Changing your last name, women keeping their maiden names, etc. Opinions? - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

so elektrikkxx · 12-12-2008, 09:17 PM

I fully support women choosing to keep their maiden name when they get married. I don't think it's fair that a woman should have to change her last name, nor should a husband force the wife to do so. I always say that if a woman has to take her husband's last name when she gets married, he should be forced to take hers as well

My dad told my mom he wouldn't marry her if she didn't take his last name.
Personally I want to change my last name, as I don't feel I should do my dad the honor of passing his name down to future generations. Since he had little to nothing to do with my upbringing and I don't feel any connection to him and I don't want to be associated with him my whole life, I don't see anything wrong with my desire to change my name.

What do you all think? Do you think women should be able to keep their maiden names? How about giving the child the mother's surname?

Even though I'm a guy, I'd love to do away with many of the male-based traditions that I feel are unfair.

dawsongirl · 12-12-2008, 09:19 PM

I have no desire to take a new last name just because I got married. He doesn't own me. As for children...idk, it's a toss up, but I think giving kids hyphinated names is dumb.

so elektrikkxx · 12-12-2008, 09:22 PM

I think the children's names should be up to the parents to decide between themselves, it shouldn't just automatically be the father's name.

It's funny, my dad always said "women should take their husbands name to honor their husband", but what makes the husband more worthy of being "honored" than his wife?

Hollow · 12-12-2008, 09:32 PM

taking the woman's last name or having different last names kind of messes up the family tree, imo. i have the most awesome last name i've ever heard of and i'm enjoying it while i'm not married, but i would definitely take my husband's. i just think it would help keep things in order, plus i like the tradition anyway. it's a personal decision though and no one should be forced to have a name they don't want.

PZelda · 12-12-2008, 10:28 PM

I remember a thread like this being posted not too long ago, altho it was a news article and not an actual discussion. IIRC, my state is one of the few that currently allows a man to legally take his wife's surname.

Me... I really have no idea. Changing surnames is expensive, I heard, and is a lot of paperwork to go through. It can be pretty bad if someone gets divorced and wants to return to their maiden name. I do love mine, though, but if my SO had a really awesome surname, I'd definitely consider it.

so elektrikkxx · 12-12-2008, 10:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PZelda

I remember a thread like this being posted not too long ago, altho it was a news article and not an actual discussion. IIRC, my state is one of the few that currently allows a man to legally take his wife's surname.

Me... I really have no idea. Changing surnames is expensive, I heard, and is a lot of paperwork to go through. It can be pretty bad if someone gets divorced and wants to return to their maiden name. I do love mine, though, but if my SO had a really awesome surname, I'd definitely consider it.

i want to change my last name, mostly because i don't see why i should keep the last name of a parent who never had anything to do with me growing up. how expensive is it though?

Crimson and Clover · 12-12-2008, 10:31 PM

I changed my last name when I got married, wish I hadnt now.

LuLu Rogers · 12-12-2008, 10:42 PM

Whenever I get married I will be taking my husband's last name. I like things to be traditional.

PZelda · 12-12-2008, 10:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vernacular decay

i want to change my last name, mostly because i don't see why i should keep the last name of a parent who never had anything to do with me growing up. how expensive is it though?

Not really sure. From what I am finding out, it costs nothing for the female to take her husband's surname when they get married. And it is the same for the male wanting to take his wife's surname, in the states that allow this.

But if you want to legally change your surname when marriage isn't involved, it can cost a little bit (I'm getting conflicting answers on this) and it is a lengthy process with paperwork.

Not really sure what the costs or paperwork are like with divorces and trying to return to your maiden name. All I can really say is that it varies from state to state. You would probably need to contact the local courthouse regarding costs/paperwork.

catlover79 · 12-12-2008, 11:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LuLu Rogers

Whenever I get married I will be taking my husband's last name. I like things to be traditional.

Same here...if I loved a man enough to marry him, I'd be honored to take his name. That's just ME...everyone else is entitled to their opinions.

LuLu Rogers · 12-12-2008, 11:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by catlover79

Same here...if I loved a man enough to marry him, I'd be honored to take his name.

Exactly

catlover79 · 12-12-2008, 11:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LuLu Rogers

Exactly

I'm getting all mushy here, Lu.

