Complete fanfic--> "A Broken Family"

[sue z q]

This has no really major plot but I just wrote it, it's kind of a look at the Exstead family right after the suicide of Carrie Exstead. It's not written in my usual style, but anyway, I hope you enjoy!

*14 year old Jinny Exstead was lying on her bed staring straight up into the ceiling. She hadn't slept well since....well, for quite some time. A knock on her bedroom door jolted her and she asked in a small whisper, "Who is it?"
"It's me," said her little brother Casey.
She wiped her face to make sure it wasn't wet, got out of bed, and opened the door. "Hey."
"Hey, Jin. Ummmmmmm...can I just stay in here a while?"
"Of course." The two kids stopped what they were doing and froze when they heard their father's raving voice from in the living room. He was laughing and pouring, laughing and pouring. Jinny wondered how good that must be, just to laugh and pour, laugh and pour, and not have a care in the world.
"Is something wrong?" asked Jinny.
Casey just looked at her, she knew what was wrong as well as he did. Two weeks ago their mother had taken her life, without a known reason, leaving three kids and a husband in indescribable shock.
"John's being weird," was the only way Casey could put his problems. He wished he didn't have to share a room with his older brother, John. He'd made everyone's life absolute hell.
"Come on in," Jinny said. They walked over to her bed and sat down.
Casey began to feel tears well up in his eyes. "He was making fun of me," he said through sobs. "He was saying how babyish I am for crying. But she was my mother!"
Jinny's face made no reaction. She felt the same way, but somehow tears didn't come to her like they did to Casey. She found mild solace in just staring expressionless into space, thinking, wondering...
"I know, Cas." She put her arm around her brother and tried her best to comfort him.
The two kids stopped once again when their father pounded on the door.
"Carrie?"
Casey lost it. The mere mention of her name could wound him.
"Carrie? Where are you hiding? Come out, come out, wherever you are!" he said in a playful drunk slur.
"He still thinks she's here." Jinny said, still showing no sign of emotion.
"I can't take this, Jinny." Casey put his face in his hands and wept. She just hugged him, still staring nowhere.

The next day was as typical as any other day. Everyone got out of bed, took a shower, got ready for school, ate breakfast, all in complete silence. No one looked at each other, no one talked, just did their routine duties to take their minds off other unpleasant thoughts. As Jinny came to the kitchen to make herself some toast, a vague memory of when she was nine came back to her. She was in the kitchen with her mom and they were making cookies. Jinny had wanted to taste some of the cookie dough, but her mom wouldn't let her because raw eggs were in it and she could get sick. Jinny was her stubborn self and grabbed the bowl and took a handful of cookie dough and put it in her mouth. Her mother scolded her for disobeying, but Jinny just smiled at her, happy that she got her way. Within a week, she was in the doctor's office complaining of an upset stomach. It turned she had contracted come bacteria from the eggs. She was scolded and her parents had to end up paying for some very expensive medication to treat the bacteria. Jinny began to wonder if that had pushed her over the edge, or if it had at least contributed to her problems. She began to wonder if she was the cause. She hadn't been an easy child, very stubborn, often wild, not top in her class....but a loud noise came rushing through the kitchen and interrupted her thoughts. It was her older brother, John. He came through the kitchen on his skateboard, grabbed Jinny and took her with him.
"Stop! Let me go!" she cried as she was being suspended in mid air on her brother's skateboard by his fierce grab.
"Come on! We never have any fun anymore! What a bunch of party-poopers!" With that, he put Jinny down, more like threw her, grabbed his lunch and headed on out for school.
He was the only person in their family who seemed completely unaffected by their mother's suicide. Her father stumbled in the room then. She turned around and looked at him, still breathing very hard from when her brother picked her up.
"You okay?" John Sr. Exstead asked, as he saw his daughter panting.
She nodded her head.
"It's 8:20, better get to school soon," he said as he began making his lunch, looking donw the whole time. Jinny wondered how he could be so drunk at night, then in the morning be so sober. Maybe he really wasn't, she wondered. She took her lunch, put her back-pack on and headed for school, all in silence. Her father looked out the window and watched her walk to school. He didn't want to see anything happen to his little girl.

