Singers Who Can't Sing

[catlover79]

Posted Sat Dec 27, 2008 10:54am PST by Shawn Amos in GetBack


Everyone is still having a fit about Kanye West's SNL performance of "Heartless" the other week. Did he lip-synch? Didn't he? The debate misses the bigger issue: Kanye can't sing.

Truth be told, ability is not always the most important thing when it comes to singing. The proper amount of attitude, charm, and self-deprecation go a long way to replace actual vocal chops. Ask David Lee Roth and Bob Dylan, two dudes who can't sing a note but make up for it with sheer chutzpah (and in Dylan's case, an ungodly amount of lyrical prowess). Singers who know they can't sing are always forgiven.

Kanye, however, broke the cardinal rule of bad singing. He stepped outside of his preapproved vocal zone.

No one expects Kanye to sing. In fact, no one wants Kanye to sing, because we know he can't. Write an insanely catchy melody? Yes. Continue to be the biggest ego on the planet? Yes. These are the things we want from our Kanye. But when he begins to think he can pull off a ballad by actually singing it? That's when he's gone too far.

There are two kinds of bad singers in the world: the ones who kid themselves into thinking they're good (Kanye) and the ones who try too hard — all the time. These are the Mariahs, Beyonces, and Christinas (although Ms. Aguilera is learning; her Nina Simone tribute on the Grammy nomination show this month was remarkably restrained). These performers wring the last bit of life out of every note. Just because you can sing every octave perceptible to the human ear doesn't mean you have to. These singers don't know when to hold back. They are perpetual vocal grandstanders, sucking all of the oxygen out of the room.

Here are some other legendary bad singers. I'll avoid easy targets, like Yoko Ono and Michael Bolton. Yes, she inspired the B-52s. Who cares? And Bolton has received his punishment for butchering so many songs by being relegated to "Where are they now?" status. Time has passed him by, and we won't be hearing from him again.

These folks are ones who won't go away and, worse yet, won't learn to sing. Know your enemy, my friends. Protect yourselves. And check out the complete list here.



CELINE DION

She's the grande dame of song killers, insisting on suffocating every song with sincerity. Oh, Celine is so sincere. She demands that you love her and her songs. She forces herself on a song like a bad date.













MADONNA
The problem with Madonna (or, I should say, one of the many problems) is that she’s built a career on being a diva, and divas need to sing. No amount of line dancing, costume changes, or bodybuilding can hide the fact that she can't sing.











ANTHONY KEIDIS
The Red Hot Chili Peppers is one of the most musical bands around. Flea, Frusciante, and Chad are the some of the most talented dudes to ever groove together. If only they had a better singer. I could deal with Anthony until "Under the Bridge.” A great tune but way outside of his approved vocal zone. He’s much better when he's doing his "Give It Away" mumble-rap thing.











FRED DURST
Here's another one of these "I think I'll sing a ballad 'cause I can rap" dudes. And to add insult to injury, he tried out his vocal chops on the Who's epic "Behind Blue Eyes.” Aside from the fact that he has no inherent sensitivity to the song, HE CAN'T SING! It makes me mad to this day.











CHRIS BROWN

There was a time when a certain type of entertainer was called a "song-and-dance man.” The description assumed that the entertainer actually knew how to sing and how to dance. Michael Jackson, Cab Calloway, Jackie Wilson, James Brown? All song-and-dance men. I'll even give you Justin Timberlake. Chris Brown? Dance man. Definitely a dance man. Keep dancing, Chris.

http://new.music.yahoo.com/blogs/get...who-cant-sing/

[EmoJoe]

Katy Perry is the worst offender.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nm5zujCf7sc

enough said, really.

[Nighthawk76]

As big of a Van Halen fan as most of you know that I am, I'll be the first one to admit that David Lee Roth isn't exactly a great singer. That's why he never had much of a solo career. What Dave did have was personality, which is what he brought to the music. Also, he was and still is a great showman. Sammy Hagar was and is a far, far better singer. Can any of you imagine Dave trying to sing "Dreams" or "Love Walks In"?

Also, is Mick Jagger really a great singer? The Stones were once a great band and Mick is certainly one of the greatest frontmen in rock history, but is the guy really that great of a singer? Just listen to some of Mick's solo work. Without Keith and Charlie behind him, there is no magic.

