Should divorced parents badmouth their ex in front of their children? - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

MusicJunkie · 10-03-2008, 04:17 PM

I noticed this a few days ago when I was in a store. A 5-6 year old boy asked his mom about some video game and she said no. Then he mentioned that his dad loves to play video games and she retorted "well, your dad is also stupid" and then "your dad is a kid". I knew it was none of my concern so I kept my mouth shut, but I felt like telling her that talking smack about his father could scar a child when he gets older.

There's a huge difference IMO when your parents are married and have an argument, as I've heard my mom and dad both say some bad things about the other. But when a child experiences a divorce, I think it's best to keep your dismay for your ex away from the child because it is his father (or mother) your talking about, so even if you don't care for your ex, you must remember your child does.

What do others think? I understand its one thing if the ex was abusive or whatever, but if you broke up over irreconcilable differences, it's best to be the better person and remember that your kid still loves both parents and not try to start a pissing contest with your ex and look for the kids best interests.

Hollow · 10-03-2008, 04:24 PM

that's a common mistake made in divorces. unless the ex was abusive and you want your child to have nothing to do them again, it's absolutely wrong to badmouth them to the child. it will deprive them of a good relationship with that parent. my dad tried that when he and my mom were on the verge of divorce. tried to convince us kids that it was "wrong" of her to take us away from our home and make us live in a safehouse with her, which she did because he physically assaulted her. it's a good thing i already trusted her a lot more than i trusted him.

70s show watcher · 10-03-2008, 05:44 PM

ive seen people do that and it annoys me to no end

PZelda · 10-03-2008, 08:36 PM

I'm the youngest of 3 in my family. My parents split up when I was almost 10. So, not little anymore, but not yet a teen. My mom did this to me a lot... Not just my dad but also my stepmom. It bugged me a lot... I'd tell her I didn't like it when she did that because it was my dad she was badmouthing. My dad neeeever badmouthed my mom to me. ****ing annoying, that.

Yeah, they need to keep it to themselves if they split up due to differences.

LuLu Rogers · 10-03-2008, 08:40 PM

Deffinately not, it only makes things harder on the kid(s). It's really sad to see parents bad mouthing each other in front of their kids.

Wreckless · 10-03-2008, 08:50 PM

No, my Dad does it all the time. He's an ******* and it's ****ed up. I love my mom, she gave birth to me. Just because they divorced, doesn't mean he has to not only curse in front of a child/young adult, espec. my mother. I have strong feelings about this and it has affected me.

so elektrikkxx · 10-03-2008, 09:59 PM

My parents badmouth each other all the time. In fact I'm not even going to share some of the things I've heard from both sides.

Number 9 Dream · 10-03-2008, 10:44 PM

Yes, I think it's horrible! My parents are split up as well, and my Dad bad mouths my Mom all the time...I freakin' hate it. I know I'm not a kid or anything, but it's still wrong either way. I can see how it would scar a kid.

Wreckless · 10-03-2008, 10:45 PM

^ Yeah I think it's wrong. My dad shouldn't take out his frustration and anger by 1. bad mouthing and disrespecting my mother, IN FRONT OF ME and putting his problems on me. My mom doesn't bad mouth him, she got re-married 6 years ago and is living great. It's just different people.

MusicJunkie · 10-03-2008, 11:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wreckless

^ Yeah I think it's wrong. My dad shouldn't take out his frustration and anger by 1. bad mouthing and disrespecting my mother, IN FRONT OF ME and putting his problems on me. My mom doesn't bad mouth him, she got re-married 6 years ago and is living great. It's just different people.

do you ever tell your dad that you don't appreciate him saying **** about your mother, and if so, what does he say?

I think parents need to realize their ex's are still the parents of their children, so some respect should be entitled. I mean, a friend isn't going to badmouth someones mother, so why can't the other person show that same respect to their child that any friend knows better than?

Janice · 10-03-2008, 11:27 PM

It's just wrong, and in the end, it's the kids who end up hurt. You can't expect your kid to fight your battles. There should be no battles after the divorce. My husband and his ex divorced when they had four children under the age of seven. They have never bad mouthed each other, period. Even with me, my husband never even talked her down. He told me about the problems which led to the divorce, but takes his share of the responsibility. His kids (now adult) always say that they appreciate the fact that their parents were civil. Divorce is hard enough on kids, without them being used as pawns.

It's also sad when parents have nasty custody battles. I swear most of the time, they don't even want to see the kids more, but want to piss of the ex. Civil divorced adults should be able to work out an amiacable custody arrangement. There's no room for spite when it comes to divorce.

70s show watcher · 10-04-2008, 12:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janice

It's just wrong, and in the end, it's the kids who end up hurt. You can't expect your kid to fight your battles. There should be no battles after the divorce. My husband and his ex divorced when they had four children under the age of seven. They have never bad mouthed each other, period. Even with me, my husband never even talked her down. He told me about the problems which led to the divorce, but takes his share of the responsibility. His kids (now adult) always say that they appreciate the fact that their parents were civil. Divorce is hard enough on kids, without them being used as pawns.

