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#1 |
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*Mindanao Machiku*
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 21, 2000
Location: Temporarily in Ok, permanent location ^ there!
Posts: 1,011
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Ok, let's say that the note meant that she was breaking up with Teddy, ko?
Suprising Hostage By Danielle Powell Based on a role play by Jo_Polniczek, BlairW_1, and Teddys_Angel_Jinny Chapter One Jinny Extead walked into The Anchorside feeling a little down. It was the third day since she had broken up with Teddy, her boyfriend for two months, and she felt like she could use something to calm her nerves. As she approached the bar, she saw her best friend and partner, Magda Ramirez, slouched over on her arm, apparently bothered by something. And it was true. Her personal life was overly trying right now, as she and her son, Ben, were being stalked by Ben's surrogate father, Gabriel. Beside her was an empty glass. Jinny sat down beside Magda. "Hey, Magda, you feeling all right?" Magda looked up at Jinny with bloodshot eyes. "Does it look like I'm all right? I'm tired of this, Jinny. I'm sick and tired of Gabriel following my every move. Calling me, somehow reaching me, no matter how many times I change my number! He's leaving roses at my doorstep! G--, Jinny, he's even tracking Ben to his soccer games! Don't you think that's a little too far?" All this time, Jinny was staring at her with a concerned look. But it was hard to look concerned, because she was so tired. She just wanted to have a drink and go home. "Magda, I'm sorry about all this. But maybe it's a sign that he wants to be a part of your family again. Have you thought about that?" Magda looked at her with disbelief. "You too? Everyone thinks I've been too hard on him, that I should let him back into my life. Well, that will be a little hard, considering he never was in my life in the first place! I don't want him near my son!" She looks at the bartender. "Hey, could I have another beer here? Oh, wait a minute. Jinny, do you want anything?" "Uh... no, I don't think so." "Okay, if you say so." She then said to the barkeeper, "Just one beer." Jinny was suprised at what she was about to say, because she was so tired, but knew it had to be said. "Magda, I just want you to know that I'll always be there anytime you need to talk." Magda put her face in her hands. "Jinny, thanks, but I'm not really in the talking mood. I just want to finish this and go home." Jinny let out a mental sigh of relief. "Magda, do you want a ride home or something? I'm gonna leave, I need a good night's sleep for once." "No, I think I'll just stay here for a while," she said, then drank a gulp of her beer. "I need some time away from home; from life, if you know what I mean." She took another gulp, and tears stung her eyes as the harsh liquid ran down her throat. She normally drank a little, but never so much at a time. That's what was making Jinny worried. "Magda, I'm taking you home, ok? Ben's probably wondering where you are." "Jinny, I'm not going home right now," she said, and weakly pushed Jinny away. She downed the rest of her beer, and stood up a little dizzily. "Now I'm going." They paid for their drinks, walked out to Jinny's car, and went to Magda's house. Chapter Two As Jinny and Magda walked up to the door, Magda noticed something strange. "Would Mom have left the door open when she was watching Ben?" "I don't know," Jinny said, "but let me check it out first, okay?" "No, I'm going in with you, that's my mom and son in there!" Magda said, with urgency in her voice. "Okay, but I'm still going in first," she said, and pulled out her gun. Magda did the same, and they slowly walked in, back to back. "Ben?" Magda called out. "Mom? Are you okay?" She looked to the left of the door. "Clear." "Clear. Ben, are you here?" Jinny asked, and took a few more steps in. "Papi, please talk to me and tell me if you're okay." Magda heard a shuffling noise in the closet, and ran to check it out. She opened the door and found her mom in there, tied up with a rope, and her nouth taped shut. "Mom!" She untied her and helped her up. "Mom, who did this to you?" she asked. "I don't know, it was some young man. I've never seen him before!" Magda hugged her mom, then looked at Jinny suddenly. "Ben! Where is he?" she asked, and ran back to the closet. "Magda, he's not in there. I don't know where he is! The man had him with a gun held to his head, and then tied me up in the closet. They could be anywhere by now..." Magda sat down suddenly against the wall. Jinny walked over to her and said, "Well, I'm not giving up. Come on, Magda, we can find him." She looked at Magda's mom. "Call the station and report this. Tell them that Inspectors Ramirez and Extead are here. Magda, let's check the rest of this place out." Magda stood up and said, "It was Gabriel, I know it was." "What makes you so sure?" Jinny said. "I... I just know, okay? Trust me. All well, who cares? I just want to find Ben." "You've found him," said a voice coming from the bedroom. Magda slowly walks towards the coice with her gun pointed at the door. "Come out, or I'll shoot!" "Well, that wouldn't be smart, considering I have Ben right here beside me, now would it?" Ok, more tomorrow! ------------------ My mind is like lightning: one brilliant flash, then it's gone. If you have two legs, run; if you have one leg, hop; if you have no legs, fly. ~*Danielle*~ |
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#2 |
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Member
Frequent Poster
Join Date: Jul 16, 2001
Posts: 421
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OMG, even though I know what's gonna happen, I think we deserve more! Gosh, that was sooo embarassing.
