Coping with the loss of a loved one... - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

MonarC · 09-23-2008, 08:58 PM

I am so depressed right now. Today marks the 1 year anniversary that my grandma passed away. We were very close. I was closer to her than my own mom. We had a bond like none other. It's just so hard to deal with the loss. I try to be strong and act like everything is fine for my son. But today I just feel so depressed. So to cope I have been listening to songs to help me cope and try to deal with the pain. A few beers have helped a little too. How do you deal with the pain of losing a loved one? Does it ever get easier? I am just so heartbroken!

MusicJunkie · 09-23-2008, 09:21 PM

I am so sorry. I wonder the same thing too. It's been nearly five years since I lost my mother and I still get down about it from time to time and still would gladly give up everything I had to spend one more day with her.

MonarC · 09-23-2008, 09:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MusicJunkie

I am so sorry. I wonder the same thing too. It's been nearly five years since I lost my mother and I still get down about it from time to time and still would gladly give up everything I had to spend one more day with her.

I know exactly how you feel. It's just like that song "Bye Bye" by Mariah Carey. "It's like your gone too soon, but the hardest thing to do is say bye bye."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJ5aNRpxRCo

*Pleasant Tomorrow* · 09-23-2008, 09:47 PM

I'm sorry, it definitely can't be an easy thing to deal with. Feel better soon.

KissMyGrits · 09-23-2008, 09:50 PM

I can totally understand where your coming from. My dad passed away 11 years ago, two months after my son was born.

I nearly lost it. If it wouldn't have been for my husband and son, I wouldn't have been able to go on. My dad raised me from the time I was 8 until I went away to college. Even then, he was still the most important man in my life.

I still can't watch the videos of him and my son together. It hurts because I know what a wonderful grandfather he would've been. He loved kids, no matter if they were related to him or not.

Songs are terrible too. I remember being in a store one time and hearing Diamond Rio's "One More Day" awhile after he passed away and I had to leave cause I seriously lost it. Tears started streaming down my face and I really freaked out.

The pain never really goes away. They were loved for a reason. It gets easier, but it never totally diminishes. Sometimes I wonder if my dad would appove of the way my son's turned out. I wonder if I'm doing half as good a job as he did raising me.

They were special and treasured. I like to think that all of our loved ones are sitting somewhere together watching over us. Talking to our hearts and telling us they love us.

Sorry, just my two cents....

Michelle

MonarC · 09-23-2008, 09:51 PM

Thanks I really do appreciate that. Im feeling better now that I have a good buzz going.

MonarC · 09-23-2008, 09:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KissMyGrits

I can totally understand where your coming from. My dad passed away 11 years ago, two months after my son was born.

I nearly lost it. If it wouldn't have been for my husband and son, I wouldn't have been able to go on. My dad raised me from the time I was 8 until I went away to college. Even then, he was still the most important man in my life.

I still can't watch the videos of him and my son together. It hurts because I know what a wonderful grandfather he would've been. He loved kids, no matter if they were related to him or not.

Songs are terrible too. I remember being in a store one time and hearing Diamond Rio's "One More Day" awhile after he passed away and I had to leave cause I seriously lost it. Tears started streaming down my face and I really freaked out.

The pain never really goes away. They were loved for a reason. It gets easier, but it never totally diminishes. Sometimes I wonder if my dad would appove of the way my son's turned out. I wonder if I'm doing half as good a job as he did raising me.

They were special and treasured. I like to think that all of our loved ones are sitting somewhere together watching over us. Talking to our hearts and telling us they love us.

Sorry, just my two cents....

Michelle

Thank you Michelle, I can totally relate. I am going through that myself. I hope that she is watching over me and my family. The pain is just so strong. I have never felt anything like this before. It's worse than getting your heartbroken by some stupid guy you might have a crush on that broke your heart. It's worst then child birth. It just sux!!!

Mr. Television · 09-23-2008, 11:16 PM

I'm coming upon the 6th anniversary of my Mom's death. It's still really hard especially with all the Holiday's coming up. It's just never the same. I manage to survive but not a day goes by that I don't think of her. I wish you all the best during this hard time.

TripperFan · 09-23-2008, 11:24 PM

I feel for you Hon. This October 13th marks the 12th anniversary of my mom's death and it falls on the same day of the week. I've been depressed for a while already about it. And to this day, can't hear Amy Sky's "I Will Take Care of You" without thinking about her and usually ending up in tears.

Sometimes it gets easier, but you'll always miss them. This year was my father's 28th year of passing yet it's been tougher than a lot of them. I find if you're having a tough bout of things in life, you tend to miss them even more since they were the ones you could usually turn to for support. And it doesn't matter how old you are when you lose them - you still feel like an "orphan".

