Friday's Quotes: - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Frank Gannucci · 08-22-2008, 10:58 PM

"The Sleepwalker":

(Both Ralph and Ed are trying to sleep in separate beds in the same bedroom. Ed has been bothering Ralph to the point where Ralph can't sleep.)

Ed: "Ralph, are you sure you don't want a kumpquat?"

Ralph (turning over, yells): "WILL YOU GET TO BED?"

"Hello Mom":

Ed: "Ralph, you forgot to give me the friendly Racoon bye-bye!" (raising the tail on his cap): "Whoooooo!"

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT OF HERE!"

"Principle of The Thing":

(Jack Benny, who is playing the landlord, is visiting Ralph. He uses his own voice as he says the punchline in this quote.)

Ralph (to the landlord): "YOU SQUEEZE A PENNY SO HARD THAT WHEN YOU
ARE THROUGH, BOTH HEADS AND TAILS ARE ON THE SAME SIDE OF THE COIN. NOW WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY TO THAT?"

Landlord: "Well!"

"Vacation At Fred's Landing":

Ed: "Everybody please be calm. I know exactly where we are and I don't need a road map either."

Ralph: "How could you figure that?"

Ed: "Well, the sun is over there. There's the west. There's the north and there's the south."

Ralph: "Well, where are we?"

Ed: "Right smack in the middle."

"House Beautiful" (aka "Pardon My Glove"):

(Ed is rehearsing what Ralph should do when he comes to his surprise party which is scheduled for tomorrow night. Ed is moving around the room in a very unsurprised fashion.)

Ed (yells): "WOW! WHAT A SURPRISE!"

Alice (from other room): "What's going on out there?"

Ralph: "Nothing, go back to bed Alice."

Ed: "Yeah, I was just Ralph should do when he comes home tomorrow night."

"Move Uptown":

Ed: "I like to have a toast with you Ralph being that it's your last night here."

Ralph: "You know that's awfully nice of you Norton. I would like to have a toast with you."

Ed: "Good. Got any wine around the house?"

"Without Reservations":

Ralph: "You are a doer and I'm thinker."

Ed: "You certainly are."

"Two For The Money":

Ed: "This is the first day this week that I have a night away from Trixie."

Trixie: "Big deal. It's Monday."

"Two For The Money":

(Ralph says that if he keeps getting good positions at the Raccoon Lodge. If he does, more tails may hang from his Raccoon cap.)

Ralph: "Preety soon, I can become a thirteen-tail man. Do you know what it is like to be a thirteen-tail man?"

Alice: "I don't know. It must be pretty special since a monkey only has one."

08-22-2008, 10:58 PM	#1
Frank Gannucci Member Forum Star Join Date: Mar 05, 2007 Posts: 16,094	Friday's Quotes: "The Sleepwalker": (Both Ralph and Ed are trying to sleep in separate beds in the same bedroom. Ed has been bothering Ralph to the point where Ralph can't sleep.) Ed: "Ralph, are you sure you don't want a kumpquat?" Ralph (turning over, yells): "WILL YOU GET TO BED?" "Hello Mom": Ed: "Ralph, you forgot to give me the friendly Racoon bye-bye!" (raising the tail on his cap): "Whoooooo!" Ralph (yells): "GET OUT OF HERE!" "Principle of The Thing": (Jack Benny, who is playing the landlord, is visiting Ralph. He uses his own voice as he says the punchline in this quote.) Ralph (to the landlord): "YOU SQUEEZE A PENNY SO HARD THAT WHEN YOU ARE THROUGH, BOTH HEADS AND TAILS ARE ON THE SAME SIDE OF THE COIN. NOW WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY TO THAT?" Landlord: "Well!" "Vacation At Fred's Landing": Ed: "Everybody please be calm. I know exactly where we are and I don't need a road map either." Ralph: "How could you figure that?" Ed: "Well, the sun is over there. There's the west. There's the north and there's the south." Ralph: "Well, where are we?" Ed: "Right smack in the middle." "House Beautiful" (aka "Pardon My Glove"): (Ed is rehearsing what Ralph should do when he comes to his surprise party which is scheduled for tomorrow night. Ed is moving around the room in a very unsurprised fashion.) Ed (yells): "WOW! WHAT A SURPRISE!" Alice (from other room): "What's going on out there?" Ralph: "Nothing, go back to bed Alice." Ed: "Yeah, I was just Ralph should do when he comes home tomorrow night." "Move Uptown": Ed: "I like to have a toast with you Ralph being that it's your last night here." Ralph: "You know that's awfully nice of you Norton. I would like to have a toast with you." Ed: "Good. Got any wine around the house?" "Without Reservations": Ralph: "You are a doer and I'm thinker." Ed: "You certainly are." "Two For The Money": Ed: "This is the first day this week that I have a night away from Trixie." Trixie: "Big deal. It's Monday." "Two For The Money": (Ralph says that if he keeps getting good positions at the Raccoon Lodge. If he does, more tails may hang from his Raccoon cap.) Ralph: "Preety soon, I can become a thirteen-tail man. Do you know what it is like to be a thirteen-tail man?" Alice: "I don't know. It must be pretty special since a monkey only has one."