Quote some funny lines from some funny movies

[GARFIELDKOOL]

I still can't get enough of some lines in the original "National Lapoon's Vacation" I love the part when Clark drives through the rough part of St. Louis and he asks that pimp for directions.

Clarke-"Excuse me, can you tell me how can I get back on the expressway?"

The Pimp-"F*uck yo mamma!"

LOL I never get tired of that scene!

[phoebe7165]

Doesn't Clark answer back "Thank you" in a way only Chevy Chase can do it?

Probably one of the most classic lines from "Airplane" --

Ted: "Surely you can't be serious."
Dr. Rumack: "I am serious, and don't call me Shirley!"

When the movie came out on DVD, they even called it the "Don't Call Me Shirley edition"!

From The Wedding Singer:

Robbie's nephew(who around 6 years old):"Hi Linda"
Linda:"Hey"
Robbie's nephew:"You're a bitch."

When the kid says that, I can't help but laugh every time!

From "Smokey & the Bandit":

Sheriff Buford T. Justice(to Junior): "There is no way you're from my loins. When we get home the first thing I'm going to do is punch your momma right in the mouth."

BTW, that part was ad-libbed by Jackie Gleason. He ad-libbed alot of lines in that movie.

[Wreckless]

There's a whole bunch of em from the Austin Powers Series.

Austin to the Japanese guy that throws the shoe lol

"Seriously, you fight like a woman." LOL that scene is hilarious.

[MonarC]

The Three Amigos

"Are gringos falling from the sky?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6E682C7Jj4

[tv star collector]

From The Three Stooges comedies:

When Moe slaps both Curly and Larry, they complain: "What's that for? We didn't do nothin.'" Replies Moe: "That's in case you do and I'm not around."
("Hoi Polloi")

Asked by Larry how they're going to make it in pictures when they know nothing, Moe replies, "There's a couple thousand people in pictures now know
nothin' about it. Three more won't make a difference."
("Movie Maniacs")

Sarge, finding the trio asleep on duty: "So, you're still yellow." "No," says
Curly. "I'm in the pink." Sarge socks him in the eye, saying, "Now you're in
the black."
("Half-Shot Shooters")

When Moe sees Curly cooking his shoe and asks him what he's making,
Curly says, "Well, that's filet of sole and heel."
("A Pain in the Pullman")

Moe: "Remind me to kill you later." Curly: "I'll make a note of it."
("Cash & Carry")

Moe: "We'll be shot at sunrise tomorrow." Curly: "Maybe the sun won't be
out tomorrow. It might rain."
("Three Little Sew and Sews")

Census taker Moe rings a doorbell, asks a man, "Are you married or happy?"
("No Census, No Feeling")

[phoebe7165]

Originally Posted by tv star collector

From The Three Stooges comedies:

When Moe slaps both Curly and Larry, they complain: "What's that for? We didn't do nothin.'" Replies Moe: "That's in case you do and I'm not around."
("Hoi Polloi")

Asked by Larry how they're going to make it in pictures when they know nothing, Moe replies, "There's a couple thousand people in pictures now know
nothin' about it. Three more won't make a difference."
("Movie Maniacs")

Sarge, finding the trio asleep on duty: "So, you're still yellow." "No," says
Curly. "I'm in the pink." Sarge socks him in the eye, saying, "Now you're in
the black."
("Half-Shot Shooters")

When Moe sees Curly cooking his shoe and asks him what he's making,
Curly says, "Well, that's filet of sole and heel."
("A Pain in the Pullman")

Moe: "Remind me to kill you later." Curly: "I'll make a note of it."
("Cash & Carry")

Moe: "We'll be shot at sunrise tomorrow." Curly: "Maybe the sun won't be
out tomorrow. It might rain."
("Three Little Sew and Sews")

Census taker Moe rings a doorbell, asks a man, "Are you married or happy?"
("No Census, No Feeling")

OMG, I didn't even think of the Stooges!!

Now are these from the movies or from the shorts? Because all I know is lines from the shorts.

One of my favorite lines -

Man:What kind of fool do you think I am?
Curly:Why, is there more than one kind?

and another

Judge:He's asking do you swear....
Curly:No, but I know all the words!

[tv star collector]

"OMG, I didn't even think of the Stooges!!

Now are these from the movies or from the shorts? Because all I know is lines from the shorts."

Those lines are all from the shorts.

Judge:He's asking do you swear....
Curly:No, but I know all the words!

That scene is from the classic short "Disorder in the Court."

Another favorite of mine is from "Dutiful but Dumb" when Moe, finding an unlocked door in the small
country of Vulgaria, says, "There must be honest people in this country!"

Another one is from a short that takes place in a jungle (I forget the title). Larry has just had a
frightening encounter with a crocodile and is looking for his shoe.
MOE: Never mind .. A shoe's not important!
LARRY: This one is -- I think it has my toes in it!

[phoebe7165]

Originally Posted by tv star collector

That scene is from the classic short "Disorder in the Court."

You know, I knew that but my mind went a total blank before!!

Some more -

From "Sing a Song of Six Pants"(see, I remembered that one!!)

They were trying to figure out what TH meant in the jacket -

Shemp: I know, Thomas Hedison.
Moe:You're wrong, quiz kid.

I loved Moe's line. So whenever I hear somebody answer something stupid, I say "You're wrong, quiz kid".

I also like Larry's answer to TH - Teddy Hoosevelt!!

or it's something like that, I might have the Shemp & Larry's lines mixed up.

Another one -

Curly is wearing "coke bottle glasses" and this guy is about to throw knives at Larry against the wall -

and again I probably don't have it verbatim

Moe:We have to save Larry.
Curly:Where is he?
Moe:Over there.
Curly:I can't see him.
Moe:Take those glasses off.
Curly:I still don't see him.
Moe:He's over against the wall.
Curly:What wall?
Moe - (he makes that sound, like Oh my God)Put the glasses back on!

[JoPol_wannabe]

From the Pink Panther Series:

Clouseau: Does yer dewg bite?
Inn Keeper: No
Clouseau: Nice Doggy (bends down to pet a dachshund - it snarls and bites him)
I thought you said yer dewg did not bite!
Inn Keeper: Zat... iz not my dog!

Housekeeper: You've ruined that piano!
Clouseau: What is the price of one piano, compared to the terrible crime that has been committed here
Housekeeper: But that's a priceless Steinway!
Clouseau: Nyot Anymeur.

Dreyfus: MINKEY??? You said MINKEY!!!
Clouseau: Yes... a Chimpanzee Minkey

François: Do you know what kind of a bomb it was?
Clouseau: Yes, the exploding kind

Professor Auguste Balls: When duty calls...you've got balls!

Ohhhh... Sixteen bottles on a dead man's rum, yo-ho-ho and a bottle of the chest.