As Jinny was walking, a blonde-haired girl came up to her and began walking side by side with her to school.
"You're Jinny Exstead aren't you?"
Jinny put her protective shield of toughness on and replied, "Yeah. So?"
"Your mom was in the papers wasn't she? A couple weeks ago?"
"Yeah. What about it?" she asked in a rough voice.
"I just wanted to say that I'm very sorry. I saw that picture of you and your dad watching them take her body away in the bag and you looked so-"
"What? Sad? Pathetic? I don't need your pity! My family's doing just fine!" With that she stomped ahead of the girl and walked even faster to get to school. The bolnde girl just stopped and looked at her, feeling hurt, yet understanding how hard that must be, to lose your mother.
Jinny walked up to her class, put her back pack down next to her seat, sat down, and sat stifly in her chair.
Just then her teacher came up to her.
"Jinny, how are doing today?" asked her teacher, Mrs. Wells.
"Fine," she said with her teeth gritted, staring straight ahead of her.
"Jinny, how can I help? I can't decrease the work load of school, but I can be careful on subject matter and I can watch out for you from the other kids.
"I said I'm fine," she said with her teeth still gritted and a glare in her eyes. "I don't need any of your help."
Mrs. Wells put her hand behind Jinny's head and tried to run her fingers through her tangled hair to comfort her, but Jinny would have none of it.
"Leave me alone," she said removing her hand from off her head. The teacher just looked her over and took her all in. She was not well kept, her hair didn't look combed, she obviously didn't care how she dressed....
"Jinny, do you need any help at home? I know you're the only girl at your house and-"
"What part of 'leave me alone' don't you understand?!" Jinny yelled. The whole class looked at her and she felt her eyes get wet. But she wouldn't cry, she couldn't cry.
Mrs. Wells decided to leave her alone. She walked up to the front of the class, a long walk from Jinny's desk, which was at the very back. She began the lessons for that day.

*As Jinny was walking home from a rough day at school, the blonde-girl came up to her again.
"Listen, Jinny, I didn't mean anything this morning when I-"
"Just go away," Jinny said with her head down.
"I just wanted-" but she was interrupted by her mother calling her.
"Megan! Megan! Hurry up, we're going miniature golfing this afternoon remember?" her mother called from down the street.
"I'll be right there, mom!" She turned back to Jinny. "Look if there's anything I can do."
"Yeah," Jinny said quietly, still looking down. She looked up briefly to see the girl run to her mom, hug her, and her whole family get in the car, all happy and excited for a fun filled afternoon. She wondered if her family would ever be like that again. They'd been just like that once. They went to fairs and her mom and dad went to clubs and danced. They used to go camping a lot on weekends when her father didn't have to work. Her thoughts were once again interrupted by her brother John walking behind her.
"Hey, squirt, why ya just standing there? C'mon, let's get home!" he said walking past her, taking long strides.
Jinny didn't answer but picked up her feet and walked home.

That night, at dinner, all was complete silence. Her father had barbequed some hamburgers, it was all he knew how to make. Jinny had made some rice with Casey's help, and everyone looked down at their plate as they ate, except for John Jr.
"Well, today were football tryouts," he said very happily and excited.
"That's great, John," said Casey, still looking down at his plate.
"Do you think you'll make the team?" asked their father, looking up.
"Yeah! Coach said I was real good! If I just keep my grades up, which I always have, I should be on the team!"
"Good." said John Sr. breathing heavily. He finished his hamburger and rice and looked at the table for more, but that was all they had. He remembered a time when they had a veritable feast every night, with how good of a cook his wife was. "Jinny, how was school for you, today?" he asked, trying to get his daughter to talk. Every since the suicide she'd been very quiet, not a usual thing for the Jinny he knew: wild, out-going, funny..
"Good," she said, not looking up.
"That's good." said her father.
She looked up at him briefly, but quickly put her head back down. Then Casey's voice came through as a cry, he was almost choking as he said, "Oh, c'mon, people, can't we talk about-"
"No, Casey," said his father sternly.
Casey looked back down at his plate, his face became distorted as he tried to hold back tears, but he couldn't. He got up from the table and ran to his room. Everyone sat in silence. Then John Sr. got up from the table slowly and went to the refrigerator. He got a beer out, opened it, and sat down at the table as he drank it.
"Can I have one?" as John Jr.
His father looked at him and shook his head. "You're underage," as he took another swig.
"Oh, come on, like you've never given us a beer before."
Jinny looked up at her father and brother. She remembered the four times her father'd given her a beer. First, when they were on a camping trip, second, when they were at a wedding party, third, when they were at one of the clubs her father took her mother to, and fourth, when they were on a vacation in Las Vegas. She remembered that trip. Her father and mother were very tense around each other when they got back. She suspected that her father had "gone out" with another woman while they were there, but she wasn't sure. Those times were the ones when her father had actually given her a beer, the other countless times she'd gotten one by herself were too hard to remember.
"Jinny? You okay?" he looked at his daughter, lost in thought. She'd been like that lately. He thought that maybe she was trying to relive some of those moments she'd had with her mother.
"Huh?" asked Jinny, returning to reality.
"You gonna do the dishes?" her father asked.
She nodded and picked up her plate and took into the kitchen, washing it off in the sink. She came back in and took her father and brother's plates out to the kitchen, too.

