Hate Telemarketers? Here's Your Revenge! - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

TripperFan · 10-01-2008, 11:26 AM

I LOVE some of these!

:

Advice On Getting Revenge On Telemarketers Explodes On Worldwide Web

They are the bane of the existence of just about anyone who has a phone.
A telemarketing owner once explained that the reason their people always call you with some annoying pitch when you're having dinner or watching your favourite primetime show is that's the only time they can be sure you're home.

And while telemarketers are only trying to make a buck like the rest of us, it's the persistent way they do it that has so many of us irritated.

From mispronouncing your name right off the top to a non-stop lightning-fast spiel you can't interrupt, they've found ways to annoy you most of us would never think of.

Many recipients have tried different approaches to getting rid of the aggravating calls, and some websites have taken up the challenge to help guide you through the process.

Take the oddly but appropriately named sorrygottago.com, which allows disgruntled phone owners to download a host of audio clips that can be played back at the offending caller.

One, titled "How Am I?" centres on the predictable first question the telemarketer asks you after butchering your name.

"My sciatica's acting up especially when I ride my unicycle," the recording begins. "My dog of 35 years just died because we didn't have enough money for the appendix operation and I have cricket elbow ... and in my backyard a piece of space rocket just hit my bird bath and NASA says they don't know anything about it."

The voice then asks if the caller can give him a lift to work because his car battery died and concludes with this ominous phrase: "That's just the big stuff. Are you ready for the rest of it?"

Another pretends to put the shill onto the hold from hell.

"Your call is very important to us," it begins. "That's why we have you on 'hold' with almost no chance of someone coming over to take the call. But if you would like to hold for an indefinite period of time and have nothing better to do, be our guest. Thank you for calling."

And then there's the would-be customer who can't stop sneezing, the inexplicable animal noises or the faux answering machine, which asks the caller to leave their "name, number, and the time you sit down to dinner and I'll be sure to call you right then."

But for sheer heights of phone freakishness, nothing beats howtoprankyourtelemarketer, a site that takes turning the tables to a new art form.

It features a comedian named Tom Mabe, who specializes in driving telemarketers to distraction.

In one classic moment highlighted on the website, a man who calls his phone offering a 'free satellite system' finds himself in the middle of a murder investigation when a supposed cop tells him the person he was dialing was just murdered - and begins to question him about how he was involved.

"Where were you last night between the hours of eight and ten?" He then demands his work address and "contacts" the police department on the other line. The conversation continues until the "detective" asks the caller if he was the dead man's gay lover.

Another features a 'stand-up comic' asking the salesman "how many telemarketers does it take to screw in a light bulb?" The answer is "Six. But only one is screwing an old lady out of her life's savings".

That retort is followed by raucous laughter and a threat of violence from the caller on the other end of the line.

Other samples are available here.

There's even a site that offers you a complete script to follow to upset their rhythm. You'll find it in .pdf form here.

Or you might like the suggestions some contributors to various websites make about their favourite solutions - including feeding one telemarketer's phone number to another. You can find those here and here.

(if you want the actual links, copy below and paste into your browser)

http://www.citynews.ca/news/news_5555.aspx

Hollow · 10-01-2008, 12:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TripperFan

In one classic moment highlighted on the website, a man who calls his phone offering a 'free satellite system' finds himself in the middle of a murder investigation when a supposed cop tells him the person he was dialing was just murdered - and begins to question him about how he was involved.

"Where were you last night between the hours of eight and ten?" He then demands his work address and "contacts" the police department on the other line. The conversation continues until the "detective" asks the caller if he was the dead man's gay lover.

i was planning on posting that clip as soon as soon i saw this thread.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5z4Vs26-TI best ever.

catlover79 · 10-01-2008, 12:34 PM

TripperFan · 10-01-2008, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by safety pin

i was planning on posting that clip as soon as soon i saw this thread.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5z4Vs26-TI best ever.

I heard it a while back on a morning show on the radio - absolutely hilarious!

Zoneboy · 10-01-2008, 01:25 PM

catlover79 · 10-01-2008, 04:09 PM

^

AB · 10-01-2008, 04:53 PM

That was hilarious!

Wreckless · 10-01-2008, 05:12 PM

Go on Youtube. A guy on a sports forum randomly but hysterically added a video of a guy getting back at an annoying telemarketer

. I'll have to get the name of the guy and the video again. The guy playing the prank called the guy at like his home house and he's like, where do you live and he was bugging him. The telemarketer was like, wait I live in Denver, he was bugging out like crazy, hilarious

.

