ralph was tired and on the second night, she couldn't go because Ralph had to go bowling. Question: Why does Alice need Ralph to get the dress? Is it because she thinks it isn't safe for her to be walking down the street with a dress all by herself? Just a thought.

Ralph makes a mistake in counting. He says: "4,442" so Alice corrects him by saying that there is no 4,443 jellybeans in the jar. Ralph: "Why are you getting me all mixed up for? Now, I have to start all over again." I am not to sure if her correction was correct.

Ed Norton comes in wearing his traditional Ed Norton outfit, but only this time he's wearing a white tank top rather than a white t-shirt. Ralph is still counting, but he forgot how many jellybeans are in the jar, so he asks Alice who says: "3,478." Forget about the fact that she said that there was more than 4,000 jellybeans in the jar a few seconds ago. Ralph is worried that he will forget, so he tries to write the number down. As he does this, Ed decides to eat some of the jellybeans in the jar. Ralph: "Why did you eat those jellybeans for?" Ed: "What is the matter? What are they, poisoned?" Ralph: "No, they are counted."

Ralph says to Ed that he is in a contest and explains the rules of the contest to Ed. Ed says that all those contests are crooked. Ed: "I was in a contest once. You had to name all the states. I got gypped out of the first prize. I named 66 states. The guy that won only named 48." This was before the U.S. had 50 states. Question: Where did Ed get all the other states from, Canada, other countries? Ralph says that Ed is a mental case.

Ralph says that he is finished counting. So he asks Ed is he can use his phone that is in the kitchen. Ed says that Trixie is dressing in there because there is no window shade in the bedroom. Ralph: "Could you call the people at the store and tell them that the number of jellybeans is 4,450." Ed: "4,000 what?" Ralph: "4,550." That is not a typo folks. Ralph once again got the number wrong. Question: Doesn't Ralph know that if Ed called with the right answer, that the people at the store will assume that Ed is the winner? Just a thought. Ed leaves.

Ralph says that he is finished counting. Alice says that she has had one dress in the last five years. Ralph says that she has had a blue, pink, brown, and a green dress. Alice: "Yup, this is it and I have run out of dye."

Ed comes back with the great news that Ralph has won the contest. Ed says that the first prize isn't $100. Ed says that it's a gift certificate meaning that if you buy a $1,000 worth of furniture at that store, you get a $100 worth free. Ralph: "What kind of prize is that? Ed: "It's not a total loss. You can stick this jar of jellybeans in the window and win your own contest." Question: How is that idea supposed to win Ralph money? Ed leaves.

Alice notices that the $10 that she was going to use ofr the dress is gone. (The dress was $10 on sale.) Ralph says that he bought the jellybeans wiht the money. Ralph says with the $100 that he was planning to win, one of the things he was going to buy her was a new Thanksgiving outfit. (This episode was shown just before Thanksgiving in 1952.) Ralph says he is sorry. Alice forgives him. Alice: "Ralph, I got you and that's plenty to be thankful for." Ralph: "You're the greatest."

Episode #17
VHS & DVD: Hasn't been released and who knows if and when it will be.

This was shown on FOX as part of their Best of Gleason Specials in 1989 and 1990. Alice is home with an eye patch on her eye. In real life, Audrey had an eye infection or something. Trixie visits. Alice explains the patch is because Ralph accidentally hit her with a sock. She was supposed to catch it. Alice is talking about her mother's dog being sick and having to be taken to the doctor. It costs Alice $10. It was more expensive to have the doctor give the dog a check-up then it did Ralph when he recently visited the doctor.

Ralph and Ed come in. Ed wants a kiss from Trixie. But she says no. One of the reasons is that he worked in the sewer all day. Trixie goes upstairs. Ralph tells a story that while he was on the bus today, he met a man who said that he was George Washington. The man annoyed Ralph and the customers for a while so Ralph got him off the bus by stopping sand saying: ‘This Is Valley Forge.’” Alice leaves to go get the wash. Ed asks Ralph if he wants to go see a movie tonight. Ralph says no. He thinks that there is something wrong with him since he went to the doctor. The telegram is sent in. Ralph gets the telegram from the delivery man and when the man holds out his hand expecting a tip, Ralph says: "Your hand is very dirty." Ralph: “I hope there is something wrong with me. That way, I can go down to Paul’s Landing and do some fishing.” Doesn’t Ralph know that when you are sick and have to stay at home from your job, you shouldn’t go on vacation? Ralph reads the telegram aloud to Ed. Ralph: “A severe case of manochromia exists. This is the type of disease that normally affects Boxers. The signs are: blue tongue, hair falling out and irritability. Keep him away from your mother as people will become vulnerable to the disease he is carrying." He continues reading the telegram. Ralph thinks that the letter is about him and he is dying. Ed: "Doctors can be wrong to you know. Take a friend of mine, the doctor gave him six months to live. He lived for almost eight months." Ralph blames the disease on his job. Ralph: “I am headed up to that big bus depot in the sky.” Ralph thought he would never go out this way. It’s been a real struggle ever since he was born according to him. He can’t believe the way he is going out. Ed leave, but not after asking Ralph what size bowling shoes he wears.

Alice comes down. She sings: “I am walking alone.” Ralph (yells): “WILL YOU STOP SINGING THAT SONG?” Alice doesn’t comply and if she wanted to, she will sing it for the next six months. Ralph looks at his tongue in the mirror to see if it is blue. Ralph: “I just want to look at my tongue.” Alice: “Why don’t you go down to the butcher’s? They have a lot of them.” After that, he asks for a saucer of warm milk and he wants it in his bedroom. Alice: “One of these days, they are going to take you away.” Ralph: “That is right.” Ralph wants Alice to sit down. Ralph wants to talk to her. Ralph: “I want a man-to-man conversation with you. He talks about would she marry another guy if Ralph died. Alice: “No, unless the right guy came along and I was lonely.” Ralph can’t blame her because she is in the prime of life and he is going to die soon. He then talks about what it would be like if she met another guy after Ralph died. Ralph: “When I die, bury me in my overcoat.” Alice: “Don’t worry. You are strong as a horse.” Ralph: “I suppose you never saw a dead horse.” Alice: “Now that you mentioned it, there is a resemblance.” Ralph: “You try to steam me. YOU GOT ME STEAMED. I tried to save you some aggravation. Read that (the telegram.)” She does. She laughs uncontrollably while Ralph thinks that she has no heart. Alice tells him that he is not dying and this telegram is for mom's dog. She explains the significance of the telegram. Ralph is happy that he is not dying after all. He and Alice laugh together. Ralph: “You are married to the World’s No. 1 Maniac.” Alice: “I love my maniac.” They hug and kiss.