Cutting a person out of your life - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

browneyes106 · 12-08-2008, 06:57 PM

Have any of you ever cut a person out of your life? Right now I'm thinking about cutting my brother out of my life. My brother got married last year around this time. The woman he married has caused a lot of problems for our family. The reason her and my brother got engaged and married is because my brother was dating another woman at the time as her and she became pregnant with my brother's child. The other woman told my brother of her pregnancy right away and my brother told her that he was seeing another woman. My brother broke with his wife and for a couple of weeks he was very supportive of the woman carrying his child. One day out of the blue he called her up and told her that he didn't believe he was the father and that he wanted a paternity test. This happened in December 06 and later that month he told my family that he was engaged. He never told us about the woman that was pregnant. At first I found it weird that my brother was suddenly engaged. The woman lived three hours away from him and two kids. We didn't actually met the woman until March 2007 and at that time they originally said they were going to be married in April 2008. Then a couple of months later they announced they were going to be married in September '07. For the next few months we started noticing weird things about her. She was planning the wedding but only involving her side of the family and she would avoid talking to my a lot of my relatives. My brother at the time was living in a mobile home near my parents' house. My parents own the mobile home. The woman and her younger two kids suddenly moved in with my brother. Then in late July my brother and her came over to my parents' house and they made a shocking revelation. He told my parents that he was a father of a baby boy and he intially lied and said it was a one night stand with the other woman. Around this time my brother and fiance were planning to get married in a local Catholic church. About a week or two later the priest called my parents for a meeting. He told that them that were a lot of things that seemed off to him. He told that my brother's fiancee wasn't registered at any parishes in her city and that she failed to turn in annulment/divorce papers from her previous marriage. My parents told the priest about my brother's child and the priest said that he believes that my brother's fiancee somehow lured him into a marriage. The priest then told my parents that he wouldn't marry them if she didn't turn in the the proper papers. Later on my brother's coworkers told my mother that his fiance was constantly calling the office and bugging me all hours. Two weeks later my brother's son was baptized and we attended the baptism. The mother's baby invited my parents and I to a reception afterwards. We went to her home and there she showed his emails that her and my brother knew each other since May 2006. She told us that my brother had been suiportive of her for two weeks after finding out she was pregnant and then all of sudden he denied paternity and said he gotten back together with his ex-girlfriend. He even told her to get an abortion. The next few months after that my brother and his fiance began cutting my family down and refused to let see his baby. They got married in December 07 . In the few months before that we tried to talk him out of getting married. Since he got married he doesn't allow us to see his son. Thankfully the mother of his child allows us to the baby anytime we want to. My brother, his wife and her daughter continued to live in the house owned by my parents. My parents didn't kick them out because my brother has bad debts. My mom got fed up with May of this year and threw them out of the house. They are living in the same town in a rental house. My brother has borrowed money from various relatives and his wife isn't working. I believe that they will divorce eventually when their financial problems become too much . Back in early October my nephew's mother called my parents and had said the weekend before my brother dropped off his son and that his son had a temporary tattoo on his back and that my brother said that his wife's niece and nephew had put it on his back. I think my brother is stupid to allow his wife's family to do stuff to his son. But I think if they do I will never be able to forgive my brother for what he has done to my family. Have any of you cut someone out of your life?

Hollow · 12-08-2008, 07:13 PM

i cut ties with my best friend, at least temporarily, last summer. not out of resentment but i really needed time away from him to cleanse my mind of a lot of things that had happened between us over the years (and secretly i'm waiting for him to grow up a little too). we've spoken maybe once a month on average since then and it's really been working.

sunshinefizzy · 12-08-2008, 07:40 PM

I have cut people out of my life my life before. It's not always easy but if you know that you'll be better off in the long run without the person, you go with your gut and run. It's hard but sometimes it's just the road you have to take and know that everything will be okay no matter what.

browneyes106 · 12-08-2008, 09:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sunshinefizzy

I have cut people out of my life my life before. It's not always easy but if you know that you'll be better off in the long run without the person, you go with your gut and run. It's hard but sometimes it's just the road you have to take and know that everything will be okay no matter what.

I think it will better that I cut out my brother for good. I do believe his marriage will not last. There are too many red flags with the women he is married to her. Her older two older children are from her ex husband the younger two each have a different dad. I think her past history isn't great.

