Would it bother you if you gave someone a gift - and they gave it away? - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Janice · 01-02-2009, 12:12 AM

I know once you give a person a gift, it's theirs to do with as they please. Still, there have been a few occasions when I've had my feelings hurt. I used to make Christmas baskets, as centerpieces. I'd buy the basket and fillings at a crafts store. They were simply beautiful. People used to tell me to go into business and sell them.

I sent one to a friend for Christmas. She was an internet friend. We were very close for almost three years. We even talked of visiting each other. Anyway, she went wild over the basket. She told me that she visited her parents, who don't live nearby her, and that she gave it to her mother. She even joked that she gave it to her as a gift, so her mother thought she bought it for her.

I guess I should have been flattered, but I remember feeling hurt, or at the very least, wishing that she didn't tell me.

Brian Damage · 01-02-2009, 12:43 AM

I think my feelings would be hurt, especially if I put a special thought into it. I can totally understand you being a little insulted by the basket regifting Janice.

Janice · 01-02-2009, 12:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brian Damage

I think my feelings would be hurt, especially if I put a special thought into it. I can totally understand you being a little insulted by the basket regifting Janice.

The thing is, I was making the baskets for my family and friends. I e-mailed her pictures, and she loved them. The baskets cost $50+ to make, and I went to Mailbox Etc, to send it to her in Michigan, and that cost me $30. She was so cavalier when she told me too, like it was the thing to do. If I was friendly with her mother, I guess I wouldn't have minded as much.

Sara Micelli · 01-02-2009, 02:16 AM

I can certainly understand why you would feel hurt by that. To be honest, my family regifts things all the time. But we never actually tell that to the person who originally gave them to us. That's just tacky.

Hollow · 01-02-2009, 05:23 AM

yes, it would bother me.

Waterston_Fan · 01-02-2009, 10:37 AM

I think it probably won't bother me if I know that person who got the gift but I don't think I would like it if they did that to someone I don't know.

Maybe you should send your friend a bill and say, you are paying for this gift you gave to your mother.

comedyfreak · 01-02-2009, 10:44 AM

It would bother me also.

Courtnee · 01-02-2009, 12:52 PM

I would feel hurt, too. After all, you spend all this time picking out their gift and then they just give it to someone else.

It's just rude, really.

Janice · 01-02-2009, 12:58 PM

Wow, this is cool.

I thought some would disagree and tell me that it was her gift to do as she pleased and that I had no right to feel that way.

Does anybody else have any stories where a person gave away a gift they gave to someone?

Brian Damage · 01-02-2009, 01:38 PM

Sadly, my parents are the King and Queen of regifting. My wife and I bought them a dvd player and they gave it to my brother.

Sara Micelli · 01-02-2009, 01:56 PM

I wanted to get some opinions about this:
Maybe it's just me, but I think it depends on what the gift is. If it's something useful or something the person obviously put a lot of time and effort into(like a DVD player or gift basket), I think it's rude to just give it away. But if it's something that I'd never use, should I really just let it sit around forever and take up space? Wouldn't it be better to give it to someone who would actually appreciate it and use it? I can honestly see why regifting might hurt someone's feelings, but I really do think it's acceptable in certain situations. If someone gives the gift away, that doesn't necessarily mean that they don't appreciate the thought behind it. Or at least that's what I was always taught. Am I just weird?

Janice · 01-02-2009, 01:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brian Damage

Sadly, my parents are the King and Queen of regifting. My wife and I bought them a dvd player and they gave it to my brother.

Ouch. The best way to deal with them is go give them gifts that are exclusive to them. For you mother, a gift certificate to her beauty salon. For your dad, a gift certificate for whatever he likes, Home Depot, etc. Then to add a personal touch, give them their favorite perfume and cologne, with a nice Hallmark calendar. That'll fix 'em.

*Pleasant Tomorrow* · 01-02-2009, 01:59 PM

Yes, you have every right to feel upset. If you put thought into it and thought they'd like it, of course it's going to hurt if they give it away. I know I'd be hurt.

Sara Micelli · 01-02-2009, 02:02 PM

Just to clarify, I think you have every right to feel upset, Janice.

I'm just saying that I can see the other side of the coin as well.

*Pleasant Tomorrow* · 01-02-2009, 02:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sara Micelli

Just to clarify, I think you have every right to feel upset, Janice.

I'm just saying that I can see the other side of the coin as well.

I agree with you too, though. Yeah, it'd hurt me...but if they're not going to use it they might as well, really.