It's also sad when parents have nasty custody battles. I swear most of the time, they don't even want to see the kids more, but want to piss of the ex. Civil divorced adults should be able to work out an amiacable custody arrangement. There's no room for spite when it comes to divorce.

very well said janice

10-03-2008, 04:17 PM	#1
MusicJunkie Member Forum Regular Join Date: Sep 23, 2008 Location: where I live Posts: 791	Should divorced parents badmouth their ex in front of their children? I noticed this a few days ago when I was in a store. A 5-6 year old boy asked his mom about some video game and she said no. Then he mentioned that his dad loves to play video games and she retorted "well, your dad is also stupid" and then "your dad is a kid". I knew it was none of my concern so I kept my mouth shut, but I felt like telling her that talking smack about his father could scar a child when he gets older. There's a huge difference IMO when your parents are married and have an argument, as I've heard my mom and dad both say some bad things about the other. But when a child experiences a divorce, I think it's best to keep your dismay for your ex away from the child because it is his father (or mother) your talking about, so even if you don't care for your ex, you must remember your child does. What do others think? I understand its one thing if the ex was abusive or whatever, but if you broke up over irreconcilable differences, it's best to be the better person and remember that your kid still loves both parents and not try to start a pissing contest with your ex and look for the kids best interests.

10-03-2008, 08:36 PM	#4
PZelda Two Valeries! <3 Forum Addict Join Date: Jul 15, 2002 Location: I'm STILL missing NYC. :( Posts: 78,223	I'm the youngest of 3 in my family. My parents split up when I was almost 10. So, not little anymore, but not yet a teen. My mom did this to me a lot... Not just my dad but also my stepmom. It bugged me a lot... I'd tell her I didn't like it when she did that because it was my dad she was badmouthing. My dad neeeever badmouthed my mom to me. ****ing annoying, that. Yeah, they need to keep it to themselves if they split up due to differences.
	__________________ Cheers behind the couch!

10-03-2008, 08:40 PM	#5
LuLu Rogers Colonel Brandon Forum Fanatic Join Date: Mar 23, 2004 Location: The Hogwarts Dungeons Posts: 11,013	Deffinately not, it only makes things harder on the kid(s). It's really sad to see parents bad mouthing each other in front of their kids.
	__________________ -Lauren- "I can teach you how to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses. I can tell you how to bottle fame, brew glory, and even put a stopper in death."-Professor Severus Snape

10-03-2008, 09:59 PM	#7
so elektrikkxx Member Forum Regular Join Date: Jan 01, 2008 Posts: 554	My parents badmouth each other all the time. In fact I'm not even going to share some of the things I've heard from both sides.
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10-03-2008, 10:44 PM	#8
Number 9 Dream That '70s Girl Forum Veteran Join Date: Jan 18, 2005 Location: Long Island, NY Posts: 5,875	Yes, I think it's horrible! My parents are split up as well, and my Dad bad mouths my Mom all the time...I freakin' hate it. I know I'm not a kid or anything, but it's still wrong either way. I can see how it would scar a kid.
	__________________ Live a little be a gypsy get around http://www.librarything.com/profile/skelterhelter http://retrogirl82.dvdaf.com/owned formerly Retrogirl82

10-03-2008, 04:24 PM	#2
Hollow Member Forum Superstar Join Date: Dec 16, 2001 Posts: 30,406	that's a common mistake made in divorces. unless the ex was abusive and you want your child to have nothing to do them again, it's absolutely wrong to badmouth them to the child. it will deprive them of a good relationship with that parent. my dad tried that when he and my mom were on the verge of divorce. tried to convince us kids that it was "wrong" of her to take us away from our home and make us live in a safehouse with her, which she did because he physically assaulted her. it's a good thing i already trusted her a lot more than i trusted him.

10-03-2008, 05:44 PM	#3
70s show watcher Member Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: May 20, 2008 Location: between point place and studio 8 h Posts: 4,548	ive seen people do that and it annoys me to no end

10-03-2008, 08:50 PM	#6
Wreckless Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Nov 04, 2007 Location: Banned Posts: 9,406	No, my Dad does it all the time. He's an ***** and it's **ed up. I love my mom, she gave birth to me. Just because they divorced, doesn't mean he has to not only curse in front of a child/young adult, espec. my mother. I have strong feelings about this and it has affected me.

10-03-2008, 10:45 PM	#9
Wreckless Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Nov 04, 2007 Location: Banned Posts: 9,406	^ Yeah I think it's wrong. My dad shouldn't take out his frustration and anger by 1. bad mouthing and disrespecting my mother, IN FRONT OF ME and putting his problems on me. My mom doesn't bad mouth him, she got re-married 6 years ago and is living great. It's just different people.

10-03-2008, 11:27 PM	#11
Janice Retired Admin - Hollywood Swingin' Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 03, 2001 Location: Beantown Posts: 36,388	It's just wrong, and in the end, it's the kids who end up hurt. You can't expect your kid to fight your battles. There should be no battles after the divorce. My husband and his ex divorced when they had four children under the age of seven. They have never bad mouthed each other, period. Even with me, my husband never even talked her down. He told me about the problems which led to the divorce, but takes his share of the responsibility. His kids (now adult) always say that they appreciate the fact that their parents were civil. Divorce is hard enough on kids, without them being used as pawns. It's also sad when parents have nasty custody battles. I swear most of the time, they don't even want to see the kids more, but want to piss of the ex. Civil divorced adults should be able to work out an amiacable custody arrangement. There's no room for spite when it comes to divorce.