*Pleasant Tomorrow* · 12-08-2008, 09:27 PM

I was basically in love with one of my friends. He told me he liked me too, but that he didn't want to date me right away and so I accepted that. So in the mean time I'm a stupid girl and expect myself to be a priority to him, when in reality I'm not. He was extremely flirty with me, which I've come to find that guys just like to act that way for the hell of it. He asks another girl out and I accept it because he said he'd be dating other people in the mean time, but really I was extremely hurt because the way he acted towards me indicated he probably wouldn't be asking anyone else out and so it totally threw me off. I got a little pissed but we still managed to remain friends. But then things go so tense because of it and we fought, so I told him it's better we just don't talk for awhile. Part of it is that I don't want to give him the satisfaction that he can get away with treating a person the way he treated me and still have me in his life, and the other part is that it'd hurt too much to see him and never be able to have him, because after we fought he told me it was never going to happen now. So, I need to get over it and give myself time to heal. The more I think about it the more I realize that he really was just a *****. He might not sound so bad from the way I described it, but there's quite a bit of details I left out that would make it more understandable. I don't know if I ever want to see him again, honestly, though deep down I still care about him. **** my life.

Waterston_Fan · 12-08-2008, 09:36 PM

This will probably sound really selfish but there are times where I kinda want to shut out my eldest sister because she usally treats me like a baby. I have some disabilties and I am the baby of the family and my sister can't see me as an adult. But then she always does seem to have to be the boss of everyone and she does have a good job and has a home. There has been talk that when my mom retires, she and I will go to North Carolina to live since my sister would be on top of everything if something should happen to my mom. My mom is in good health.

My middle sister doesn't have a home, she rents and probably will rent for the rest of her life.. LOL She and her husband just cannot or do not know how to be financially responsible. She does have a job and kids are already moved out.

Me, I have a part time job and I am on disability which prevents me from even owning a home or even a car.

And I don't really want to live with my dad and stepmom, it'd just feel too werid.

I just feel like I want to be on my own and not worry about anything. I do have nephews but they are in their 20's and starting their life and stuff and I don't really want to have to live with them or even with my cousin who is in his late 30's and we do get along pretty good.

I'm just the type that doesn't like to ask for favors and stuff.

But then I guess I should be lucky that I do have an older sister who is willing to take me in and help with my mom if my mom becomes ill.

TripperFan · 12-08-2008, 10:11 PM

My brother and I cut each other out of our lives about 7 years ago now.

It's been truly wonderful!!!

dawsongirl · 12-08-2008, 10:18 PM

Yeah, my one uncle, but we were never close or anything, so good riddance. He's a worthless, lazy druggie. He gets all the family against each other just for lulz or something. He's a mooch. He was treating my mom like scum. He can just die for all I care. I know that sounds bad, but I fail to see where this man has done any good for anyone or anything. So I just don't claim him.

TripperFan · 12-09-2008, 11:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dawsongirl

Yeah, my one uncle, but we were never close or anything, so good riddance. He's a worthless, lazy druggie. He gets all the family against each other just for lulz or something. He's a mooch. He was treating my mom like scum. He can just die for all I care. I know that sounds bad, but I fail to see where this man has done any good for anyone or anything. So I just don't claim him.

You sure your uncle isn't my brother?!! LOL

Describes the bum perfectly! Not only is my brother just like that, but when my mom was alive, he twice went to punch her in the face and just missed her - once putting a huge crack in his bedroom wall and the second time broke all his knuckles. He used to torture me as a kid too by beating me up or when I came home from school for lunch, wouldn't allow me to use any dishes (because his job was to wash them) so I'd eat cold beans out of a tin can with my fingers. Once he wouldn't allow me to eat anything so I went back to school and fainted in class that afternoon. That's when he finally got caught. I think my dad started making me sandwiches after that.

TripperFan · 12-09-2008, 11:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Waterston_Fan

This will probably sound really selfish but there are times where I kinda want to shut out my eldest sister because she usally treats me like a baby. I have some disabilties and I am the baby of the family and my sister can't see me as an adult. But then she always does seem to have to be the boss of everyone and she does have a good job and has a home. There has been talk that when my mom retires, she and I will go to North Carolina to live since my sister would be on top of everything if something should happen to my mom. My mom is in good health.

