Saturday's Quotes: - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frank Gannucci · 10-11-2008, 09:43 AM

"$99,000 Answer":

Alice: "Trixie was down here and she said that she saw you on the show."

Ralph: "She was? Well, what did she say?"

Alice: "Well, she said that she was the biggest thing on TV."

"On Stage":

Ralph: "Mr. Faversham says that I have something that is on stage and
sretches out into the audience."

Alice (patting Ralph's stomach): "You certainly have."

"On Stage":

Ralph: "Gregory Peck was an usher at a Music Hall. Kurt Douglas was a soda jerk. So, there's a spot for me."

Alice: "Sure, you can be an usehr at a music hall or a soda jerk."

"Teamwork Beats The Clock":

Bud Collyer (as himself): "Have you lived in Brooklyn all your life?"

Ralph: "Not yet."

"Teamwork Beats The Clock":

(Ed puts his cigarette in Alice's sink that is full of balloons.)

Ralph: "What kind of mind must a man have to put a lit cigarette in a sink loaded with balloons?"

Ed: "What kind of mind must you have to have a sink full of balloons?"

"The Hypnotist Part 1":

Ralph: "I know that you will willingly let me have the money to go to the convention o' Adorable Doll."

Alice: "Oh no I won't You beautiful fat tub."

"The Next Champ":

Mr. Armstrong: "I have eight guys in my stable but I can make room for a heavyweight."

Ed: "Hey, he must have a bigger kitchen than you Ralph."

"Expectant Father":

Ed: "Why don't we ask who isn't having the baby and ask HER?"

Ralph: "You have been hit on the head by one too many manhole covers."

"Follow The Boys":

(Alice has the house all dark and has a lit candle on the dinner table hoping that Ralph would want to eat dinner in a romantic fashion. Ralph comes home.)

Alice: "Hello Ralph."

Ralph: "So you forgot to pay the electric bill, huh?"

"In Twenty-Five Words or Less":

Alice: "You finally won one of those contests. The prize is in the bedroom."

Ralph (going into the bedroom): "Oh boy! Oh boy!"

(Ralph sees the big dog called Happy.)

Ralph (coming out of the bedroom, yells): "ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!"

"Lawsuit" (Color version):

Ed: "I was in a lawsuit once. They claimed that I didn't even have a
case."

Ralph: "What happened?"

Ed: "I was working in the sewer and a manhole cover fell on my head."

Ralph: "Why couldn't you win the case?"

Ed: "I couldn't prove it did any damage."

10-11-2008, 09:43 AM	#1
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,068	Saturday's Quotes: "$99,000 Answer": Alice: "Trixie was down here and she said that she saw you on the show." Ralph: "She was? Well, what did she say?" Alice: "Well, she said that she was the biggest thing on TV." "On Stage": Ralph: "Mr. Faversham says that I have something that is on stage and sretches out into the audience." Alice (patting Ralph's stomach): "You certainly have." "On Stage": Ralph: "Gregory Peck was an usher at a Music Hall. Kurt Douglas was a soda jerk. So, there's a spot for me." Alice: "Sure, you can be an usehr at a music hall or a soda jerk." "Teamwork Beats The Clock": Bud Collyer (as himself): "Have you lived in Brooklyn all your life?" Ralph: "Not yet." "Teamwork Beats The Clock": (Ed puts his cigarette in Alice's sink that is full of balloons.) Ralph: "What kind of mind must a man have to put a lit cigarette in a sink loaded with balloons?" Ed: "What kind of mind must you have to have a sink full of balloons?" "The Hypnotist Part 1": Ralph: "I know that you will willingly let me have the money to go to the convention o' Adorable Doll." Alice: "Oh no I won't You beautiful fat tub." "The Next Champ": Mr. Armstrong: "I have eight guys in my stable but I can make room for a heavyweight." Ed: "Hey, he must have a bigger kitchen than you Ralph." "Expectant Father": Ed: "Why don't we ask who isn't having the baby and ask HER?" Ralph: "You have been hit on the head by one too many manhole covers." "Follow The Boys": (Alice has the house all dark and has a lit candle on the dinner table hoping that Ralph would want to eat dinner in a romantic fashion. Ralph comes home.) Alice: "Hello Ralph." Ralph: "So you forgot to pay the electric bill, huh?" "In Twenty-Five Words or Less": Alice: "You finally won one of those contests. The prize is in the bedroom." Ralph (going into the bedroom): "Oh boy! Oh boy!" (Ralph sees the big dog called Happy.) Ralph (coming out of the bedroom, yells): "ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!" "Lawsuit" (Color version): Ed: "I was in a lawsuit once. They claimed that I didn't even have a case." Ralph: "What happened?" Ed: "I was working in the sewer and a manhole cover fell on my head." Ralph: "Why couldn't you win the case?" Ed: "I couldn't prove it did any damage."