------------------ §º§º§ Kenzie §º§º§ |
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#3 |
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smile :)
Forum Regular
Join Date: Dec 18, 2000
Posts: 971
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Oooh, more please!!!
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#4 |
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Sweet scaredy cat
Forum Regular
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MORE PLEASE!
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#5 |
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*Mindanao Machiku*
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 21, 2000
Location: Temporarily in Ok, permanent location ^ there!
Posts: 1,011
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Sooooo sorry, y'all. Do y'all mind if I post more tommorow, cuz I wanna post two chapters at a time. I have the third written, but the fourth has a really good cliffhanger, the way I'm planning it. ko? kk. <3 ya lotz!
------------------ My mind is like lightning: one brilliant flash, then it's gone. If you have two legs, run; if you have one leg, hop; if you have no legs, fly. ~*Danielle*~ |
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#6 |
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Member
Frequent Poster
Join Date: Jul 16, 2001
Posts: 421
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Can't wait for the thing that you told me about that I'm not posed to tell ne1 about, so post more soon so u can get to the thing sooner!
------------------ Teddy: Jinny, what are you doing? Jinny: What am I doing? (louder) What am I doing? I'm having a drink! This is a party, is it not? §º§º§º§º§º§º§º§º§º§º§º§º§ Teddy's Dad: So, what about you, Jinny? Please, uh, tell us about some of your cases. The one's you're on. Please. Jinny: (nods) Well, we just finished one where we nailed this step-father for abusing his step-daughter... yeah. She was three and a half. Teddy's Dad: Oh, no! That's awful. You know, you can't pick up the-- Jinny: Then there's the one where... wait, we got one pending now, I'm telling you... okay, okay, you with me? So, the guy, he calls 911, okay? He says he's just killed his wife. Teddy: All right... Jinny: We can't find the body... Till we look in the refrigerator. Teddy: Okay... hey, Jinny... Jinny: Very neatly carved. Teddy's Dad: Hmm... Jinny: Mm-hmm. |
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#7 |
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*Mindanao Machiku*
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 21, 2000
Location: Temporarily in Ok, permanent location ^ there!
Posts: 1,011
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I've combined the third and fourth chapters because both of them are pretty boring anyway, so don't hate me if this seems rushed and stupid. Oh, and if Gabriel seems mean, sorry about that, it's just the way I wrote him. I, like, really didn't know what to do with this chapter, so plz bear with me, k? kk.