My middle sister doesn't have a home, she rents and probably will rent for the rest of her life.. LOL She and her husband just cannot or do not know how to be financially responsible. She does have a job and kids are already moved out.

Me, I have a part time job and I am on disability which prevents me from even owning a home or even a car.

And I don't really want to live with my dad and stepmom, it'd just feel too werid.

I just feel like I want to be on my own and not worry about anything. I do have nephews but they are in their 20's and starting their life and stuff and I don't really want to have to live with them or even with my cousin who is in his late 30's and we do get along pretty good.

I'm just the type that doesn't like to ask for favors and stuff.

But then I guess I should be lucky that I do have an older sister who is willing to take me in and help with my mom if my mom becomes ill.

It actually must be hard for the both of you. You're a man, yet with your disabilities, your sister feels especially protective of you. I know you feel babied by her, but she probably really means well and loves you.

Are there assisted living centres in your area? Sometimes you can live there and get some work. They help you out with your rent and needs and even have vehicles and volunteers who could drive you around.

ekkostar · 12-09-2008, 12:45 PM

I've never met my father, but from what my mother tells me, he wasn't a very good person and he treated her badly, so I wouldn't want to bring up any further drama by breaking the estrangement. I know I'm an adult, but I just don't want to deal with that bull because I have other things to deal with such as getting my own life off the ground.

Waterston_Fan · 12-09-2008, 05:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TripperFan

It actually must be hard for the both of you. You're a man, yet with your disabilities, your sister feels especially protective of you. I know you feel babied by her, but she probably really means well and loves you.

Are there assisted living centres in your area? Sometimes you can live there and get some work. They help you out with your rent and needs and even have vehicles and volunteers who could drive you around.

Uh.. hehe.. sorry.. I'm a lady.

Anyway, Yeah you are right though. Well, I do work and don't know if there is any assisted living centres in my area. But if mom and I do move to North CArolina, I don't know if there is any assisted living centres near where my sister lives.

TripperFan · 12-09-2008, 10:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Waterston_Fan

Uh.. hehe.. sorry.. I'm a lady.

Anyway, Yeah you are right though. Well, I do work and don't know if there is any assisted living centres in my area. But if mom and I do move to North CArolina, I don't know if there is any assisted living centres near where my sister lives.

WHOOPS! LOL Sorry 'bout that! (for some reason I think of you as a guy because you're a good debater on the politics board

)

Maybe your mom and/or sister could look into these things for you. Maybe some research on the internet thru "Google" or a local search engine in your area. I know here at the very least, you would definitely qualify for "TransHelp" which is transportation as often and when you need it. They pick you up at home and drop you off at your destination if not for free, then a small fee only. It would at least give you a little more independence.

Doodyville10019 · 12-09-2008, 11:51 PM

Yes, I cut my EX-brother out of my life years ago. I disowned him and disinherited him. I do not consider him as a brother anymore. I have though one remaining brother and one sister.

The reason I cut my EX out of my life is because he was very abusive to me, especially when he was either high on cocaine or drunk. He would play loud music at all hours of the night and when i told him to stop he and I would fight and I always got teh short end of it. He stole a lot of things of mine, too - money, t-shirts, food and more. Now I hear he has diabetes and chirrosis of the liver. At this point I don't even care.

Waterston_Fan · 12-10-2008, 12:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TripperFan

WHOOPS! LOL Sorry 'bout that! (for some reason I think of you as a guy because you're a good debater on the politics board

)

Maybe your mom and/or sister could look into these things for you. Maybe some research on the internet thru "Google" or a local search engine in your area. I know here at the very least, you would definitely qualify for "TransHelp" which is transportation as often and when you need it. They pick you up at home and drop you off at your destination if not for free, then a small fee only. It would at least give you a little more independence.

Don't worry about it.. Happens all the time.

Yeah, I'll have to look into that, thanks..