That night, her father and her brothers were watching T.V. Football, to be precise. Casey didn't like it, but he watched it to be one of the guys. Jinny sat in her room, trying to focus her mind on her homework, but she was not succeeding. She'd try and think who it was that was searching for the fountain of youth, then get side-tracked and she would completely lose focus. The answer came to her, and she wrote in her notebook Ponce de Leon. She looked at it and wondered if that was right or not. She wasn't sure, but didn't feel like looking it up in her history book. She heard laughing coming from her living room. She almost didn't recognize it was laughter, it'd been so long since she heard it coming from her house and her family. She got and ran into the living room to see what was so funny.

Her brother John and her father were throwing the football around. John Sr. was teaching John Jr. the finer points of football. Her father was definetly drunk, and she wondered if he'd given John a beer by the way he was acting. They were laughing and snorting and being "men" as she and Casey watched, not sure whether to laugh with them, or tell them to be careful to not knock anything over.
"Guys, be careful," Casey pleaded as he saw the ball go flying through the air and just miss a lamp.
"Ah, you baby, don't be so cautious!" John Jr. yelled at his little brother.
"You guys, mom wouldn't-" but she stopped herself. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at her. How dare she mention mom, they all thought.
"You shut up!" John Jr. screamed at his little sister.
"Hey," said their father mildly.
"I don't want to hear anymore outta you!" John Jr. continued on his rampage. He looked at the football in his hand and without thinking, he threw it at the small form that was his little sister, Jinny. Jinny saw him throw the ball and ducked, falling to the floor.
"Stop it!" Casey yelled. If anything happened to his older sister, his one and only friend, he wouldn't know what to do.
"That's enough, now, John," the kids father said coldly at his eldest son.
"I hate it when she does that!" he yelled. He looked at her with flames in his eyes and started running towards her. She ran down the hall as fast as she could away from him, but he was too big and too swift. He caught her shoulders and made her fall underneath him. He sat on top of her and she was terrified.
"Get off of me!" Jinny yelled.
"Don't ever mention her again," he said slapping her. The look in his eyes made her tremble and she made an undefinable sound when he slapped her. She put a hand to her cheek and could feel it burning, along with her eyes.
"What a bunch a babies!" John yelled as he got up from off of her and went into his room and slammed the door.
Jinny just lied there, holding her cheek as her father and Casey came running up to her.
"Are you okay, Jin?" asked Casey.
"Here, baby," her father said as he gave her a hand to help her up. As she straightened up, he hugged her. He felt his shirt getting damp as her tears bled through. She noticed she was getting his shirt wet, so she pulled away from him. She looked up into his eyes for a moment then ran to her room and shut the door. John Sr. looked at the door for a few moments then headed to the kitchen for another beer, his seventh that night. Casey looked from her door to his father and felt completely and utterly helpless.

He decided to go to Jinny's room. He knocked on her door. "Jinny? It's me."
"Come in," she said, sounding very composed. She was no longer crying, but just sitting on her bed, staring at the floor.
"We need to do something fun," he said, trying to cheer her up.
"Like what?" she asked sarcastically. She'd begun to use sarcasm quite a lot lately. It made people laugh and accept her, and it also accurately captured her feelings.
"Oh, I don't care. Go to a funny movie or something."
"Yeah, we'll have to do that one of these days."
"Did John hurt you?"
"No," she said with finality not wanting to go any further on what just happened. "I'm going to go to bed early tonight."
"Okay, I'll go to my room then. Goodnight." He got up, went to the door and looked back at his sister about to say something, but she stopped him.
"I'm okay, really," she said, looking up. It'd been a while since her head had looked straight forward and her neck started to hurt a little.
Casey nodded and went out of her room, closing the door.
Jinny changed into a long shirt and got into bed. She just lied there, thinking so many thoughts. She thought about that day and all it's happenings, she thought about the blonde girl and her brothers. She thought her father and his drinking, but one thought was always with her- the thought of her mother's suicide. It would always be with her. She would move on to high school, and she was going to become a cop someday, just like most of her family. She might get married someday and have kids, but that one thought would always be with her. She dozed off, tired from her day, with the sound of the ice in her father's drinks lulling her to sleep.

What did you think?

[Jinny_Extead]

That was really great!! I loved it!

[jo_24]

Awesome! You're a great writer! Keep up the good work!

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"You can take the girl out of the Bronx, but you can't take the Bronx out of the girl."

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Teddy: Be honest with me, not my parents!

Jinny: All right, fine. You want honesty? Why don't you let me tell you a little bit about my family? See, I never really never had a birthday party unless of course you wanna count my 15th, when my father showed up for cake, plastered in his underwear! Oh... yeah, by the way, my mom couldn't make it that year either because, well, sadly, six months earlier she BLEW HER BRAINS OUT!!!!!

Teddy:God, Jinny

Jinny: As for my brother, ugh... yeah, John... see, he just doesn't like you unless your American, white, and straight... and for me... a few weeks ago when uh... I had that nut case after me... yeah, I had to make a little list, of all the guys that I've slept with in the last two years. I couldn't remember some of their names.

Teddy: Stop.

