The Facts of Life (& Death)

[tv star collector]

From Mad magazine in the 1970s (and still relevant today) ...

From what we are told
Without any let-up,
We might just as well
Not bother to get up!

The cars that we drive
Are lethal, they say,
And so is the air
We breathe every day.

Our lakes and our streams
Are so putrified
That taking a swim
Is sheer suicide.

The bright shining sun
Has dangerous rays
That deepen our tans
But shorten our days.

Those new drugs prescribed
For when we are ill
Produce side effects
That quite often kill.

And cows that give milk
Munch inspect-sprayed grass
Which poisons small pests
And us, too, alas.

The chemicals put
Into bread to ******
Its spoilage can leave
Our viscera scarred.

And healthy red meat
Is loaded with lard
Which, now we're informed,
Makes arteries hard.

The doctors all warned
To curb our intake
Of sugared desserts
Like ice cream and cake,

But recent tests prove,
We learn with alarm,
That subsitute sweets
Can do us more harm.

The experts said sleep
Should be long and sound,
But now too much sleep
Is fatal, they've found.

They said we should trot
Through wind, rain and fog;
But now they find hearts
Fall down on the jog.

With all of these warnings
Of pain, doom and strife,
It's hard to imagine
A fate worse than life!

-- Ronnie Nathan

[Karen64]

Interesting! That's still so true today!

I'd rather live by these words, though:

Life's NOT a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a well preserved body; but rather skidding in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand, Godiva in the other - body thoroughly used up and worn out; and screaming: "WOOHOO! What a ride!"

And one of my college teachers liked to say,
"Life is sexually transmitted..and it's ALWAYS fatal"