So does this make me mean hearted?

[*Pleasant Tomorrow*]

My sister is 17 years old and she's inherited an idiot gene. Her boyfriend who's 18 has cheated on her at least six times, they've broken up at least six times, and she's taken him back at least six times. I treated this kid well the first time, even the second time...I STILL do if I'm forced to say hi or something. He's over our house everyday, sleeps over everyday...our house is tiny, there's no privacy but now I have to basically live with this punk. So I bitch about it to my mom, and all she has to say is that I'm mean hearted. She says that's what boys do, they cheat and that's just how they are. You can't expect people to be perfect, blah blah. He makes your sister happy so that's fine.

So I'm sitting here crying now because she just made me feel like a horrible human being because I don't let **** like that fly. I don't give sixth, fifth, fourth, third, or even second chances sometimes. My sister could do better. So I don't want him in the house constantly, I'm mean hearted. It's not like I even act rude to him, though I should. I'm too nice to him. I just don't understand how my mom and sister could be so completely stupid. Or are they right? Am I just some mean hearted, horrible person?

[Nighthawk76]

I don't think that you are a mean hearted person in the slightest. Infact, I think both your mother and sister are a little bit clueless. And it is certainly not true that all guys cheat.

[dakert]

Why your mom lets your 17 yr old sister's boyfriend sleep over is beyond me. Your Mom sounds weird, sorry. Does the creep aka boyfriend work or pay rent to your mom?
It just bugs me that people settle for less than they deserve

David

[Janice]

No, you're not mean-spirited. The punks seems to have bamboozled both your sister and your mother. I hate to say this, but I agree with David. When I was 17, I would never be able to have a boyfriend sleep over, much less every night.

[Hollow]

She says that's what boys do, they cheat and that's just how they are.

what on earth? this guy is 18, not 12. he should know better. cheating is a behavioral trait, not a character trait.

you're not mean-hearted at all. quite the opposite i think. it sounds like you're just the only one living in reality. your sister may have to learn from her own mistakes, however many it may take.

[Waterston_Fan]

Originally Posted by safety pin

what on earth? this guy is 18, not 12. he should know better. cheating is a behavioral trait, not a character trait.

you're not mean-hearted at all. quite the opposite i think. it sounds like you're just the only one living in reality. your sister may have to learn from her own mistakes, however many it may take.

No, you are not mean hearted or anything. I'm not a guy but I really don't think all guys cheat.

And your sister needs to get a clue but I guess she just doesn't see that her boyfriend is not really for her.

[*Pleasant Tomorrow*]

He's really good at acting polite. He doesn't live here, but he might as well. He does stuff around the house, I'll give him that...but that isn't going to change my mind. It's just so frustrating that my mom and sister have to be so stupid sometimes. Christ, I love them both...but they both say and do some stupid things.

[Dutabi84]

Originally Posted by *Pleasant Tomorrow*

My sister is 17 years old and she's inherited an idiot gene. Her boyfriend who's 18 has cheated on her at least six times, they've broken up at least six times, and she's taken him back at least six times. I treated this kid well the first time, even the second time...I STILL do if I'm forced to say hi or something. He's over our house everyday, sleeps over everyday...our house is tiny, there's no privacy but now I have to basically live with this punk. So I bitch about it to my mom, and all she has to say is that I'm mean hearted. She says that's what boys do, they cheat and that's just how they are. You can't expect people to be perfect, blah blah. He makes your sister happy so that's fine.

So I'm sitting here crying now because she just made me feel like a horrible human being because I don't let **** like that fly. I don't give sixth, fifth, fourth, third, or even second chances sometimes. My sister could do better. So I don't want him in the house constantly, I'm mean hearted. It's not like I even act rude to him, though I should. I'm too nice to him. I just don't understand how my mom and sister could be so completely stupid. Or are they right? Am I just some mean hearted, horrible person?

No offense, but your mom is being an idiot. It pisses me off when women say that all guys cheat, it's what they do, they're all pigs, blah blah blah. It's a slap in the face toward those of us that don't cheat.

No, you are definitely not a horrible person, at all. But at this point, your sister just plain has it coming.

[Waterston_Fan]

Originally Posted by *Pleasant Tomorrow*

He's really good at acting polite. He doesn't live here, but he might as well. He does stuff around the house, I'll give him that...but that isn't going to change my mind. It's just so frustrating that my mom and sister have to be so stupid sometimes. Christ, I love them both...but they both say and do some stupid things.

I was thinking though... I don't know when you graduate High School, you could always think that you can move with a friend when you start college.. if you decide to go and stuff.

I hope you don't mind me asking but did your mom and dad divorce? Did your dad cheat on your mom or something.

I'm sorry for asking like that about your dad.

[*Pleasant Tomorrow*]

Originally Posted by Waterston_Fan

I was thinking though... I don't know when you graduate High School, you could always think that you can move with a friend when you start college.. if you decide to go and stuff.

I hope you don't mind me asking but did your mom and dad divorce? Did your dad cheat on your mom or something.

I'm sorry for asking like that about your dad.

I'm actually already in college. I'm home on break.

And no, I don't mind. My parents are divorced...not because of cheating, my dad's just a jerk. My mom's serious boyfriend after that turned out to be a jerk, too. I'd say neither my sister nor my mom know how to pick them.

And my dad's no help. He hates the guy my sister's dating, and he hates that he's over here...but all he does is whine about it, he doesn't intervene. He doesn't live here so I guess it's not much of a problem for him.

