Saturday's Quotes: - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frank Gannucci · 09-27-2008, 10:00 AM

"On Stage":

Ralph (reading the script and walking towards the window): "'Come here, my dear. Look out there Rachael. Say yes and all of that is yours."

(Ed laughs.)

Ralph: "What's so funny?"

Ed: "What does Rachael want with a back of a Chinese restaurant and a
pizzeria?"

"People's Choice Part 1":

Ed: "You should go down to my Uncle's place in New Jersey. 'Bullets' will never find you there."

Ralph: "He won't?"

Ed: "No, I have been going down there for the past three Sundays in a row. I can't even find the place myself."

"Opportunity Knocks, But":

Ed: "As long as I am in an executive in that bus company, you are sure of being a bus driver as long as you live."

(Ralph gets up and signals for Ed to leave.)

Ed: "This is no way..."

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT!!!!!!!!!"

"House Beautiful" (aka "Pardon My Glove"):

Ralph: "What's the matter with you? Here my home is being broken up, my happiness destroyed and you want to know if I'm ready to go bowling?

Ed: "Sorry Ralph. How about shootin' a little some pool?"

"One Big Happy Family":

Ed (yells): "RALPH, I LEFT THE SOAP ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR."

Ralph (from bathroom, yells): "WHAT?"

Ed (yells): "I SAID THAT I..."

Ralph (from bathroom, yells): "I CAN'T HEAR YOU. TALK TO ME LATER."

Ralph (slipping on the soap, yells): "DUUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"One Big Happy Family":

Man (from upstairs, yells): "KNOCK OFF THE NOISE DOWN THERE!"

(Ralph goes to the window and sticks his head out.)

Ralph (yells): "SHUT UP BEFORE I REPORT YOU TO THE SUPERINTENDENT."

Man (from upstairs, yells): "I AM THE SUPERINTENDENT."

"Paris' Poor People":

Ralph: "If I were you, I wouldn't go out in the month of May."

Ed: "Why?"

Ralph: "Because that is when they gather nuts."

"Flushing Ho":

(Ed comes out with a sailboat.)

Ralph: "You don't mean to tell me that you kept me waiting out here for 20 minutes, while you played with a boat in the tub?"

Ed: "I'm sorry Ralph. This is a new boat. We were on the ShakeDown Cruise."

"Flushing Ho":

Ed: "I don't eat much."

Ralph: "Then who is eating it?"

(Ed looks at Ralph's stomach.)

Ed: "I rest my case."

09-27-2008, 10:00 AM	#1
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,067	Saturday's Quotes: "On Stage": Ralph (reading the script and walking towards the window): "'Come here, my dear. Look out there Rachael. Say yes and all of that is yours." (Ed laughs.) Ralph: "What's so funny?" Ed: "What does Rachael want with a back of a Chinese restaurant and a pizzeria?" "People's Choice Part 1": Ed: "You should go down to my Uncle's place in New Jersey. 'Bullets' will never find you there." Ralph: "He won't?" Ed: "No, I have been going down there for the past three Sundays in a row. I can't even find the place myself." "Opportunity Knocks, But": Ed: "As long as I am in an executive in that bus company, you are sure of being a bus driver as long as you live." (Ralph gets up and signals for Ed to leave.) Ed: "This is no way..." Ralph (yells): "GET OUT!!!!!!!!!" "House Beautiful" (aka "Pardon My Glove"): Ralph: "What's the matter with you? Here my home is being broken up, my happiness destroyed and you want to know if I'm ready to go bowling? Ed: "Sorry Ralph. How about shootin' a little some pool?" "One Big Happy Family": Ed (yells): "RALPH, I LEFT THE SOAP ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR." Ralph (from bathroom, yells): "WHAT?" Ed (yells): "I SAID THAT I..." Ralph (from bathroom, yells): "I CAN'T HEAR YOU. TALK TO ME LATER." Ralph (slipping on the soap, yells): "DUUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" "One Big Happy Family": Man (from upstairs, yells): "KNOCK OFF THE NOISE DOWN THERE!" (Ralph goes to the window and sticks his head out.) Ralph (yells): "SHUT UP BEFORE I REPORT YOU TO THE SUPERINTENDENT." Man (from upstairs, yells): "I AM THE SUPERINTENDENT." "Paris' Poor People": Ralph: "If I were you, I wouldn't go out in the month of May." Ed: "Why?" Ralph: "Because that is when they gather nuts." "Flushing Ho": (Ed comes out with a sailboat.) Ralph: "You don't mean to tell me that you kept me waiting out here for 20 minutes, while you played with a boat in the tub?" Ed: "I'm sorry Ralph. This is a new boat. We were on the ShakeDown Cruise." "Flushing Ho": Ed: "I don't eat much." Ralph: "Then who is eating it?" (Ed looks at Ralph's stomach.) Ed: "I rest my case."