[Zoneboy]

Terrible singer and the song is even worse.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PWfB4lurT4

[imo]

Jagger isnt clasically the singer you want... but his voice packs a certain swagger and atttitude that really portrays the emotion of each song.

Same can be said for Kurt Cobain, who goes off key, and just tears your eardrums appart... but he makes his songs SO believable and so raw.

A legit bad singer? Most people on American Idol. David Archuletta imo

[Elvis Fonzie Dean]

Originally Posted by imo

Jagger isnt clasically the singer you want... but his voice packs a certain swagger and atttitude that really portrays the emotion of each song.

Same can be said for Kurt Cobain, who goes off key, and just tears your eardrums appart... but he makes his songs SO believable and so raw.

A legit bad singer? Most people on American Idol. David Archuletta imo

Well, I wouldn't say most, a few, but American Idol had quite a few good/great singers.I do agree with David Archuletta though.Lounge singer who sounds no different than any other modern lounger singer?No thanks.If that's the case I'd take John Stevens over him any day.

[Hollow]

hm

[waichingliu81]

i don't agree with putting chris brown on that list. for me, he has a great voice.

as for madonna, she has made some great songs in the 80s especially, but it was because of the catchiness of the lyrics and tunes that made her famous, as opposed to her vocals. i agree, she's not that great of a singer- she didn't have a great singing voice then, and she doesn't have one still. i don't want to sound like a hater because i do like listening to a lot of her hits.

[ABlairican Pie]

One doesn't need to have a great voice to play great music. That's what's so great about rock and roll. But it is weird that a guy like Fred Durst tries to be all "sensitive" and sing a ballad song by The Who. Well, "Behind Blue Eyes" is not entirely a ballad, but I can't picture him doing it. He's no Roger Daltrey.

[catlover79]

I am stunned that Britney Spears hasn't been mentioned up to now. As for Van Halen, I agree with Mike that Sammy Hagar is a superior vocalist compared to David Lee Roth.

[EmoJoe]

Originally Posted by safety pin

as a vocalist myself, i judge a singer's talent from a technical perspective, and i wish others could do the same because i think there's a difference between having bad tone quality and being "unable" to sing. most people don't know vocal technique/theory and how much work it sometimes takes to be able pull off some things in singing that may sound really easy to do. for example, some people may think that kelly clarkson can't sing. they have their right to that opinion as much as i do to my disagreement, but i think if some of them understood how much vocal training and potential it takes to hit an A5 note with chest resonation like she does (a typical female amateur can usually only go up to about an octave below that), she'd be given a bit more credit as far as her "ability" to sing.

who says Kelly Clarkson can't sing? o_O her voice has been kinda damaged through the years from oversinging and it's really "rough" now, but anyone who says she cant sing is really ignorant lol....just watch any of her early AI videos or anything from the Thankful/early Breakaway era.

and i dont think Mariah Carey, Xtina and Beyonce should be mentioned in an article about bad singers...their style may not be what a lot of people like but to say they're bad singers is just...incorrect. and i dont understand why Chris Brown is on the list either, he's a good vocalist.

[TJL]

There are quite a few pop princesses and divas out there who can only seem to carry a tune in the studio: thanks to a bank of supercomputers that make every note pitch perfect. Put them on a live mic? Well, Ashlee Simpson knows how that turned out.

[MickeyMac]

Jim Morrison should be on that list

He cant sing, and his bandmembers couldnt play.

an even bigger offender: Janis Joplin-talk about nails on the chalkboard.

[Nighthawk76]

Originally Posted by MickeyMac

Jim Morrison should be on that list

He cant sing, and his bandmembers couldnt play.

an even bigger offender: Janis Joplin-talk about nails on the chalkboard.

Not a big Doors fan, huh? I love the Doors. It's probably true that Jim wasn't the greatest singer the world has ever seen, but he was a great poet/songwriter and really knew how to work those songs. I think Ray Manzarek, John Densmore and Robby Krieger were each great musicians. Ray really made that the organ of his sing and John was the first drummer to really give Charlie Watts a run for his money.

[eltonfan80]

hannah montana
the jonas brothers
all suck and should be on that list of worst singers