01-02-2009, 12:12 AM	#1
Janice Retired Admin - Hollywood Swingin' Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 03, 2001 Location: Beantown Posts: 36,388	Would it bother you if you gave someone a gift - and they gave it away? I know once you give a person a gift, it's theirs to do with as they please. Still, there have been a few occasions when I've had my feelings hurt. I used to make Christmas baskets, as centerpieces. I'd buy the basket and fillings at a crafts store. They were simply beautiful. People used to tell me to go into business and sell them. I sent one to a friend for Christmas. She was an internet friend. We were very close for almost three years. We even talked of visiting each other. Anyway, she went wild over the basket. She told me that she visited her parents, who don't live nearby her, and that she gave it to her mother. She even joked that she gave it to her as a gift, so her mother thought she bought it for her. I guess I should have been flattered, but I remember feeling hurt, or at the very least, wishing that she didn't tell me.

01-02-2009, 12:43 AM	#2
Brian Damage I'm Rich Bitch Forum Icon Join Date: Feb 03, 2002 Location: What Ain't No Country I Ever Heard Of...They Speak English in What? Posts: 63,107	I think my feelings would be hurt, especially if I put a special thought into it. I can totally understand you being a little insulted by the basket regifting Janice.
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01-02-2009, 02:16 AM	#4
Sara Micelli Member Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 14, 2002 Location: Texas Posts: 3,122	I can certainly understand why you would feel hurt by that. To be honest, my family regifts things all the time. But we never actually tell that to the person who originally gave them to us. That's just tacky.
	__________________ Formerly popcornperson2002. Some people come into our lives and quickly go.Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never,ever the same-source unknown. "Suicide sometimes proceeds from cowardice, but not always; for cowardice sometimes prevents it; since as many live because they are afraid to die, as die because they are afraid to live" -Charles Caleb Colton

01-02-2009, 10:44 AM	#7
comedyfreak Cheers! Forum Fanatic Join Date: Dec 14, 2005 Location: Sunny California Posts: 11,061	It would bother me also.
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01-02-2009, 12:52 PM	#8
Courtnee MAN VS SAMMICH. Forum Star Join Date: Mar 23, 2005 Location: Louisiana Posts: 16,413	I would feel hurt, too. After all, you spend all this time picking out their gift and then they just give it to someone else. It's just rude, really.
	__________________ Whether I'm the rose of sheer perfection A freckle on the nose of life's complexion The Cinderella or the shine apple of its eye I gotta fly once, I gotta try once, Only can die once, right, sir? Ooh, life is juicy, juicy and you see, I gotta have my bite, sir. Get ready for me love, 'cause I'm a "comer" I simply gotta march, my heart's a drummer Don't bring around the cloud to rain on my parade

01-02-2009, 05:23 AM	#5
Hollow Member Forum Superstar Join Date: Dec 16, 2001 Posts: 30,406	yes, it would bother me.

01-02-2009, 10:37 AM	#6
Waterston_Fan Eternal Member Eternal Member Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 26, 2005 Location: Southern California Posts: 3,195	I think it probably won't bother me if I know that person who got the gift but I don't think I would like it if they did that to someone I don't know. Maybe you should send your friend a bill and say, you are paying for this gift you gave to your mother.

01-02-2009, 12:58 PM	#9
Janice Retired Admin - Hollywood Swingin' Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 03, 2001 Location: Beantown Posts: 36,388	Wow, this is cool. I thought some would disagree and tell me that it was her gift to do as she pleased and that I had no right to feel that way. Does anybody else have any stories where a person gave away a gift they gave to someone?

01-02-2009, 01:38 PM	#10
Brian Damage I'm Rich Bitch Forum Icon Join Date: Feb 03, 2002 Location: What Ain't No Country I Ever Heard Of...They Speak English in What? Posts: 63,107	Sadly, my parents are the King and Queen of regifting. My wife and I bought them a dvd player and they gave it to my brother.

01-02-2009, 01:56 PM	#11
Sara Micelli Member Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 14, 2002 Location: Texas Posts: 3,122	I wanted to get some opinions about this: Maybe it's just me, but I think it depends on what the gift is. If it's something useful or something the person obviously put a lot of time and effort into(like a DVD player or gift basket), I think it's rude to just give it away. But if it's something that I'd never use, should I really just let it sit around forever and take up space? Wouldn't it be better to give it to someone who would actually appreciate it and use it? I can honestly see why regifting might hurt someone's feelings, but I really do think it's acceptable in certain situations. If someone gives the gift away, that doesn't necessarily mean that they don't appreciate the thought behind it. Or at least that's what I was always taught. Am I just weird?

01-02-2009, 01:59 PM	#13
Pleasant Tomorrow Member Forum Addict Join Date: Feb 19, 2003 Location: New York Posts: 69,525	Yes, you have every right to feel upset. If you put thought into it and thought they'd like it, of course it's going to hurt if they give it away. I know I'd be hurt.
	__________________ my name is ashlee Welcome! Everything is fine.

01-02-2009, 02:02 PM	#14
Sara Micelli Member Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 14, 2002 Location: Texas Posts: 3,122	Just to clarify, I think you have every right to feel upset, Janice. I'm just saying that I can see the other side of the coin as well.