Jinny: Ya know what? THIS IS WHO I AM, THIS IS MY FAMILY!!!! Come on, it's your turn. You go ahead, flash that all-American, prep school, choir boy smile and you tell me that it doesn't matter... it doesn't change anything... Yeah, that's what I thought!


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"Basically people are who people are. You're born, you die, you're pretty much the same person. All the rest is just window dressing."~Jinny Exstead

Nancy is Slammin'!

[Joanna Marie_1]

AWESOME...you should write a sequel!

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"As any of the local bartenders can tell ya, I'm a sympathetic ear" ~ Jinny Exstead

"Your born and you die pretty much the same person, all the rest is just window dressing" ~ Jinny Exstead

"People...isnt that just the craziest word u ever done heard?" ~ me *LOL*

[sue z q]

Originally posted by Joanna Marie_1:
AWESOME...you should write a sequel!

Oh, man, here I go with sequels again! lol I just kinda wrote that off the top of my head and thought that was it, but today I just kept going. I'll post some of what I've written now, then I'll post the rest later. I'm going to NC tomorrow so I don't really want to start a fanfic and not finish it, but NEway, here's more:

She awoke that night around three. Her eyes flew open as the sound of someone banging on her door shook her. She looked at the door and didn't know who it was or what to think.
"Carrie! Carrie?! Come out! Stop hiding!" shouted her father completely plastered, happily thinking her disappearance was a game. She wondered why he always knocked on her door and not John and Casey's.
"I love you, honey! Please!" Then the cries became sad. They lost their playfulness. "Please! Come back!" cried the distraught and disparate man.
Jinny couldn't help it. Her father's helplessness and pain cut into her and aroused those same feelings in her, too. She began to choke with tears.
"Please?!" he cried once more and she heard him slide down her door and land on the floor. She decided to get up and see if he was okay. As she opened the door her father's upper body slid off the door and into her room. He was lying there, half in the hall and half in her room. He'd passed out.
"Dad?" He didn't wake up. She wasn't worried, he'd done this many times before. He slowly opened his eyes and looked up and saw her leaning over him, looking at him.
"Dad, do you need help getting back to your room?" she asked as she put her hand out in front of him. He didn't understand. "Do you need help getting up?" He still made no response or reaction to what she said. He reached out his hand and put it to her face. He began to cry. He pulled her head to his chest. He held her tight and kissed her hair. Jinny just went along with what he was doing.
"I'm sorry, baby," he said through tears.
"It's okay, dad."
Just then John and Casey came bursting out of their room.
"What's going-" started John, but he stopped. He saw the two of them, hugging each other. John tightened his jaw and went back in his room, throwing himself on the bed. Casey just looked at them, wanting that same love and attention from his dad. He made sure everyone was okay and went back in his room, quietly shutting the door.

That next morning, both Jinny and her dad had fallen asleep in those positions. Her dad always woke up at seven sharp, no matter what. His eyes popped open and he put his free hand to his head immediately, the joys of a hangover setting in. He squinted and felt the limp body next to him. It finally registered in his murky head it was his daughter. He tried to wake her up, cause he had to start getting ready for work.
"Jinny? Jinny?"
Her eyelids lifted and she saw her dad staring at her. She became embarrassed and got up.
"Guess I was so tired I couldn't make it to my bed," he said, trying to humor things up.
Jinny just looked away, staring at a piece of carpet.
"Jinny, come here." He motioned for her to sit down beside him. She did. He took a deep breath to say something but got lost in his thoughts. He looked away from her trying to remember what he was going to say. Jinny was hoping he would say something like, 'Everything's going to be okay.' or maybe tell her why she did it. "Get ready for school, " he said, the words running out of him to avoid saying something else. Her hopes fell, and she got up and headed for her room to 'get ready for school.'

That day at school wasn't of any importance except for one small incident. Towards the end of lunch a boy walked up to her table shyly.
"Hi," he said looking at her as she finished her sandwich.
She looked up and mustered, "Hi."
He couldn't think of anything to say to her so he looked at her lunch to see if maybe they could talk about something concerning that. He looked in her lunch and saw she just has a water bottle and the sandwich she's eating.
"That's not a very big lunch your mom gave you," he said very innocently. "Want some of mine?" he said sitting down next to her.
"My mother made great lunches!" she yelled at him. The words leaping from her mouth, as if they were bullets.
"Made?" he stared at her confused.
She looks down again, "Go away."
"I'm-"
"Go away!" she says standing up, looking right at the boy. He gets up immediately and runs to the safety of the boy's table.
"What'd she say?" one of his friends asked.
"She was all mad about something. I wonder if it as something I said." He glances back over at her. She's sitting by herself on one of the benches, eating her sandwich, not looking up.