Just go with the flow and let your feelings out. It's normal so there's no sense trying to stop it. Just good that you have friends to lean on.

MusicJunkie · 09-24-2008, 12:15 AM

I know that it's logical that parents are supposed to die before their kids (and my brother died before my mom did)... but it doesn't make it any easier on the children they leave behind IMO.

Part of me wishes death could be like on Charmed where all you have to say is an incantation and your grandma, mom, etc... can come back to earth and hang out for a bit.

LuLu Rogers · 09-24-2008, 12:54 AM

I lost my grandfather 4 years ago, just 2 days after my 17th birthday. I think about him everyday and miss him SO much.

Losing a loved one is hard and you never really get over it, just remember the good times you shared.

Janice · 09-24-2008, 01:32 AM

I'm sorry that you're feeling so sad. Anniversaries are difficult, especially all the "firsts". First Christmas, any holiday really, birthday, day of passing, on and on. I've found that it doesn't get so much easier, as it gets different and more manageble. I read a lot on grief, and the deep mourning of a big loss is about three years. That's when you're really in the thick of it. It subsides after that, and you enter the stage when you can think of your loved one in a better way, and remember the good times you shared.

It's very hard. There are some emotions that just assault our hearts, and this emotion is the cruelest of them all. I've long felt that loss is the price we pay for love. Again, I'm very sorry for your loss.

Wreckless · 09-24-2008, 08:09 AM

I am sorry, hope you feel better. My grandfather died around 10 years ago and it was hard losing him, he was a good man and I didn't know him that much, as much as I would of liked to. He worked 2 jobs and I was a kid when he was around. Anyways, MonarC I'm sorry and hope you will be alright.

sunshinefizzy · 09-24-2008, 08:48 AM

It sucks when a loved on like that passes on. I don't know if this will help but I feel that she is with you in spirit. You can't see her and you can't hear her voice. Yet I feel if you keep you ears and eyes open you will see she is answering your prayers. Everything's going to be okay, bud.

MonarC · 09-24-2008, 02:11 PM

Thank you so much for all your sweet words. It really means alot.

09-23-2008, 08:58 PM	#1
MonarC The truth will set you free Forum Fanatic Join Date: Dec 05, 2002 Location: 3rd Stone From The Sun Posts: 9,525	Coping with the loss of a loved one... I am so depressed right now. Today marks the 1 year anniversary that my grandma passed away. We were very close. I was closer to her than my own mom. We had a bond like none other. It's just so hard to deal with the loss. I try to be strong and act like everything is fine for my son. But today I just feel so depressed. So to cope I have been listening to songs to help me cope and try to deal with the pain. A few beers have helped a little too. How do you deal with the pain of losing a loved one? Does it ever get easier? I am just so heartbroken!

09-23-2008, 09:47 PM	#4
Pleasant Tomorrow Member Forum Addict Join Date: Feb 19, 2003 Location: New York Posts: 69,525	I'm sorry, it definitely can't be an easy thing to deal with. Feel better soon.
	__________________ my name is ashlee Welcome! Everything is fine.

09-23-2008, 09:50 PM	#5
KissMyGrits HEGM! Senior Member Join Date: Jul 01, 2004 Location: Las Vegas Baby! Posts: 2,135	I can totally understand where your coming from. My dad passed away 11 years ago, two months after my son was born. I nearly lost it. If it wouldn't have been for my husband and son, I wouldn't have been able to go on. My dad raised me from the time I was 8 until I went away to college. Even then, he was still the most important man in my life. I still can't watch the videos of him and my son together. It hurts because I know what a wonderful grandfather he would've been. He loved kids, no matter if they were related to him or not. Songs are terrible too. I remember being in a store one time and hearing Diamond Rio's "One More Day" awhile after he passed away and I had to leave cause I seriously lost it. Tears started streaming down my face and I really freaked out. The pain never really goes away. They were loved for a reason. It gets easier, but it never totally diminishes. Sometimes I wonder if my dad would appove of the way my son's turned out. I wonder if I'm doing half as good a job as he did raising me. They were special and treasured. I like to think that all of our loved ones are sitting somewhere together watching over us. Talking to our hearts and telling us they love us. Sorry, just my two cents.... Michelle
	__________________ check out my blog.... some ficcies, some about me and a whole lotta fun!! http://catniprules.livejournal.com/

09-23-2008, 11:16 PM	#8
Mr. Television 23 Years at Sitcoms Online Forum Icon Join Date: Jun 06, 2003 Location: Somewhere you're Not Posts: 62,132	I'm coming upon the 6th anniversary of my Mom's death. It's still really hard especially with all the Holiday's coming up. It's just never the same. I manage to survive but not a day goes by that I don't think of her. I wish you all the best during this hard time.
	__________________ Sonny