12-08-2008, 06:57 PM	#1
browneyes106 Member Forum Veteran Join Date: Apr 01, 2008 Posts: 6,094	Cutting a person out of your life Have any of you ever cut a person out of your life? Right now I'm thinking about cutting my brother out of my life. My brother got married last year around this time. The woman he married has caused a lot of problems for our family. The reason her and my brother got engaged and married is because my brother was dating another woman at the time as her and she became pregnant with my brother's child. The other woman told my brother of her pregnancy right away and my brother told her that he was seeing another woman. My brother broke with his wife and for a couple of weeks he was very supportive of the woman carrying his child. One day out of the blue he called her up and told her that he didn't believe he was the father and that he wanted a paternity test. This happened in December 06 and later that month he told my family that he was engaged. He never told us about the woman that was pregnant. At first I found it weird that my brother was suddenly engaged. The woman lived three hours away from him and two kids. We didn't actually met the woman until March 2007 and at that time they originally said they were going to be married in April 2008. Then a couple of months later they announced they were going to be married in September '07. For the next few months we started noticing weird things about her. She was planning the wedding but only involving her side of the family and she would avoid talking to my a lot of my relatives. My brother at the time was living in a mobile home near my parents' house. My parents own the mobile home. The woman and her younger two kids suddenly moved in with my brother. Then in late July my brother and her came over to my parents' house and they made a shocking revelation. He told my parents that he was a father of a baby boy and he intially lied and said it was a one night stand with the other woman. Around this time my brother and fiance were planning to get married in a local Catholic church. About a week or two later the priest called my parents for a meeting. He told that them that were a lot of things that seemed off to him. He told that my brother's fiancee wasn't registered at any parishes in her city and that she failed to turn in annulment/divorce papers from her previous marriage. My parents told the priest about my brother's child and the priest said that he believes that my brother's fiancee somehow lured him into a marriage. The priest then told my parents that he wouldn't marry them if she didn't turn in the the proper papers. Later on my brother's coworkers told my mother that his fiance was constantly calling the office and bugging me all hours. Two weeks later my brother's son was baptized and we attended the baptism. The mother's baby invited my parents and I to a reception afterwards. We went to her home and there she showed his emails that her and my brother knew each other since May 2006. She told us that my brother had been suiportive of her for two weeks after finding out she was pregnant and then all of sudden he denied paternity and said he gotten back together with his ex-girlfriend. He even told her to get an abortion. The next few months after that my brother and his fiance began cutting my family down and refused to let see his baby. They got married in December 07 . In the few months before that we tried to talk him out of getting married. Since he got married he doesn't allow us to see his son. Thankfully the mother of his child allows us to the baby anytime we want to. My brother, his wife and her daughter continued to live in the house owned by my parents. My parents didn't kick them out because my brother has bad debts. My mom got fed up with May of this year and threw them out of the house. They are living in the same town in a rental house. My brother has borrowed money from various relatives and his wife isn't working. I believe that they will divorce eventually when their financial problems become too much . Back in early October my nephew's mother called my parents and had said the weekend before my brother dropped off his son and that his son had a temporary tattoo on his back and that my brother said that his wife's niece and nephew had put it on his back. I think my brother is stupid to allow his wife's family to do stuff to his son. But I think if they do I will never be able to forgive my brother for what he has done to my family. Have any of you cut someone out of your life?

12-08-2008, 09:27 PM	#5
Pleasant Tomorrow Member Forum Addict Join Date: Feb 19, 2003 Location: New York Posts: 69,525	I was basically in love with one of my friends. He told me he liked me too, but that he didn't want to date me right away and so I accepted that. So in the mean time I'm a stupid girl and expect myself to be a priority to him, when in reality I'm not. He was extremely flirty with me, which I've come to find that guys just like to act that way for the hell of it. He asks another girl out and I accept it because he said he'd be dating other people in the mean time, but really I was extremely hurt because the way he acted towards me indicated he probably wouldn't be asking anyone else out and so it totally threw me off. I got a little pissed but we still managed to remain friends. But then things go so tense because of it and we fought, so I told him it's better we just don't talk for awhile. Part of it is that I don't want to give him the satisfaction that he can get away with treating a person the way he treated me and still have me in his life, and the other part is that it'd hurt too much to see him and never be able to have him, because after we fought he told me it was never going to happen now. So, I need to get over it and give myself time to heal. The more I think about it the more I realize that he really was just a ***. He might not sound so bad from the way I described it, but there's quite a bit of details I left out that would make it more understandable. I don't know if I ever want to see him again, honestly, though deep down I still care about him. ** my life.
	__________________ my name is ashlee Welcome! Everything is fine.