That afternoon Jinny was just getting back to her house. She walked in the door and headed for her room. She was all alone in the house. Usually her mother was there when she got home, ready to listen to what happened that day at school, but of course, she wasn't. She reached her room, put her backpack down and decided to see if there were any messages on the phone. Her father often had to leave a message saying he'd be home later or earlier or something. She pressed the play button.
"Hi, it's dad. I won't be home tonight till very late, drug bust. Make something or you can order out. There's money in my top drawer. John, you can't go to that party tonight. Stay home with Case and Jin. Well, see ya probably tomorrow morning, bye."
Jinny went to his room and looked in his top drawer. After fishing through some 'hidden' beer cans she found a twenty-dollar bill. She figured they'd order Chinese, her favorite. The opening and slamming of the door made her look up.
"Jinny?" said John as he walked in the house.
"In here," she said.
"Oh." He walks to his father's room. "I'm leaving for the party earlier than I'd told dad. Tell him I left at," he looks at his watch, "Three-thirty."
"You can't go to the party tonight."
"What?"
"Dad, left a message, he'll be late. You have to stay home with Casey and me."
"What?!" He runs to the phone and listens to the message. She hears his fist hit the desk. She cringes and looks in the room where he is.
"I don't care what he says, I'm going!" He goes in his room, changes his shirt into something more 'party-oriented' and starts for the door.
"John, dad'll get mad at you."
"If you were smart you'd realize now that he doesn't mean anything. Remember when I broke that old clock throwing the football around. He got all mad and grounded me for life, then the next day he changed it to a week. Surely, you know him well enough by now." With that he opened the door and ran into Casey. "You're so slow!" he yelled at his little brother as he pushed him inside and slammed the door behind him on his way out. Casey looked over at Jinny and rolled his eyes. John could be so tense and weird sometimes.
"Hey, Jin."
"Hey, Case. Dad's not gonna be home tonight, so he says to order out. Chinese?"
Casey nods and heads for his room to put his backpack down. Just then the telephone rings. Jinny answers it.
"Exsteads....No, he can't come to the phone right now, can I take a message?" Yes, Jinny was well trained.
"What's your name, sir?"
The man on the line answered, "Hank Evans."
"Oh." Jinny didn't recognize the name. "May I ask what this call is regarding?"
"Who is this?"
"This is his daughter, Jinny."
"Oh, well, just tell him I called."
"He'd rather have a message."
"You know your father well, he always wanted to know what was going on. Well, first I'd like to say that I'm very sorry about your mother. I knew her a long time ago. We actually dated in high school. I just wanted to send him my condolences. We fought over her quite a lot." He laughs recalling those memories.
"You knew her?"
"Yeah, like I said, we dated. Well, I've got to go. I just heard about it over here in Connecticut, and I had to call."
"Okay."
"Thank you, um, what was your name again?"
"Jinny"
"Jinny, that's right. I remember him calling me when you were born, and him telling me how happy he and Carrie were to have a girl." Jinny smiles, her father had never told her that he wanted a girl. "Well, I'd love to meet you someday, he always says you look just like your mother." Jinny's smile brightened. She'd always thought her mother was very beautiful, and she took that as a compliment. "Well, like I said, I have to go. Please give him my message, and thanks again, Jinny."
"Thank you," she says as she puts the phone down. Her smile fades as she sees her parents wedding picture on the mantle. She thought her father'd taken all the pictures of her down, but for some reason, he kept that one up. Casey's voice interrupts her.
"Jinny?"
"What?" she says turning around.
"You gonna order the food now?"
"Yeah." She walks over to the phone and orders their usual.

That night at eleven-thirty, John Sr. comes through his front door. Some of his cop buddies come in with him. They're laughing and talking about that night's successful drug bust.
"Did you see the dudes face when we strolled in?" one of them says slapping his knee.
"I know, I know, a deer caught in the headlights," her father says.
Jinny is awake, of course, and listens to their talking. She hears beer cans being opened and wants one more than anything. She decides to sneak into the kitchen, grab a beer and take it back to her room. She opens her door quietly and peeks out from it to determine where her father and his friends are. They're in the den. The only way they could see her is through the partly opened door in the hall that leads to the den. She tiptoes out of her room and decides to run really fast past the door. Her father sees her.
"Jinny? Was that streak of lightning you?" he chuckles.
"Hi, dad. I was just getting some water," she lies, coming back to the door and looking in.
"Jinny? How ya been?" one of the guys asks good-humourdly.
Another one of the guys leans into that guy and whispers soberly, "She just lost her mother, how do you think she's been?"
"I've been good," she says fake smiling at the men. They all looked so handsome and appealing in their uniforms. Her hormones began to rage. She especially liked Pat, one of the men her father worked with. He was the one who whispered that comment.
"That's good, that's good," says the guy who asked.
"Jinny, it's late, get to bed," her father says.
"All right, just let me get some water, okay?"
He nods and the guys start talking again as she's in the kitchen getting a beer.
"She's quite a beauty, John." The guy pauses and looks down. "Just like Carrie."
"Gonna break a lotta hearts, Johnnyboy," they tease him.
"Stop it, guys, stop it," he says laughing and waving his hand loosely at the men.
Jinny has her beer and holds it on the opposite side of her, so the guys won't see it as she's walking past the door.
"Night, Jin," he says as she walks bye. "Oh, wait, Jinny, I have to ask you something."
"What?" she says from in front of her door.
"Come here."