09-23-2008, 11:24 PM	#9
TripperFan In God's Arms Now Forum Star Join Date: Sep 14, 2003 Location: Heartbreak Ridge Posts: 12,086	I feel for you Hon. This October 13th marks the 12th anniversary of my mom's death and it falls on the same day of the week. I've been depressed for a while already about it. And to this day, can't hear Amy Sky's "I Will Take Care of You" without thinking about her and usually ending up in tears. Sometimes it gets easier, but you'll always miss them. This year was my father's 28th year of passing yet it's been tougher than a lot of them. I find if you're having a tough bout of things in life, you tend to miss them even more since they were the ones you could usually turn to for support. And it doesn't matter how old you are when you lose them - you still feel like an "orphan". Just go with the flow and let your feelings out. It's normal so there's no sense trying to stop it. Just good that you have friends to lean on.
	__________________ If I don't see you in this world, I'll meet you in the next one.....don't be late James Marshall Hendrix Voodoo Chile The Forum Legend formerly known as TripperFan "religion is for people who are afraid of hell--spirituality is for people who have been through hell"---anonymous

09-23-2008, 09:21 PM	#2
MusicJunkie Member Forum Regular Join Date: Sep 23, 2008 Location: where I live Posts: 791	I am so sorry. I wonder the same thing too. It's been nearly five years since I lost my mother and I still get down about it from time to time and still would gladly give up everything I had to spend one more day with her.

09-23-2008, 09:51 PM	#6
MonarC The truth will set you free Forum Fanatic Join Date: Dec 05, 2002 Location: 3rd Stone From The Sun Posts: 9,525	Thanks I really do appreciate that. Im feeling better now that I have a good buzz going.

09-24-2008, 12:15 AM	#10
MusicJunkie Member Forum Regular Join Date: Sep 23, 2008 Location: where I live Posts: 791	I know that it's logical that parents are supposed to die before their kids (and my brother died before my mom did)... but it doesn't make it any easier on the children they leave behind IMO. Part of me wishes death could be like on Charmed where all you have to say is an incantation and your grandma, mom, etc... can come back to earth and hang out for a bit.

09-24-2008, 12:54 AM	#11
LuLu Rogers Colonel Brandon Forum Star Join Date: Mar 23, 2004 Location: The Hogwarts Dungeons Posts: 11,013	I lost my grandfather 4 years ago, just 2 days after my 17th birthday. I think about him everyday and miss him SO much. Losing a loved one is hard and you never really get over it, just remember the good times you shared.
	__________________ -Lauren- "I can teach you how to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses. I can tell you how to bottle fame, brew glory, and even put a stopper in death."-Professor Severus Snape

09-24-2008, 01:32 AM	#12
Janice Retired Admin - Hollywood Swingin' Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 03, 2001 Location: Beantown Posts: 36,388	I'm sorry that you're feeling so sad. Anniversaries are difficult, especially all the "firsts". First Christmas, any holiday really, birthday, day of passing, on and on. I've found that it doesn't get so much easier, as it gets different and more manageble. I read a lot on grief, and the deep mourning of a big loss is about three years. That's when you're really in the thick of it. It subsides after that, and you enter the stage when you can think of your loved one in a better way, and remember the good times you shared. It's very hard. There are some emotions that just assault our hearts, and this emotion is the cruelest of them all. I've long felt that loss is the price we pay for love. Again, I'm very sorry for your loss.

09-24-2008, 08:09 AM	#13
Wreckless Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Nov 04, 2007 Location: Banned Posts: 9,406	I am sorry, hope you feel better. My grandfather died around 10 years ago and it was hard losing him, he was a good man and I didn't know him that much, as much as I would of liked to. He worked 2 jobs and I was a kid when he was around. Anyways, MonarC I'm sorry and hope you will be alright.

09-24-2008, 08:48 AM	#14
sunshinefizzy Member Senior Member Join Date: Sep 27, 2006 Location: Craptown Posts: 2,054	It sucks when a loved on like that passes on. I don't know if this will help but I feel that she is with you in spirit. You can't see her and you can't hear her voice. Yet I feel if you keep you ears and eyes open you will see she is answering your prayers. Everything's going to be okay, bud.

09-24-2008, 02:11 PM	#15
MonarC The truth will set you free Forum Fanatic Join Date: Dec 05, 2002 Location: 3rd Stone From The Sun Posts: 9,525	Thank you so much for all your sweet words. It really means alot.