Chapter Three Chapter Three "Please, Gabriel, just let him go!" "Magda, he's my son too! Face it, I'm getting at least one member of my family back, if not both. Magda, it's you or him." Magda stared at the door with a blank expression on her face. "Gabriel, open the door. Just let me see my son." She looked at the door and waited for it to open. "Magda, what if he doesn't open the door?" Jinny whispered. "He will," Magda said. "I know him, he will." After she said that, the door opened slowly. Gabriel walked out, holding Ben's hand. "Looking for our son?" "Gabriel, he's mine, not yours. He never was your son! Face it, you're holding on to something you never had. It's useless!" Magda said, in a feeble attempt to convince him to let her have her son back. "Well," Gabriel said, with a sly smile on his face, "maybe he wasn't mine then, but he's mine now." Just then, Ben twisted his father's hand and got free of his grasp. "Mom," he yelled, "help me!" Magda ran towards him, only to have Gabriel grab him back. "Now, you don't want me to hurt him, do you?" "Gabriel, earlier you said it was me or him." Magda took a step closer. "Take me." "Magda... are you sure?" Gabriel said in disbelief. "Do you really love him that much?" "I.. I..." she studdered. "Yes, I do," she said firmly. Jinny stepped forward. "Gabriel, I think that you should let Magda and Ben go, maybe you can work something out." Gabriel looked at her in disgust. "Who are you? And why are you butting into mine and Magda's business?" That pushed Magda over the edge. "Gabriel, it's not your business!" she yelled. "What the h*** do you think your doing, coming here and taking my son?" She walked up to him with anger in her eyes. Gabriel pulled Ben closer to him. "Gabriel," she said, almost calmly, "if you don't let him go..." She took a deep breath. "I just might have to use this," she said, holding up her gun. "Mag... Magda, don't..." Gabriel said, a little nervous. "I'll let Ben go." "Let him go now." Gabriel hesitated, not wanting to give up his chance for a family. "Let him go!" Gabriel quickly released his grip on Ben, pulled out a gun, and shot blindly. "Hey!" The shot hit Jinny, who was thrown back into Magda's mom, who was standing by the door silently witnessing it all. "Jinny!" Magda yelled. She grabbed Ben's hand and started to run towards Jinny, but Gabriel grabbed her first. He started to drag Magda into the bedroom. Ben was being dragged along with her, as he wouldn't let go of her hand. "Ben, let go!" "But mom, he has you!" Ben yelled, torn between safety and his mom. "Ben," Magda said with tears in her eyes, "let go." Ben let go, and Gabriel drug her into the bedroom. Okay, next two chapters will be really good, I promise. I already have the fifth one written, just need to do the fourth. ------------------ My mind is like lightning: one brilliant flash, then it's gone. If you have two legs, run; if you have one leg, hop; if you have no legs, fly. ~*Danielle*~ |
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#8 |
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Member
Frequent Poster
Join Date: Jul 16, 2001
Posts: 421
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(Eeeeevvvviiilll laugh.) Chapter 5... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Can't wait. Is that where the thing that I'm not posed to tell ne1 bout happens?
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#9 |
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*Mindanao Machiku*
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 21, 2000
Location: Temporarily in Ok, permanent location ^ there!
Posts: 1,011
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:::smirks::: yup! But it's not what a lot of y'all are probably thinking.
------------------ My mind is like lightning: one brilliant flash, then it's gone. If you have two legs, run; if you have one leg, hop; if you have no legs, fly. ~*Danielle*~ |
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#10 |
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Member
Frequent Poster
Join Date: Jul 16, 2001
Posts: 421
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Kewl... Can't wait!
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#11 |
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Straight outta WI!
Frequent Poster
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u gonna post it tonight? this fanfic is REALLY good!
[This message has been edited by Wisupastar (edited 06-12-2001).] |
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#12 |
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*Mindanao Machiku*
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 21, 2000
Location: Temporarily in Ok, permanent location ^ there!
Posts: 1,011
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I'm gonna try!
Can you tell I'm just posting little things so I can get to 600 posts today? hah! I shall succeed!------------------ My mind is like lightning: one brilliant flash, then it's gone. If you have two legs, run; if you have one leg, hop; if you have no legs, fly. ~*Danielle*~ |
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#13 |
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Member
Frequent Poster
Join Date: Jul 16, 2001
Posts: 421
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I'm sure you will.
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#14 |
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Sweet scaredy cat
Forum Regular
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Post it soon PLEASE!
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#15 |
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*Mindanao Machiku*
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 21, 2000
Location: Temporarily in Ok, permanent location ^ there!
Posts: 1,011
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I just got back from bball camp, it's from 8:30 to 1:00 central time, and my mom took over the computer for about thirty minutes. We're kind o late, cuz we went to Sonic. (Yeah!) Gonna check my poetry page, the boards, and start writing!
Hey, I just checked, and this is 600! YEAH!!! And, at bball camp, we won both of our games, including one that has almost all AAU members. I'm in a good mood!------------------ My mind is like lightning: one brilliant flash, then it's gone. If you have two legs, run; if you have one leg, hop; if you have no legs, fly. ~*Danielle*~ [This message has been edited by BlairW_1 (edited 06-13-2001).] |
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