More a little later! What do ya think?

[JoJoJoJoJoJoJoJoJo]

Oh, can't WAIT for more!!!1

[Joanna Marie_1]

OMG this is great pleeeaaaase add more really soon...ko?

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"As any of the local bartenders can tell ya, I'm a sympathetic ear" ~ Jinny Exstead

"Your born and you die pretty much the same person, all the rest is just window dressing" ~ Jinny Exstead

"People...isnt that just the craziest word u ever done heard?" ~ me *LOL*

[Bang A Gong]

That was so great.

[sue z q]

Thanks everyone 4 your great replies! I guess this'll be all for now. I might add more when I get back from NC in THREE weeks. My parents are cruel, that is way too long for me to be away from my computer...but, anyway, here's the end, for now. Enjoy!

She puts the beer can in front of her door really fast and walks to the den. "What is it?"
"Did John stay home with you and Case?"
"He went to the party."
"I knew it! Has he come back yet?"
She shakes her head.
"Ha, just like you, John! Sneaking out to parties, getting drunk, meeting some women and-" he stops and looks at Jinny and decided to rephrase what he was going to say, "having some fun!" All the guys laugh and hit each other. 'What a bunch a jerks,' she thinks. 'All except for Pat, of course.'
"Thanks, Jinny, well, get to bed. Night."
"Night, dad." She breathes a sigh of relief, goes to her room, picks up the beer can and sits on her bed. She opens the can quietly to not make any noise and pours the cool, refreshing liquid down her throat. It tastes so good and feels even better. She takes another swish and closes her eyes to get the full-effect and let the alcohol drown her. Her memory kicks in though, against her will. She remembers a time exactly like this when she was drinking a beer can in her room late one night, and her mother found her. She'd grabbed the can from out of her hands, spilling some of it. "Don't ever drink this horrible stuff!" she said. She was almost in tears. She threw the can in the trash and looked at Jinny with a very disappointed look on her face. "I thought you were much smarter than that, Jinny!" she yelled. "I thought you had a lot more sense than your father, but I guess I was wrong!" She glares out of Jinny's room, toward where her father was, then looks back at Jinny. She'd calmed down a little bit when she said, "Jinny, promise me you'll never drink this junk again." She looked right into Jinny's eyes. Jinny said, "I won't," looking just as deep into her mother's green eyes. "Good." With that, she'd walked out of he room. Jinny was twelve when that happened. The memory of that promise which had been broken many times pushes Jinny over the edge. She wondered if maybe that's what made her mother do it. 'Having a drunk daughter who doesn't keep her promises would certianly hurt a mother,' Jinny thought. The weight of that guilt was too heavy for the 14 year old. She chugged down a large gulp of the beer and felt her pain ease.

Later that night, about two in the morning, Jinny had passed out on the floor of her room, with the beer can still in her hand. Her father's friends had left, and John Sr. liked to, whenever he could, peek in at his sleeping children. It brought back lovely memories of when the kids were very little and he and Carrie would look in their rooms and see the peaceful and sleeping kids. He opened the door of his boys' room and saw Casey cuddled up to his pillow, sleeping in a ball. John's bed was empty and he shook his head sadly at the young boy's rebellion. He went next to Jinny's room. He opened her door without making a sound and saw her, lying on the floor with the beer in her hand. His heart sank. He knew that even though it was her choice to get the beer, he hadn't been the greatest father by giving her beers occasionally. He went in, still making no noise, and picked her up and layed her down on her bed. He took the can out of her hand and threw it in her trash can. He pulled the sheets over her, and she woke up.
"Dad?" she said in a husky and tired voice.
"It's me. Go to sleep."
"Dad, I didn't mean to-"
"Go to sleep," he said sternly.
She all of a sudden put her hand to her head and felt a sick, nauseous feeling sweep over her body, starting from her head and hitting her toes with such force she shot out of bed and flew to the bathroom. Her father followed her and held her trembling body as she threw up the poison. He held her up right, so she wouldn't collapse. Tears started streaming down her face. Once she was done and felt free of the junk she truned around to face her father and hugged him. He held her close.
"Jinny, you know you shouldn't be drinking."
"Why don't you practice what you preach, dad!" She'd never yelled back or stood up to her father before, but she liked the feeling. It made her feel powerful and in control.
"Don't you talk to me like that! You know that if your mother saw you like-" but he couldn't go on. He just brought her back to him and hugged her. They cried together, feeling each other's sympathy, yet never talking about it.