[dawsongirl]

Originally Posted by *Pleasant Tomorrow*

My sister is 17 years old and she's inherited an idiot gene. Her boyfriend who's 18 has cheated on her at least six times, they've broken up at least six times, and she's taken him back at least six times. I treated this kid well the first time, even the second time...I STILL do if I'm forced to say hi or something. He's over our house everyday, sleeps over everyday...our house is tiny, there's no privacy but now I have to basically live with this punk. So I bitch about it to my mom, and all she has to say is that I'm mean hearted. She says that's what boys do, they cheat and that's just how they are. You can't expect people to be perfect, blah blah. He makes your sister happy so that's fine.

So I'm sitting here crying now because she just made me feel like a horrible human being because I don't let **** like that fly. I don't give sixth, fifth, fourth, third, or even second chances sometimes. My sister could do better. So I don't want him in the house constantly, I'm mean hearted. It's not like I even act rude to him, though I should. I'm too nice to him. I just don't understand how my mom and sister could be so completely stupid. Or are they right? Am I just some mean hearted, horrible person?

That's how boys are???? You have got to be kidding me. Your mom just sent women back 100 years. Ugh...barf.

I don't think you're being mean at all. I'd tell him to go get his own house or start paying rent. I doubt I'd be very nice to him either, so you're better than me. Ugh...what a loser!

[PZelda]

Not mean-hearted at all. If I were you, I'd actually be asking your mom why the hell she lets a 17yo have her boyfriend SLEEPING OVER. That kind of **** isn't supposed to fly when you're still in high school - and I'm assuming she's still in high school (HS senior, yeah?). Do they get to sleep in the same bed and all that? Because geez. Save that stuff for college. If *I* had a 17yo daughter, no way in hell I'd let her get away with THAT. In fact, I'd make sure she only had a twin-sized bed until she moved out.

I had a roomie... she has been dating this guy for uhhhh... 4 1/2 years by now? It wasn't bad when we moved in together. He'd come over and spend the night with her 2x, 3x a week, if that. And keep in mind I was 22 and she was 23 and we were both past the age of being undergrads. So, ya know, whatever. But in the last 3ish months or so that we lived together, the frequency of his visits would increase. To the point where I'm thinking to myself, "Where's YOUR share of the rent, bitch?" because he was sleeping here so much, leaving his food and possessions here, etc. I'm like, "Uhhhhh... when I moved in with my roomie, I was under the assumption it was just going to be me and her. That there would be no live-in boyfriend." *sigh*

THANK GOD I was sick over Thanksgiving... That was the last full week I lived with her (she was and is a GREAT roomie... it was her boyfriend I had problems with). When I was sick, her boyfriend didn't come to our place. At all. So I could recover in peace and not have to shove his **** out of the way, in the fridge, etc.

Ugh. WHen I move out again, I am gonna get my own freaking apartment. So nobody has to give a **** if I have a live-in boyfriend or anything like that. Jesus.

[Waterston_Fan]

Originally Posted by *Pleasant Tomorrow*

I'm actually already in college. I'm home on break.

And no, I don't mind. My parents are divorced...not because of cheating, my dad's just a jerk. My mom's serious boyfriend after that turned out to be a jerk, too. I'd say neither my sister nor my mom know how to pick them.

And my dad's no help. He hates the guy my sister's dating, and he hates that he's over here...but all he does is whine about it, he doesn't intervene. He doesn't live here so I guess it's not much of a problem for him.

Oh, okay...

Yeah, I would think if it was, he would intervene.

I gotta ask, have you seen the show Leave it To Beaver?

I just got an Eddie Haskell thought when you said your sister's boyfriend just does good in being polite to Mrs. Cleaver all the time...

[PlayOn]

no. you're not being mean-spirited. you're her older sister and you care about her well being, correct? i can't believe you're Mom said "all men cheat!" being a male, i would never cheat on my girlfriend.
and i'd ask her why she'd let an 18 year old boy sleep over with her 17 year old daughter. stuff like that doesn't happen every day.

[OH Nuts!]

Originally Posted by *Pleasant Tomorrow*

My sister is 17 years old and she's inherited an idiot gene. Her boyfriend who's 18 has cheated on her at least six times, they've broken up at least six times, and she's taken him back at least six times. I treated this kid well the first time, even the second time...I STILL do if I'm forced to say hi or something. He's over our house everyday, sleeps over everyday...our house is tiny, there's no privacy but now I have to basically live with this punk. So I bitch about it to my mom, and all she has to say is that I'm mean hearted. She says that's what boys do, they cheat and that's just how they are. You can't expect people to be perfect, blah blah. He makes your sister happy so that's fine.

So I'm sitting here crying now because she just made me feel like a horrible human being because I don't let **** like that fly. I don't give sixth, fifth, fourth, third, or even second chances sometimes. My sister could do better. So I don't want him in the house constantly, I'm mean hearted. It's not like I even act rude to him, though I should. I'm too nice to him. I just don't understand how my mom and sister could be so completely stupid. Or are they right? Am I just some mean hearted, horrible person?

Sounds to me like what you have is a good level head & lots of common sense. It also sounds like sis and mom need to take a ride on the clue train. The guys no good. At least you can let your hair down here, as it seems like we get it. As Ann Landers would say your mom & sister need to wake up and smell the coffee. Hang in there. You deserve many stars for being civil to him...shows you're a class act...at least you won't make the same mistakes!