*Pleasant Tomorrow* · 12-13-2008, 12:02 AM

When you think about it, a lot of the marriage traditions are all old, out of date things that almost demean a woman. I mean, the father has to GIVE her away. Like she's a piece of property. That's where it all originated. *burns bra*

Seriously, since it's all just tradition now and not associated with its old origination, who cares? Yeah I'll take my husbands name, but mostly just because I don't like my last name already.

catlover79 · 12-13-2008, 12:04 AM

^ That's always a good reason, too.

LuLu Rogers · 12-13-2008, 01:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by catlover79

I'm getting all mushy here, Lu.

Aw, gee

12-12-2008, 09:17 PM	#1
so elektrikkxx Member Forum Regular Join Date: Jan 01, 2008 Posts: 554	Changing your last name, women keeping their maiden names, etc. Opinions? I fully support women choosing to keep their maiden name when they get married. I don't think it's fair that a woman should have to change her last name, nor should a husband force the wife to do so. I always say that if a woman has to take her husband's last name when she gets married, he should be forced to take hers as well My dad told my mom he wouldn't marry her if she didn't take his last name. Personally I want to change my last name, as I don't feel I should do my dad the honor of passing his name down to future generations. Since he had little to nothing to do with my upbringing and I don't feel any connection to him and I don't want to be associated with him my whole life, I don't see anything wrong with my desire to change my name. What do you all think? Do you think women should be able to keep their maiden names? How about giving the child the mother's surname? Even though I'm a guy, I'd love to do away with many of the male-based traditions that I feel are unfair.
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12-12-2008, 10:28 PM	#5
PZelda Two Valeries! <3 Forum Addict Join Date: Jul 15, 2002 Location: I'm STILL missing NYC. :( Posts: 78,223	I remember a thread like this being posted not too long ago, altho it was a news article and not an actual discussion. IIRC, my state is one of the few that currently allows a man to legally take his wife's surname. Me... I really have no idea. Changing surnames is expensive, I heard, and is a lot of paperwork to go through. It can be pretty bad if someone gets divorced and wants to return to their maiden name. I do love mine, though, but if my SO had a really awesome surname, I'd definitely consider it.
	__________________ Cheers behind the couch!

12-12-2008, 10:42 PM	#8
LuLu Rogers Colonel Brandon Forum Fanatic Join Date: Mar 23, 2004 Location: The Hogwarts Dungeons Posts: 11,013	Whenever I get married I will be taking my husband's last name. I like things to be traditional.
	__________________ -Lauren- "I can teach you how to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses. I can tell you how to bottle fame, brew glory, and even put a stopper in death."-Professor Severus Snape

12-13-2008, 12:02 AM	#13
Pleasant Tomorrow Member Forum Addict Join Date: Feb 19, 2003 Location: New York Posts: 69,525	When you think about it, a lot of the marriage traditions are all old, out of date things that almost demean a woman. I mean, the father has to GIVE her away. Like she's a piece of property. That's where it all originated. burns bra Seriously, since it's all just tradition now and not associated with its old origination, who cares? Yeah I'll take my husbands name, but mostly just because I don't like my last name already.
	__________________ my name is ashlee Welcome! Everything is fine.

12-12-2008, 09:19 PM	#2
dawsongirl Member Forum Icon Join Date: Jan 04, 2001 Posts: 53,140	I have no desire to take a new last name just because I got married. He doesn't own me. As for children...idk, it's a toss up, but I think giving kids hyphinated names is dumb.

12-12-2008, 09:22 PM	#3
so elektrikkxx Member Forum Regular Join Date: Jan 01, 2008 Posts: 554	I think the children's names should be up to the parents to decide between themselves, it shouldn't just automatically be the father's name. It's funny, my dad always said "women should take their husbands name to honor their husband", but what makes the husband more worthy of being "honored" than his wife?

12-12-2008, 09:32 PM	#4
Hollow Member Forum Superstar Join Date: Dec 16, 2001 Posts: 30,406	taking the woman's last name or having different last names kind of messes up the family tree, imo. i have the most awesome last name i've ever heard of and i'm enjoying it while i'm not married, but i would definitely take my husband's. i just think it would help keep things in order, plus i like the tradition anyway. it's a personal decision though and no one should be forced to have a name they don't want.

12-12-2008, 10:31 PM	#7
Crimson and Clover Member Forum Star Join Date: Jun 09, 2002 Location: NC Posts: 17,345	I changed my last name when I got married, wish I hadnt now.

12-13-2008, 12:04 AM	#14
catlover79 God Bless Val Forum Addict Join Date: May 29, 2006 Location: Bewitched in Ohio Posts: 70,392	^ That's always a good reason, too.