In the morning, Jinny felt a little better, but the alcohol had still taken its toll. She got up and dressed for school. She was just pulling her shirt over her head when her brother John ran in her room.
"John!" she screamed turning away from him, so he wouldn't see anything.
"Shut up!" he said, getting in her closet.
"What do you think you're doing?"
"I just came back from the party, and dad's looking for me! Just let me hide here for a while!"
"Whatever happened to be being 'smart enough to know that dad doesn't mean anything'?"
"What's that smell?" he asks. "Were you drinking? It smells like alcohol in here!" he says laughing at his little sister's boldness.
"Yeah, what about it?"
"Does dad know?"
"Yes."
"Way to go!" says John ducking into her closet. "What's this?" he asks grabbing a package of something out from her closet.
"Give me those," she says grabbing the package of pads. "Brothers' she thinks to herself.
Her father comes in her room just then.
"John in here?"
Jinny doesn't answer but points to her closet. He takes her subtle hint and looks over at her closet. He walks closer to it and throws his head in real fast scaring John, "JOHN!"
"Dad, you scared me!"
"Get out of there, and you look me square in the face," he said with anger flowing out of his ears.
"Dad, it was a great party, you should have been there," he said, trying to make it sound better than it was, and to get his father on his side.
"Empty your pockets."
"Dad-"
"Empty your pockets!"
John did as he was told. Several condoms fell out and his father glared at him with that same fire in his eyes. He slapped his son and said, "NEVER do that again! You will have NO, I repeat, NO privileges for two months! That includes television use, phone use, car use, everything!" their father stomped out of Jinny's room leaving Jinny and John staring at each other.
"You still think dad doesn't mean anything?" Jinny shot at her brother.
"You shut up!" He grabbed his sister and threw her on the ground with a punch to her stomach and knocked the wind out of her.
"John, you hurt me!"
He imitated her little voice, "John, you hurt me!"
Jinny jumped up with a strength she didn't know she had and handed him a left hook he wouldn't soon forget. He looked at his little sister in shock. He couldn't stand the feeling of humiliation. He wouldn't let a girl hit him. He slapped her, then gave her another punch to the stomach. She recovered from off the floor after the punch and flung her fist at him, not aiming anywhere in particular. He held his left side after her punch. She then kicked him where she knew it would hurt. He grabbed his malehood and fell to the ground whimpering in pain. Jinny crossed her arms and smiled, happy and surprised at her strength. She then remembered her throbbing eye and stomach, but that didn't diminish her victory. She walked out of her room with a smug look on her face and headed for school.

About mid-day at school her teacher came up to her during one of their breaks. She was concerned enough about the little girl who'd lost her mother, but was particularly scared to see a black eye forming.
"Jinny, did somebody hurt you?" she asked with a worried look on her face. She knew how a parent could get after losing a spouse.
"My brother, John did it, but I beat him back," she said with a happy expression. She was wondering when someone would ask her about it so she could tell them of her victory.
"Jinny, sibling abuse is not something to be laughing at, you could be seriously hurt. And I know the size of your brother, John. He could really do some damage to you."
"I can take care of myself, okay?!" she yelled and got up to go outside for her break, where everyone else was.
Mrs. Wells just watched as the young girl stormed out. She knew she was in a lot of pain, and it would probably be years before she fully recovered, if anyone can actually recover from a parent committing suicide.

After school that day, Jinny came home and was surprised to see her father sitting on the couch.
"Dad? You're early," she said as she came closer to where her father was.
He looked up at her with bloodshot eyes then looked back down. She looked at what he was looking at. It was a picture. It was a family picture of all of them, taken about a month before she killed herself.
"The pictures were developed," he said so quietly it was almost inaudible.
Jinny came over to the couch and sat by her father's saide.
"I was let off early," he said.
"Oh." She looked at the picture. She looked at her mom. She looked so carefree. She was hugging her kids and holding her husband's hand, and was the picture of perfection. Jinny's questions rose to the surface and she had to ask.
"Why?"
"Hmm?" he said tearing himself away from the picture and looking at his daughter.
"Why'd she do it?" she asked expressionless, staring at the picture. Her emotions grabbed hold of her and she couldn't shake them off. Her voice became stronger and she looked up at her dad, hoping with all her might that he would give her some kind of answer, "WHY?! TELL ME!!"
"Jinny, Jinny, shhhhhh..."
"Don't tell me to shhhhhh, GIVE ME AN ANSWER!" she screamed.
"I DON'T KNOW!" he cried. She looked at him with a hatred and an anger she'd never felt before. Her body then started to shake. Her emotions and pain jolted her body with such force her father had to hold her still. He pulled her close to him and hugged her as her eyes began to overflow with tears. He knew it would be a long road. For her. For him. For all of them. He sat there rocking her, recalling when she was a baby and her mother was out somewhere either getting groceries or shopping and he would be all alone with his little girl. And when she cried he was the only one there to hold her and rock and give her what she was crying for. Now, her mother was permanently gone. She wouldn't come strolling in from the grocery store or come in with her new dress on. It was now only him to comfort his daughter. He wondered if he could do it.
As Jinny was being rocked she felt a pain and an anger that overwhelmed her, she wished it would just all go away. She wished that everything she'd ever known and would know would leave. She wished she'd never been born and had never gotten to know her mother. She thought about ending it all, just like her mother. She figured wherever she was, her mother was happier there. One thing came to her mind: a drink. She saw how happy her father was when he was drunk. He wasn't so happy the next morning throwing up over the toilet, but that was a small price to pay, in her mind, for an entire night without a care in the world. She pulled away from her father. Got up from the couch and headed for the kitchen. John Sr. just stared at his daughter at her abrupt upheaval.
Jinny opened the refrigerator door and got out a beer. She put it in her backpack, which was still sitting on the floor and took all her things to her room. She closed the door, sat on her bed, and opened the liquid that she saw as life. It was to become like oxygen to her. It would rule her life and her body for years to come. It would drive her to do things she never thought she'd do. But only time would tell if she would ever recover from the suicide of her mother, Carrie Exstead. She felt the cold, fresh, and understanding alcohol enter her system. It made all her nerves numb; it deadened her emotions. It felt so good. To not feel pain. To not feel guilt. To not feel emotions. To not feel life.

