Blackboard jokes

[FanofRetroTV]

I saw this done at another site and thought it would be fun if we come up with our own blackboard jokes.

I'll start,

I will not control others with my mind

or

I will not force my own political beliefs on others

or

I did not see teacher at a singles bar making out

[Chocoholic]

I will not slip NyQuil into Teacher's coffee.

Tooth removal and ear piercing are best left to the professionals.

The castaways on Lost are dead.

Mom is not a desparate housewife.

I will not be the next American Idol.

[Chocoholic]

Here are some more...

Country music does not suck.

Not everybody loved "Raymond".

I will not walk into the classroom and sadly announce, "The principal's plane was shot down over the Sea of Japan..."

I don't have the authority to release psych patients.

I will not pledge allegiance to Red Sox Nation.

Waterboarding does not mean what I think it means.

I will return the lost ballots from the 2000 Presidential election.

I did not see anything unusual during my vacation to Roswell, New Mexico.

I will not fake a seizure to get out of a math test.

[Chocoholic]

And even more...

Schoolworkophobia is not a legitimate mental illness.

I will not expect everybody to shout "Bart!" when I enter the classroom.

I will not go skinnydipping in the class aquarium.

Just because I watched Wings doesn't mean I can fly an airplane.

Just because I watched ER doesn't mean I can give CPR.

This episode is not "ripped from the headlines".

[Chocoholic]

And finally...

(Nelson in pleace of Bart) I can make fun of anyone I want to as long as I don't use a homophobic slur.

[Chocoholic]

I will not go back to the old opening credits.

The government does not owe me a bailout.

Gunsmoke, eat my shorts.

Springfield: home of the origional octuplets.

Dr. Phil is not interested in interviewing me.

[sixfingers]

I will not sell Amway.