Episode Reviews: “Bread” & “Razor Blades”:

[Frank Gannucci]

Episode #1
TV: This episode was seen The Honeymooners Really Lost Debut Episodes. This special was shown in 1993 on Disney Channel (yes, THAT Disney Channel) & March of 2000 on TV Land. This episode was attached to the first six Really Lost Debut Episodes.

VHS & DVD: Has not been released on VHS & DVD. Since these are probably in the public domain (unlike the other Lost Episodes), MPI may not release them. But, who knows?

Don Russell makes the introduction and talks about what the word “honeymoon” means. Don: “This evening, Jackie Gleason introduces two ‘new’ characters. Ralph Kramden & Alice Kramden who’s boat has sprung a leak. Alice is preparing a dinner for Ralph who is coming home after a hard day driving a bus.”

Alice is preparing dinner. Alice (singing): “They say, I am much to young to love.” Ralph comes home. Alice asks Ralph to go down to Krauss’ and get some bread. Ralph doesn’t want to. Alice says that she can’t because she is cooking dinner. Ralph: “Did you spend all day doing that?” Alice: “Don’t start me. I am not in the mood for it.” Ralph still won’t go. Alice says that she wouldn’t ask Ralph to go down if they didn’t have any bread. Alice says that she didn’t go down to Krauss’ because she had a lot to do all day. Ralph is still upset. Ralph wants everybody to hear him yell. Alice: “Do you want to hear me yell? I’ll yell. I’LL YELL” Neighbors complain. Ralph says that he will not go tonight, last night or the night before. Alice: “I don’t eat bread.” She takes the bread heels and throws them out the window. Eventually, they end up throwing, a bread box, some pots and pans and a thing of flour all end up on the street in anger. Alice then threatens to throw herself out the window. Ralph encourages her to throw herself out. Alice: “I wouldn’t give you the satisfaction.”

A cop comes up. The cop is played by Art Carney is his first appearance on the show. He is covered in bread flower. Alice says that it was her fault. The cop is very lenient. He says: “Don’t let it happen again. Sheesh!” “Sheesh!” would later be one of Ed Norton’s catchphrases. Ralph apologizes to Alice. Alice forgives him. Ralph asks Alice if she wants to go out to eat at a pizzeria. Alice says yes. Ralph: “Come here baby!” They hug and kiss.

Episode #2
TV: This episode was seen The Honeymooners Really Lost Debut Episodes. This special was shown in 1993 on Disney Channel (yes, THAT Disney Channel) & March of 2000 on TV Land. This episode was attached to the first six Really Lost Debut Episodes.

VHS & DVD: Has not been released on VHS & DVD. Since these are probably in the public domain (unlike the other Lost Episodes), MPI may not release them. But, who knows?

This Honeymooners episode is the shortest ever. It is only 5:02.

Alice is cooking. Ralph comes out with shaving cream on and asks where his razor blades are. Last night, he bought a pack of blades and put them on the table. Ralph: “We live on the third floor. Nobody can climb up and get them. Nobody got lowered. This door has been locked all night. A mouse couldn’t have taken them.” Ralph accuses Alice of taking the blades. Alice denies it. Ralph: “Don’t steam me up because I am already steamed.” Alice (sarcastically): “You got me scared to death.” Ralph accuses Alice of stealing things like his gray pants. Ralph: “One of these days…” Alice: “What one of these days? What? What? What?” Alice: “You will find out when the day comes.” Alice says that you put things in the drawer. That is where they belong.

Ralph opens the drawer. Ralph says that Alice has three drawers. Ralph has trouble opening it. He eventually does. One a few things are in that drawer but not his razor blades. Ralph is still angry. Alice: “Don’t start. Don’t start.” Ralph (sarcastically): “You frighten me.” Alice: “All right. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!” Alice then threatens to throw herself out the window. Ralph encourages her to throw herself out. Alice: “I wouldn’t give you the satisfaction.”

People from downstairs are knocking their ceiling to tell the Kramdens to be quiet. Ralph responds by pounding the floor with a chair. Man (from upstairs, yells): “KEEP QUIET DOWN THERE! KEEP QUIET!” Ralph is going to take one of Alice’s drawers even though there is clothing in it. Ralph tears her clothing that is in it. Wow! He even starts to tear a dress. Alice says no. She is supposedly crying. Ralph calls her clothing that was in that dresser junk. That is her wedding dress. Ralph feels bad. He didn’t mean to tear that dress. Alice knows it. He apologizes. Alice forgives him. They hug and kiss even though Ralph still has cream on his face.