So?

[Joanna Marie_1]

OMG AWESOME!!!!!! You should write more b4 u go...i would really like to see something happen between jin and pat she seems to like him...o btw u cant get drunk on one beer even if u havent ever had one, but its still awesome! Hard liquor is a different story tho....tequila, rum, vodka, Jack daniels whiskey or any kind of whiskey for that matter!

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"As any of the local bartenders can tell ya, I'm a sympathetic ear" ~ Jinny Exstead

"Your born and you die pretty much the same person, all the rest is just window dressing" ~ Jinny Exstead

"People...isnt that just the craziest word u ever done heard?" ~ me *LOL*

[This message has been edited by Joanna Marie_1 (edited 07-31-2001).]

[sue z q]

Originally posted by Joanna Marie_1:
o btw u cant get drunk on one beer even if u havent ever had one, but its still awesome!

I'm no expert or anything, but I figure since she's such a small mass, only 14 years old, it wouldn't take her a lot to get drunk. But, if I'm wrong please correct me, I'm no authority or anything. If more comes to me I'll post it B4 we leave, thanks for reading!

[Bang A Gong]

This is excellent!

I'm only 13 and when my dad is at work at night and my mom is asleep I drink beer with my brother like 2 cans and i start laughin alot and i cant walk in a perfectly straight line but i cant even do that when im sober but i never pass out or nothinlike her

[Joanna Marie_1]

Instead of having her sneak a beer, maybe u should have her sneak a bottle of vodka or something hard like that! That would get her drunk fast...im 14 and one beer by far doesnt get me drunk! It takes me at least 3 to get buzzed!

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"As any of the local bartenders can tell ya, I'm a sympathetic ear" ~ Jinny Exstead

"Your born and you die pretty much the same person, all the rest is just window dressing" ~ Jinny Exstead

"People...isnt that just the craziest word u ever done heard?" ~ me *LOL*

[NancyJoJinny]

Actually, contrare too popular belife you CAN get drunk of one beer... Umm, considering theres this bar here the brews their own and in a pint of beer theres a 7.3 alcohol... ishness, i forget the word... Whatever, its just really strong beer! My cuz whos 23 and who often drinks atleast 6 beers at a time, got drunk of one of those things... w/e anyway! I LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE THIS STORY!

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On April 24, 2008 Kaley and I are going too meet in LA, and hancuff ourselfs too Nancy McKeons car, or better yet her! And your not! Were also gonna find Jay Harrington too.

Teddy: Be honest with me, not my parents!
Jinny: All right, fine. You want honesty? Why don't you let me tell you a little bit about my family? See, I never really had a birthday party unless you wanna count my 15th, when my father showed up for cake, plastered in his underwear! Oh, yeah, by the way, my mom couldn't make it that year either because, well, sadly, six months earlier she blew her brains out!!!!!
Teddy: Jinny, my God.
Jinny: As for my brother, uh yeah, John... see, he just doesn't like you unless your American, white, and straight! and for me, a few weeks ago when I had that nut case after me... yeah, I had to make a little list, of all the guys that I've slept with in the last two years. I couldn't remember some of their names.
Teddy:Stop! What are you...
Jinny: Ya know what? This is who I am, THIS IS MY FAMILY!!!! Come on, it's your turn. You go ahead, flash that all-American, prep school, choir boy smile and you tell me that it doesn't matter! *long pause* Yeah... Thats what I thought.

~DANA JINNY EXSTEAD ~

The Dana parts Real... The rest i stuck in there for fun.