MonarC · 10-01-2008, 05:20 PM

When I first got out of high school I worked as a telemarketer. They train you to be annoying. They tell you if the cx says no keep on pushing the "come-back bullets" until they have said no 3 times. Then you can close the call. I hated bothering people and quit after 3 months. Although it was great money at the time.

Wreckless · 10-01-2008, 05:21 PM

Yeah, telemarketers are like gnats, they come back and annoy the hell out of you, espec. when you're eating.

Wreckless · 10-01-2008, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MonarC

When I first got out of high school I worked as a telemarketer. They train you to be annoying. They tell you if the cx says no keep on pushing the "come-back bullets" until they have said no 3 times. Then you can close the call. I hated bothering people and quit after 3 months. Although it was great money at the time.

Yeah, sounds like what a telemarketer would do. How much did you generally make as one? Jw.

MonarC · 10-01-2008, 05:32 PM

Well that was 10 years ago and I was making $10 an hour. Not sure what they make today.

Wreckless · 10-01-2008, 05:33 PM

Oh that's not bad/pretty good for a salary of over 10 years ago...it's probably like $11.50 or somethin now..you just have to call people and annoy them to death? lol..

MonarC · 10-01-2008, 05:45 PM

Yeah they would also give out bonuses if you beat the quota for the day. So that's why they seem so annoying. They want to make their money too. Ask to be put on the DO NOT CALL LIST, or ask to speak with their supervisor that will get you off the list.

Wreckless · 10-01-2008, 06:06 PM

yeah or do what I do and change my voice every time they call

and say Mr. Johnson is not here, even though my last name is not Johnson...then I hang up lol...I hate when they call during meals, I bet they do it on purpose, at least some of them prob. do, just to annoy the hell out of you. It's like, weatherman train to be good liars, while telemarketers are trained to piss you off I think lol.

10-01-2008, 11:26 AM	#1
TripperFan In God's Arms Now Forum Star Join Date: Sep 14, 2003 Location: Heartbreak Ridge Posts: 12,086	Hate Telemarketers? Here's Your Revenge! I LOVE some of these! : Advice On Getting Revenge On Telemarketers Explodes On Worldwide Web They are the bane of the existence of just about anyone who has a phone. A telemarketing owner once explained that the reason their people always call you with some annoying pitch when you're having dinner or watching your favourite primetime show is that's the only time they can be sure you're home. And while telemarketers are only trying to make a buck like the rest of us, it's the persistent way they do it that has so many of us irritated. From mispronouncing your name right off the top to a non-stop lightning-fast spiel you can't interrupt, they've found ways to annoy you most of us would never think of. Many recipients have tried different approaches to getting rid of the aggravating calls, and some websites have taken up the challenge to help guide you through the process. Take the oddly but appropriately named sorrygottago.com, which allows disgruntled phone owners to download a host of audio clips that can be played back at the offending caller. One, titled "How Am I?" centres on the predictable first question the telemarketer asks you after butchering your name. "My sciatica's acting up especially when I ride my unicycle," the recording begins. "My dog of 35 years just died because we didn't have enough money for the appendix operation and I have cricket elbow ... and in my backyard a piece of space rocket just hit my bird bath and NASA says they don't know anything about it." The voice then asks if the caller can give him a lift to work because his car battery died and concludes with this ominous phrase: "That's just the big stuff. Are you ready for the rest of it?" Another pretends to put the shill onto the hold from hell. "Your call is very important to us," it begins. "That's why we have you on 'hold' with almost no chance of someone coming over to take the call. But if you would like to hold for an indefinite period of time and have nothing better to do, be our guest. Thank you for calling." And then there's the would-be customer who can't stop sneezing, the inexplicable animal noises or the faux answering machine, which asks the caller to leave their "name, number, and the time you sit down to dinner and I'll be sure to call you right then." But for sheer heights of phone freakishness, nothing beats howtoprankyourtelemarketer, a site that takes turning the tables to a new art form. It features a comedian named Tom Mabe, who specializes in driving telemarketers to distraction. In one classic moment highlighted on the website, a man who calls his phone offering a 'free satellite system' finds himself in the middle of a murder investigation when a supposed cop tells him the person he was dialing was just murdered - and begins to question him about how he was involved. "Where were you last night between the hours of eight and ten?" He then demands his work address and "contacts" the police department on the other line. The conversation continues until the "detective" asks the caller if he was the dead man's gay lover. Another features a 'stand-up comic' asking the salesman "how many telemarketers does it take to screw in a light bulb?" The answer is "Six. But only one is screwing an old lady out of her life's savings". That retort is followed by raucous laughter and a threat of violence from the caller on the other end of the line. Other samples are available here. There's even a site that offers you a complete script to follow to upset their rhythm. You'll find it in .pdf form here. Or you might like the suggestions some contributors to various websites make about their favourite solutions - including feeding one telemarketer's phone number to another. You can find those here and here. (if you want the actual links, copy below and paste into your browser) http://www.citynews.ca/news/news_5555.aspx
	__________________ If I don't see you in this world, I'll meet you in the next one.....don't be late James Marshall Hendrix Voodoo Chile The Forum Legend formerly known as TripperFan "religion is for people who are afraid of hell--spirituality is for people who have been through hell"---anonymous

