Monday's Quotes: - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frank Gannucci · 09-29-2008, 09:26 AM

"Mod Couple" (aka "Honeymooners In England"):

(All four of them are rehearsing for the commercial.)

Trixie: "I don't think I am the maid type."

Ed: "She's right. Ralph, do you have a part that will be her type, like a bulldog?"

"Be It Ever So Humble":

Alice: "Ralph, waht do you want with your pancakes?"

Ralph (from other room): "What do you have?"

Alice: "Bacon, ham and sausage."

Ralph (from other room): "Okay."

Alice: "What's okay?"

Ralph (from other room): "Bacon, ham and sausage."

"Dial J For Janitor":

(Ed, who has been complaing to Ralph, the janitor about the lack of water in his apartment because of Ralph's neglience as janitor, comes in looking like he's sick.)

Ralph: "Can I get you anything?"

Ed: "Yes. Water! Water! Water! I want water!"

"Dial J For Janitor":

Ed: "When I was in the Navy, I went to see the doctor because my head hurt. The doctor said that it was a tumor and that he would remove it. He did. When I came back from the doctor, all the men asked me: 'What did the doctor remove, the tumor or the brain?'"

Ralph: "You don't have to ask me. I know what he removed."

"The Safety Award":

Ralph: "A group of men are picked to do a job. Trained in the same fashion as each other. There's always one man in the group that stands far in front of the others."

Ed: "Yeah, I guess you are right there Ralph. If you stood any more out in front, you wouldn't be able to get behind the wheel of a bus."

"Man In The Blue Suit":

Ralph: "I want you to know Alice that it was pretty lonely around here without you."

Trixie: "Aw Ed, why don't you ever talk to me like that?"

Ed: "I would be very happy too if you only go away once in a while."

"Hero Part 1":

Ed: "When we are playing stickball, why am I always chosen first to be on somebody's team?"

Ralph: "Because you are the only one that will get the ball when it goes down the sewer."

"Hero Part 1":

Tommy: "Did you know Mr. Kramden when he was a football star?"

Ed: "No Tommy. I was in Prep School at the time."

"In Twenty-Five Words Or Less":

Ed: "Why not call the dog Ralph."

Ralph: "Ralph?"

Ed: "Yeah, not only can people call him, dogs can call him too. Ralph! Ruff! Ralph! Ruff!"

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT!"

09-29-2008, 09:26 AM	#1
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,071	Monday's Quotes: "Mod Couple" (aka "Honeymooners In England"): (All four of them are rehearsing for the commercial.) Trixie: "I don't think I am the maid type." Ed: "She's right. Ralph, do you have a part that will be her type, like a bulldog?" "Be It Ever So Humble": Alice: "Ralph, waht do you want with your pancakes?" Ralph (from other room): "What do you have?" Alice: "Bacon, ham and sausage." Ralph (from other room): "Okay." Alice: "What's okay?" Ralph (from other room): "Bacon, ham and sausage." "Dial J For Janitor": (Ed, who has been complaing to Ralph, the janitor about the lack of water in his apartment because of Ralph's neglience as janitor, comes in looking like he's sick.) Ralph: "Can I get you anything?" Ed: "Yes. Water! Water! Water! I want water!" "Dial J For Janitor": Ed: "When I was in the Navy, I went to see the doctor because my head hurt. The doctor said that it was a tumor and that he would remove it. He did. When I came back from the doctor, all the men asked me: 'What did the doctor remove, the tumor or the brain?'" Ralph: "You don't have to ask me. I know what he removed." "The Safety Award": Ralph: "A group of men are picked to do a job. Trained in the same fashion as each other. There's always one man in the group that stands far in front of the others." Ed: "Yeah, I guess you are right there Ralph. If you stood any more out in front, you wouldn't be able to get behind the wheel of a bus." "Man In The Blue Suit": Ralph: "I want you to know Alice that it was pretty lonely around here without you." Trixie: "Aw Ed, why don't you ever talk to me like that?" Ed: "I would be very happy too if you only go away once in a while." "Hero Part 1": Ed: "When we are playing stickball, why am I always chosen first to be on somebody's team?" Ralph: "Because you are the only one that will get the ball when it goes down the sewer." "Hero Part 1": Tommy: "Did you know Mr. Kramden when he was a football star?" Ed: "No Tommy. I was in Prep School at the time." "In Twenty-Five Words Or Less": Ed: "Why not call the dog Ralph." Ralph: "Ralph?" Ed: "Yeah, not only can people call him, dogs can call him too. Ralph! Ruff! Ralph! Ruff!" Ralph (yells): "GET OUT!"