12-08-2008, 10:11 PM	#7
TripperFan In God's Arms Now Forum Star Join Date: Sep 14, 2003 Location: Heartbreak Ridge Posts: 12,086	My brother and I cut each other out of our lives about 7 years ago now. It's been truly wonderful!!!
	__________________ If I don't see you in this world, I'll meet you in the next one.....don't be late James Marshall Hendrix Voodoo Chile The Forum Legend formerly known as TripperFan "religion is for people who are afraid of hell--spirituality is for people who have been through hell"---anonymous

12-09-2008, 12:45 PM	#11
ekkostar Coffee, Tea & Larroquette! Senior Member Join Date: Apr 16, 2005 Posts: 1,077	I've never met my father, but from what my mother tells me, he wasn't a very good person and he treated her badly, so I wouldn't want to bring up any further drama by breaking the estrangement. I know I'm an adult, but I just don't want to deal with that bull because I have other things to deal with such as getting my own life off the ground.
	__________________ "All my sitcoms had an audience, with four or five cameras, so working this way has always been appealing to me." - John Larroquette A living legend, five Emmys and a Tony award! Your favorites could never...

12-09-2008, 11:51 PM	#14
Doodyville10019 Meet my new friend Sparkie! Forum Regular Join Date: Oct 08, 2008 Location: Competition Square, located in Doodyville Park Posts: 877	Yes, I cut my EX-brother out of my life years ago. I disowned him and disinherited him. I do not consider him as a brother anymore. I have though one remaining brother and one sister. The reason I cut my EX out of my life is because he was very abusive to me, especially when he was either high on cocaine or drunk. He would play loud music at all hours of the night and when i told him to stop he and I would fight and I always got teh short end of it. He stole a lot of things of mine, too - money, t-shirts, food and more. Now I hear he has diabetes and chirrosis of the liver. At this point I don't even care.
	__________________ Hi! Hey! Hello again, here we go again!

12-08-2008, 07:13 PM	#2
Hollow Member Forum Superstar Join Date: Dec 16, 2001 Posts: 30,406	i cut ties with my best friend, at least temporarily, last summer. not out of resentment but i really needed time away from him to cleanse my mind of a lot of things that had happened between us over the years (and secretly i'm waiting for him to grow up a little too). we've spoken maybe once a month on average since then and it's really been working.

12-08-2008, 07:40 PM	#3
sunshinefizzy Member Senior Member Join Date: Sep 27, 2006 Location: Craptown Posts: 2,054	I have cut people out of my life my life before. It's not always easy but if you know that you'll be better off in the long run without the person, you go with your gut and run. It's hard but sometimes it's just the road you have to take and know that everything will be okay no matter what.

12-08-2008, 09:36 PM	#6
Waterston_Fan Eternal Member Eternal Member Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 26, 2005 Location: Southern California Posts: 3,195	This will probably sound really selfish but there are times where I kinda want to shut out my eldest sister because she usally treats me like a baby. I have some disabilties and I am the baby of the family and my sister can't see me as an adult. But then she always does seem to have to be the boss of everyone and she does have a good job and has a home. There has been talk that when my mom retires, she and I will go to North Carolina to live since my sister would be on top of everything if something should happen to my mom. My mom is in good health. My middle sister doesn't have a home, she rents and probably will rent for the rest of her life.. LOL She and her husband just cannot or do not know how to be financially responsible. She does have a job and kids are already moved out. Me, I have a part time job and I am on disability which prevents me from even owning a home or even a car. And I don't really want to live with my dad and stepmom, it'd just feel too werid. I just feel like I want to be on my own and not worry about anything. I do have nephews but they are in their 20's and starting their life and stuff and I don't really want to have to live with them or even with my cousin who is in his late 30's and we do get along pretty good. I'm just the type that doesn't like to ask for favors and stuff. But then I guess I should be lucky that I do have an older sister who is willing to take me in and help with my mom if my mom becomes ill.

12-08-2008, 10:18 PM	#8
dawsongirl Member Forum Icon Join Date: Jan 04, 2001 Posts: 53,140	Yeah, my one uncle, but we were never close or anything, so good riddance. He's a worthless, lazy druggie. He gets all the family against each other just for lulz or something. He's a mooch. He was treating my mom like scum. He can just die for all I care. I know that sounds bad, but I fail to see where this man has done any good for anyone or anything. So I just don't claim him.