10-01-2008, 12:34 PM	#3
catlover79 God Bless Val Forum Addict Join Date: May 29, 2006 Location: Bewitched in Ohio Posts: 70,376
	__________________ "Jesus loves you and He approves this message." "I'm alive. I'm feeling good. I'm trying to live every moment as much as I can." - Valerie Harper, March 2013

10-01-2008, 01:25 PM	#5
Zoneboy RIP, I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU :( Moderator Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 13, 2003 Location: AT HOME WISHING ALL THIS WAS JUST A DREAM AND THAT I'LL WAKE UP FROM THIS NIGHTMARE. Posts: 34,349
	__________________ 'Twas The Night Before Christmas And All Through The Full House Not A Creature Was Stirring, Not Even Mighty Mouse. All My Children We're Nestled All Snug In Their Beds While Visions Of Sugarbakers Danced In Their Heads.

10-01-2008, 04:09 PM	#6
catlover79 God Bless Val Forum Addict Join Date: May 29, 2006 Location: Bewitched in Ohio Posts: 70,376	^

10-01-2008, 04:53 PM	#7
AB Member Eternal Member Forum Icon Join Date: Dec 26, 2006 Location: The South Posts: 59,429	That was hilarious!

10-01-2008, 05:12 PM	#8
Wreckless Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Nov 04, 2007 Location: Banned Posts: 9,406	Go on Youtube. A guy on a sports forum randomly but hysterically added a video of a guy getting back at an annoying telemarketer . I'll have to get the name of the guy and the video again. The guy playing the prank called the guy at like his home house and he's like, where do you live and he was bugging him. The telemarketer was like, wait I live in Denver, he was bugging out like crazy, hilarious .

10-01-2008, 05:20 PM	#9
MonarC The truth will set you free Forum Fanatic Join Date: Dec 05, 2002 Location: 3rd Stone From The Sun Posts: 9,525	When I first got out of high school I worked as a telemarketer. They train you to be annoying. They tell you if the cx says no keep on pushing the "come-back bullets" until they have said no 3 times. Then you can close the call. I hated bothering people and quit after 3 months. Although it was great money at the time.

10-01-2008, 05:21 PM	#10
Wreckless Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Nov 04, 2007 Location: Banned Posts: 9,406	Yeah, telemarketers are like gnats, they come back and annoy the hell out of you, espec. when you're eating.

10-01-2008, 05:32 PM	#12
MonarC The truth will set you free Forum Fanatic Join Date: Dec 05, 2002 Location: 3rd Stone From The Sun Posts: 9,525	Well that was 10 years ago and I was making $10 an hour. Not sure what they make today.

10-01-2008, 05:33 PM	#13
Wreckless Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Nov 04, 2007 Location: Banned Posts: 9,406	Oh that's not bad/pretty good for a salary of over 10 years ago...it's probably like $11.50 or somethin now..you just have to call people and annoy them to death? lol..

10-01-2008, 05:45 PM	#14
MonarC The truth will set you free Forum Fanatic Join Date: Dec 05, 2002 Location: 3rd Stone From The Sun Posts: 9,525	Yeah they would also give out bonuses if you beat the quota for the day. So that's why they seem so annoying. They want to make their money too. Ask to be put on the DO NOT CALL LIST, or ask to speak with their supervisor that will get you off the list.

10-01-2008, 06:06 PM	#15
Wreckless Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Nov 04, 2007 Location: Banned Posts: 9,406	yeah or do what I do and change my voice every time they call and say Mr. Johnson is not here, even though my last name is not Johnson...then I hang up lol...I hate when they call during meals, I bet they do it on purpose, at least some of them prob. do, just to annoy the hell out of you. It's like, weatherman train to be good liars, while telemarketers are trained to piss you off I think lol.