Friday's Quotes:

[Frank Gannucci]

"Better Living Through TV":

Ralph: "You can't put your arm around a memory."

Alice: "I can't even put my arm around you."

"Better Living Through TV":

Ralph: "This (his latest get-rich-quick scheme) is the biggest thing I ever got into."

Alice: "The biggest thing you ever got into was your pants."

"Young Man With A Horn":

Alice: "Ed, you didn't get the sewer inspector job?"

Ed: "No, I washed out."

"Hot Dog Stand":

(Ralph explains to Ed how Sunday is going to be the busiest day for their hot dog stand.)

Ed: "I have one question."

Ralph: "What?"

Ed: "Can I have Sundays off?"

"Jellybeans":

Ralph: "What do you mean that you only got one dress in the past year? You had a brown, a a green and a blue dress."

Alice: "Uh huh!" (pointing to her clothes): "This is my dress and I have run out of dye."

"Finders Keepers":

Ralph: "All I cansay is that it was a good thing that you weren't married to Alex Graham Bell or he would have never invented the telephone."

Alice: "Makes no difference in my life. We don't have one."

Ralph: "With your mouthpiece, we don't need one."

"Be It Ever So Humble":

Ralph: "Outside of your new home, you can pick up some dirt and say: 'This is mine.'"

Alice: "I can walk out in the hallway and do the same thing."

"The Main Event":

Ralph: "Did you see the wallop that guy gave that cigarette machine?"

Ed: "Good thing it wasn't a Pepsi-Cola machine or we would all drown."

"Flushing Ho":

(Ed looks at the toaster.)

Ed: "The radiostat conductor is not making proper contact with the elctrocurl."

Alice: "What does that mean?"

Ed: "There's a screw loose."