Monday's Quotes & a Honeymooners New Year's Day:

[Frank Gannucci]

(The Kramdens & Nortons are in Times Square to ring in 2009. The ball just started to drop. The ball goes past the 2009 mark.)

Everyone (yells): "HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

(Everyone starts hugging and kissing.)

Dick Clark: "Happy New Year everyone. I can't believe that this is the last year of this decade. Next year, I think we ought to have a correspondent in Miami Beach. Jackie Gleason would love to have us there."

(Meanwhile, the Kramdens & Nortons are celebrating.)

Ralph: "Happy New Year sweetheart."

Alice: "Happy New Year Ralph."

Ed: "There's a dance hall right over there. They are still letting people in."

Ralph: "Let's go."

(They enter into the dance hall and sit down.)

Ed: "Ralph, do you have any resolutions. I have mine and that is to throw myself into my job more."

Ralph: "Mine, believe it or not, is to stop getting into fights and to lose weight."

Harvey (in background, yells): "YOU LOSE WEIGHT KRAMDEN AND NOT GET INTO ANY FIGHTS? HA HA HA HA. YOU ARE TOO FAT TO EXERCISE.

Ralph (yells): "OH YEAH? I WILL SHOW UP. PUT 'EM UP! I CAN TAKE YOU ON."

(Later on, Ralph is being helped home. He has TWO black eyes.)

Ed: "Ralph, I can safely say that you own the record for the shortest amount of time anyone has ever kept a New Year's Resolution."

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT! GET OUT!"

Ed: "Happy New Year!"

Ralph (yells): "GEEEEEEET OUT!"

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie Gleason comes out. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: “HAPPY NEW YEAR! OH, HOW SWEET IT IS.”

(Everyone cheers.)

Jackie: “First, let’s introduce the guests. First, Ryan Seacrest.”

(Ryan comes out and shakes Jackie’s hand.)

Jackie: “America’s Oldest Teenager, Dick Clark.”

(Dick comes out and shakes Gleason’s hand.)

Dick: "By the way Jackie, I mean it. Next year, I think I will have a correspndent in Miami Beach."

(Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "That is wonderful. Isn't he great? Thank you."

Jackie: “Jean Kean.”

(Jean comes out and kisses Gleason.)

Jackie: “Audrey Meadows.”

(Audrey comes out and kisses Gleason.)

Jackie: “Art Carney.”

(Art comes out and shakes Gleason’s hand.)

Jackie: “As usual, the Miami Beach audiences are the best. Good night!”

"Young Man With A Horn":

Ralph: "I am making a list of all my weak points."

Ed: "Oh, is that all the paper you are going to use?"

"The Safety Award":

(The girls have on the same dress.)

Ralph: "Don't those dresses look alike?"

Ed: "Alike? They are like the Bobsie Twins."

"Stars Over Flatbush":

Ed: "I was born under the sign of Pieces The Fish."

Ralph: "You were born under the sign of Pistachio The Nut."

"Stars Over Flatbush":

Ralph: "Since I found out that I am Taurus The Bull, I have become a new man."

Alice: "You may be a new man but it's the same old bull."

"This Is Your Life Part 1":

Ralph: "14 years, I have fractured myself driving a bus, just to take care of her. All ofa sudden today, I see her coming out of a restuarant and go into a cab with another guy. That's loyalty for you."

Ed: "The least she could have done was take a bus."

"The Safety Award":

Ed: "Somebody down at the bus depot had an idead for a plaque to put on Ralph's bus that says: 'You are now driving with the World's Safest Bus Driver: Ralph Kramden.'"

Alice: "Oh, a plaque like that. I like that. Ed, you can tell me, who thought of the idea?"

Ed: "Ralph."

"The Main Event":

Ralph: "Alice, come on out. Dynamite is here."

(Alice slams the bedroom door.)

Ralph: "I guess that she is still asleep."

"Sleepy Time Gal":

G.F.: "I am going to put you in a state of hypnosis."

Ed: "Promise you won't hurt me?"

"Boy Next Door":

Ralph: "My dad once said this: 'For one of a sock, a shoe was lost. For one of a shoe, a horse was lost. For one of a horse, a war was lost. For one of a war...for one of a war...it was all lost.'"

Alice: "Yeah? Why don't you get lost?"