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PunkyP0WER · 12-03-2008, 09:16 PM

My husband has been going through chemo treatments and on his 3rd one. i know i must sound like a baby as he is the one suffering through it but he's so miserable sometimes and i feel like no matter how hard i try to make him happy i always do everything wrong. i just don't know what to do.

Janice · 12-03-2008, 09:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PunkyP0WER

My husband has been going through chemo treatments and on his 3rd one. i know i must sound like a baby as he is the one suffering through it but he's so miserable sometimes and i feel like no matter how hard i try to make him happy i always do everything wrong. i just don't know what to do.

I'm sorry your husband and you are living this nightmare. Are his doctors making him comfortable with pain medication? I know opiates are an issue these days, even for cancer patients. Don't feel guilty either. You're a person too, and the stress of a caregiver is enormous. Is there someone who can give you a break, even a health aid from a government agency? If you break down, you're not going to be any help to your husband. All this stress can make you sick. Don't let that happen. You matter too. Don't forget that.

TripperFan · 12-03-2008, 10:11 PM

I agree with Janice. Don't think it's selfish or weak to ask for help for yourself also. It's hard to keep in mind that he really doesn't mean to be short or nasty, it's the discomfort and pain speaking. I took care of my mom and there were times I was at my wits end. I kinda know from both sides now actually how it can be.

Do both of you a favour and see if while he's having his treatments, there's a way you can attend sessions for counselling or with other family members going through the same things you are. I know a lot of hospitals, cancer centres, etc. offer the service at no charge. (at least here they do - I HOPE it's not different in the U.S.). And also see if there are relief volunteers available to you.

catlover79 · 12-03-2008, 10:42 PM

Kimberlee, we love you both and I'm praying for you!!!

PunkyP0WER · 12-04-2008, 12:56 AM

Cathie, Janice, Monika you 3 are the sweetest souls on here. I love you all so much! You are always so upbeat and positive no matter what you're facing, i wish i had half the courage and strength you do. You 3 are my favs. here and although i haven't been here as long as you all your posts never fail to inspire me or cheer me up. i wish all the happiness and love to you all. i think i'm going to see if any hospitals or other orgs. offer a support group. i'm sure theres one out there that canserve as an outlet for my worries and frustrations. big hugs back to you

TripperFan · 12-04-2008, 01:22 AM

right back atchya Kimberlee. Yah, see what you can find. Try some googling or some other local search engine for your area. There has to be something. Most cancer groups have something - or maybe even Ronald McDonald House. They're really great organizations.

Good luck Sweety!

OH Nuts! · 12-04-2008, 08:03 AM

Hang in there Kimberlee. You've just gotten some great advice from 3 great gals. Going to these orgs. sounds like a smart idea - you are likely to find others going through something similar to what you're going through - and you can each share with & help each other. Good luck sweetie...praying for you and your husband.

Chocoholic · 12-04-2008, 05:57 PM

Hang in there. You will get throught this. I am praying for you and your husband.

Yooch · 12-04-2008, 06:27 PM

You guys are in my prayers.

MonarC · 12-04-2008, 06:56 PM

I have seen the effects of cancer. I lost a good friend to bone marrow cancer a few years ago. My dad just recently recovered from cancer and luckily is still cancer free. Now I just found out today that my hubby's grandma has cancer and has been given a week or two left to live. All we can do is just pray. It's so sad and hard to deal with but we have no choice but to go on. All we can do is just try to be as positive as possible and try to focus on the good things. My thoughts and prayers are with you, be strong.

catlover79 · 12-04-2008, 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PunkyP0WER

Cathie, Janice, Monika you 3 are the sweetest souls on here. I love you all so much! You are always so upbeat and positive no matter what you're facing, i wish i had half the courage and strength you do. You 3 are my favs. here and although i haven't been here as long as you all your posts never fail to inspire me or cheer me up. i wish all the happiness and love to you all. i think i'm going to see if any hospitals or other orgs. offer a support group. i'm sure theres one out there that canserve as an outlet for my worries and frustrations. big hugs back to you

Awwww...

Nighthawk76 · 12-05-2008, 12:13 AM

I'm very sorry.

InspectorExstead · 12-05-2008, 12:47 AM

i'm so sorry to hear about your husband.

i'll pray for both of you guys. i hope this round of chemo works & that you will find continued strength to be there for him. what janice, monika, and cathie said was great advice. a support group of any kind would be a great relief system for you- even if it's a message board online. maybe finding something online will help you find something in your neighborhood. cancer is such a difficult and hard thing to go through, but knowing there are others that can relate to you will help make it easier. again, i'm so sorry.

*Pleasant Tomorrow* · 12-05-2008, 12:49 AM

I'm so sorry to hear what you guys are going through. I agree, you'll get through this. Just hang in there.

