Beauty Isnt Always On The Inside (first Division fanfic)

This is my first Division fanfic, so it may be pretty odd. I'm a first time Division viewer.
Setting: SFPD Division
Jinny walks in, tired out.
Magada: "Are you okay?"
Jinny: "Yeah I'm fine."
Magada (doubtfully) "Okay."
(Kate comes in)
Kate: "Exstead , Raminez, just got another case."
Jinny: "What is it? Got another murder?"
Kate: "Apparently, young 25 year old female, named Chelsea Jennings, occupation, stripper, murdered Jason Rockford, about 18, about five minutes ago, need to get over to San Francisco 25 Club."
Magada: "We're on it, Captain."
(Kate walks out)
Jinny: "God, this sounds serious."
Magada: "Well, aren't they all?"
(Magada and Jinny head out, badges in place)
San Francisco 25 Club. Chelsea is being sat down outside the building.
Chelsea looks up.
Chelsea: "Who the h*ll are you?"
Jinny :"Inspector Jinny Exstead."
Magada: "Inspector Magdalana Raminez, we're from the San Francisco Police Department Division, and apparently you shot Jason Rockford."
Chelsea: "I didn't even know his name! He was beginning to push me and trying to take off my clothes when I got a gun out and shot him!"
Jinny: "Was that all?"
Chelsea: "Well, I don't remember, but my friends were there, they saw it!"
Magada: "What are their names?"
Chelsea: "But really, it isn't important-"
Magada: "Names?"
Chelsea: "Amanda Robinson, Marie Johnson, and Lisa Holly."
Jinny: "Are you sure nothing else happened?"
Chelsea: "I told you, I can't remember anything else!"
Jinny: "Well you know we're gonna talk again right?"
Chelsea: "Alright! Now leave me alone!"
Jinny and Magada walk away.
Magada: "That girl has a dirty mouth."
Jinny: "Believe me, I was dirtier to a girl I used to go to school with."
This may not be the best, but I'll try to keep going.
Tell me if you like it! Remember, my first ep of The Division was last night.


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Always hoping for a change, always hoping for a return trip to the 80s.
Forget the Olsens, Jodie Sweetin is number 1. Long live Rick Schroder!

[Teddys_Angel_Jinny]

Mary! You finally listened to me and watched it! (j/k!) Oh, and it's Magda Ramirez. Sorry, I just had to point that out. Don't be embarrassed. Lots of people do it! I did once... That's great though!

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God bless you one and all.
~~~<@ Kenzie @>~~~

"Greater love hath no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friend."
§ John 15:13 KJV §

[NancyJoJinny]

GREAT!!! But Magda is short for Magdelana...Right??? Thats what it says on her lifetimetv.com thing... but do keep going

[Jo's Girl]

Awesome...and yes Magda is short for Magdelana.

[ks]

Totally cool start. And congrats for watching the first episode of "The Division".

When they start the season over during the summer you can watch all the episodes and get all caught up

Looking forward to reading more of the fic!

ks

[nancysbiggestfan]

Great! Especially for your first time. Please keep going.

Heres more:
Jinny and Magda are back at the station.
Jinny: "You think that Chelsea was telling the truth?"
Magda: "Nah, she probably wasn't. She looked away a lot out there."
Jinny: "Yeah, I'm having my susipcions."
Chelsea comes into the room.
Chelsea: "Look you two, I don't know what those airheaded cops have told you-"
Magda: "I wouldn't say airheaded."
Chelsea sits down.
Chelsea: "But let me tell you. What happened that night is more than you think."
Jinny: "Meaning?"
Chelsea gets misty-eyed.
Chelsea: "Meaning, I probably got out of control for a reason."
pause.
Chelsea: "I did know who that guy is, I've him half my life. Jason never knew what I was going through growing up. My dad was extremely abusive. My mom didn't care. (starting to cry) She never did. She let him hit me, and rape me, and hold me at gunpoint. She drank, he drank, never really worked much. So, when I graduated, I didn't have any money. So, I took the best job I could find...a stripping job."
Chelsea flashes back to when she was six, to where at her home, her dad is yelling at her,holding a knife at her neck, while she screams.

[Love The Facts Of Life]

This is really good.can't wait to finish it.

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*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Jo:I don't know you got to admit:Force has some good points.
Blair:Jo's hoping to attend the Chuck Norris School Of Law

Blair:If I don't spend money soon,well I'll just pull all my hair out.
Jo:Good,we'll finally get to see what color the roots are.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
God Bless Everyone
email me @ jinnyandteddy4ever@yahoo.com

Here's more:
Chelsea has another flashback when she was eleven, her mother is yelling at her when she all of a sudden hits Chelsea on the head with a toaster.
Chelsea (through tears): "And, it was always like that. I never felt beautiful on the inside, never have. So, I thought that being a stripper would help me become more beautiful on the outside. It's just as worse. I don't know what to do."
Jinny: "But you still killed someone."
Magda: "But we may be able to help."
Chelsea: "Really?"
Jinny: "Yes. We can't let you deal with this alone. We can help you through this."
Chelsea all of a sudden remembers at age sixteen, after getting raped by her father, she shot him in the stomach, and when she was eight, when she was told by her mother that she didn't belong in the family.
Chelsea: "Thank you."
What do you think?

[NancyMcKeonFan8976]

AWESOME!!!! Great job!!!! lovin' it

[NancyJoJinny]

LOVE IT.... And im sure the real chelsea on this board will too!