At What Age? (Expectations)

[Family Ties Forever!]

At what age do you think parents should expect kids to pack their own belongings in a suitcase by themselves where the adult will not check to make sure the child has not forgotten anything?

I'm asking because recently my brother and sister-in-law came out for the weekend with their kids. Their kids are: 14, 11, 11, 10 & 4. My niece who is 10, accidently forgot to pack her pj's. My sister-in-law said that it's the kids responsibility to make sure they have what they need. She said it's their responsibility to pack everything. She won't double check what they pack. I felt bad for my niece. Even adults forget to pack things sometimes. She's only 10. The first night I let my niece borrow a tshirt to use as a nightgown. The next day I bought her a nightgown at the Disney store. She was so happy! My sister-in-law didn't say anything, but I could sense that my sister-in-law wasn't happy that I did that. My sister-in-law is very strict and it seems like she's harder on my niece. My niece is her step-daughter. She's also hard on her older daughter (14 year old). She's not as hard on her younger daughter, who is 11. She's hard on my nephew who is 11, which is her step-son. The youngest, my nephew (who is 4) is spoiled rotten. My sister-in-law and brother (it's their child together) let him get a way with a lot. They're not hard on him.

Is it fair to expect young kids to remember to pack everything?

[Janice]

I think kids should be expected to pack responsibly at age 14, but not at 11 or 10. My mother always packed for us. When we started packing, she always doubled checked. She used to write a list, such as 2 PJs, 3 socks, 3 shirts, 2 paints, 2 bathing suits, toothbrush....that sort of thing. Still, kids are kids, and they make mistakes. Your sister-in-law sounds like a General, lol. Treating her stepkids different is awful.

[PZelda]

Originally Posted by Janice

I think kids should be expected to pack responsibly at age 14, but not at 11 or 10. My mother always packed for us. When we started packing, she always doubled checked. She used to write a list, such as 2 PJs, 3 socks, 3 shirts, 2 paints, 2 bathing suits, toothbrush....that sort of thing. Still, kids are kids, and they make mistakes. Your sister-in-law sounds like a General, lol. Treating her stepkids different is awful.

Amen.
At 10, you shouldn't have too much difficulties with packing... It's always a good idea to try to pack by yourself at that age and then have an adult double-check later. By 14, you should be just be fine without any help.

I did SO much traveling as a kid that I'm pretty sure I was packing my own suitcases without any help by the time I was 7-8 years old. I do have a funny story, though... The summer I turned 9 (this was in 1994 - I was still 8 at the time of this story), we went on a family vacation to the Twin Cities area. That was something we did every summer up until my parents split, and the summer of '94 was the last one my parents were still together. Anyway, we all packed our suitcases the night before we left, my parents packed the van in the morning and then we took off for the Twin Cities later that morning. When we got to our hotel, my parents unloaded the van and... My suitcase wasn't there. Mind you, this was NOT my responsibility. So we ended up going to Target and some other stores to buy what I needed. Eek.

When we got home after our vacation... There my suitcase was, sitting in the bedroom, all packed and ready to go.

[Brieannas21]

I would say at age 12 kids should be responsible to pack their own things. As a parent you can always check to see if they packed the things that they will need. But it's always great to give your children some kind of responsibility.

[Hollow]

reminds me of when i was 10 years old and went on a trip with my family except for my mom (she had a restraining order on my dad at the time) and he yelled at me for forgetting the ~$100 i'd saved up from allowances and had not been told i needed to bring. yelled at me again a few hours later for not bringing a bathing suit, and then forced me to go swimming in a t-shirt and denim shorts even though i didn't want to at all.

kids under 12 or so should probably have their things double-checked, and then left with the responsibility when they start to get older and have a consistency of remembering everything they need.

[Schmoopie]

Well, I don't think it matters what age you are. I'm 40 and I've forgotten to pack things! I think your sister-in-law should have taken the extra few minutes to check everyone's suitcases. I mean what harm could it do? I don't really think it's a question of responsibity.

Andrea

[Sharop]

I think 12 or 13 would be a good age...by that time people are starting to grow out of being a kid and entering adolescence.

Still, it seems like your sister-in-law was quite harsh on your niece. It was just a mistake. As others have said, adults forget things too.

[veggie-tari-jenn]

I am not sure what age...but heres a funny story I am 34 and my Mom always asks if I am taking this or that wherever I am going...hehe

[Chocoholic]

Originally Posted by Family Ties Forever!

At what age do you think parents should expect kids to pack their own belongings in a suitcase by themselves where the adult will not check to make sure the child has not forgotten anything?

Is it fair to expect young kids to remember to pack everything?

I think children should be responsible for making sure they have what they need. The parent should guide them, but shouldn't be doing all the work for them. It drives me crazy when 5th graders give me the excuse "My mom didn't make sure my homework was in my backpack."

Your sister-in-law does sound a bit harsh with her stepkids though. That's really sad. What does your brother say?