12-03-2008, 09:16 PM	#1
PunkyP0WER Member Senior Member Join Date: May 23, 2008 Location: MACY*S on 34th St. Posts: 1,908	Just Sad My husband has been going through chemo treatments and on his 3rd one. i know i must sound like a baby as he is the one suffering through it but he's so miserable sometimes and i feel like no matter how hard i try to make him happy i always do everything wrong. i just don't know what to do.
	__________________ Faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to. - Fred Gailey & Doris Walker It was the movie that no one thought would be a hit It was the sleeper a studio had no idea how to sell And its success was even more miraculous because this Christmas present was opened in June! Fred & Doris Gailey FOREVER! That's the magic of *macys**

12-03-2008, 10:11 PM	#3
TripperFan In God's Arms Now Forum Star Join Date: Sep 14, 2003 Location: Heartbreak Ridge Posts: 12,086	I agree with Janice. Don't think it's selfish or weak to ask for help for yourself also. It's hard to keep in mind that he really doesn't mean to be short or nasty, it's the discomfort and pain speaking. I took care of my mom and there were times I was at my wits end. I kinda know from both sides now actually how it can be. Do both of you a favour and see if while he's having his treatments, there's a way you can attend sessions for counselling or with other family members going through the same things you are. I know a lot of hospitals, cancer centres, etc. offer the service at no charge. (at least here they do - I HOPE it's not different in the U.S.). And also see if there are relief volunteers available to you.
	__________________ If I don't see you in this world, I'll meet you in the next one.....don't be late James Marshall Hendrix Voodoo Chile The Forum Legend formerly known as TripperFan "religion is for people who are afraid of hell--spirituality is for people who have been through hell"---anonymous

12-03-2008, 10:42 PM	#4
catlover79 God Bless Val Forum Addict Join Date: May 29, 2006 Location: Bewitched in Ohio Posts: 70,392	Kimberlee, we love you both and I'm praying for you!!!
	__________________ "Jesus loves you and He approves this message." "I'm alive. I'm feeling good. I'm trying to live every moment as much as I can." - Valerie Harper, March 2013

12-04-2008, 06:27 PM	#9
Yooch Member Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 07, 2006 Location: California Posts: 3,180	You guys are in my prayers.
	__________________ "The true meaning of America, you ask? It's in a Texas rodeo, in a policeman's badge, in the sound of laughing children, in a political rally, in a newspaper...In all these things and many more, you'll find freedom. And freedom is what America means to the world. And to me." --Audie Leon Murphy June 20, 1924-- May 28, 1971

12-05-2008, 12:47 AM	#13
InspectorExstead Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Oct 29, 2001 Location: The Golden State Posts: 12,902	i'm so sorry to hear about your husband. i'll pray for both of you guys. i hope this round of chemo works & that you will find continued strength to be there for him. what janice, monika, and cathie said was great advice. a support group of any kind would be a great relief system for you- even if it's a message board online. maybe finding something online will help you find something in your neighborhood. cancer is such a difficult and hard thing to go through, but knowing there are others that can relate to you will help make it easier. again, i'm so sorry.
	__________________ They killed my sister because she asked: "Where is my vote?" http://sosiran.com/ http://tapeshhd.com/index.php

12-04-2008, 12:56 AM	#5
PunkyP0WER Member Senior Member Join Date: May 23, 2008 Location: MACY*S on 34th St. Posts: 1,908	Cathie, Janice, Monika you 3 are the sweetest souls on here. I love you all so much! You are always so upbeat and positive no matter what you're facing, i wish i had half the courage and strength you do. You 3 are my favs. here and although i haven't been here as long as you all your posts never fail to inspire me or cheer me up. i wish all the happiness and love to you all. i think i'm going to see if any hospitals or other orgs. offer a support group. i'm sure theres one out there that canserve as an outlet for my worries and frustrations. big hugs back to you

12-04-2008, 01:22 AM	#6
TripperFan In God's Arms Now Forum Star Join Date: Sep 14, 2003 Location: Heartbreak Ridge Posts: 12,086	right back atchya Kimberlee. Yah, see what you can find. Try some googling or some other local search engine for your area. There has to be something. Most cancer groups have something - or maybe even Ronald McDonald House. They're really great organizations. Good luck Sweety!

12-04-2008, 08:03 AM	#7
OH Nuts! Member Forum King Join Date: Feb 15, 2005 Posts: 133,383	Hang in there Kimberlee. You've just gotten some great advice from 3 great gals. Going to these orgs. sounds like a smart idea - you are likely to find others going through something similar to what you're going through - and you can each share with & help each other. Good luck sweetie...praying for you and your husband.

12-04-2008, 05:57 PM	#8
Chocoholic Member Forum Star Join Date: Dec 01, 2000 Location: Between a rock and a hard place. Posts: 11,235	Hang in there. You will get throught this. I am praying for you and your husband.

12-04-2008, 06:56 PM	#10
MonarC The truth will set you free Forum Fanatic Join Date: Dec 05, 2002 Location: 3rd Stone From The Sun Posts: 9,525	I have seen the effects of cancer. I lost a good friend to bone marrow cancer a few years ago. My dad just recently recovered from cancer and luckily is still cancer free. Now I just found out today that my hubby's grandma has cancer and has been given a week or two left to live. All we can do is just pray. It's so sad and hard to deal with but we have no choice but to go on. All we can do is just try to be as positive as possible and try to focus on the good things. My thoughts and prayers are with you, be strong.

12-05-2008, 12:13 AM	#12
Nighthawk76 Rachel Berry Forum Celebrity Join Date: Feb 28, 2003 Location: Illinois Posts: 23,254	I'm very sorry.

12-05-2008, 12:49 AM	#14
Pleasant Tomorrow Member Forum Addict Join Date: Feb 19, 2003 Location: New York Posts: 69,525	I'm so sorry to hear what you guys are going through. I agree, you'll get through this. Just hang in there.
	__________________ my name is ashlee Welcome! Everything is fine.